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Harmless Autism Jokes

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Norny
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20 Mar 2014, 5:40 am

READ: I'm creating this thread out of happiness, though despite my signature, I apologize in advance if anyone is offended by this thread and understand if it's locked/removed. If you don't understand a joke I'll provide the meaning, and if you personally find one distasteful please PM me with few sentences explaining why and I'll remove it no questions asked. I haven't seen these jokes anywhere before (though chances are at least some exist already).

------------------------------------

1. An Aspie walks into a bar.
- Literally.

2. After handing over a $10 note for an item that cost $7, an autistic ran away empty handed.
- Turns out they couldn't handle the change.

3. Which company role causes autistics to experience dysfunction?
- Executive

4. Why would autistics make the best Starcraft Marines?
- They both stim

5. If it's true that Aspies are cold, then I guess you could say they can't stand hot weather..
- ..because they will melt-down

------------------------------------

Please share if you have any. I'm taking a risk posting this so I don't want to appear evil. ;P


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skibum
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20 Mar 2014, 5:48 am

Those are very cute I like them. I don't understand the one about the Marines though. How does the word stim affect Marines? And I don't know what Starcraft Marines are. I imagine a starcraft is like a space shuttle or something and I know what the Marine Corps and the Merchant Marines are but I don't know the word Starcraft Marine. You can pm me the explanation if you don't want to put the dots together publicly! :0)


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Norny
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20 Mar 2014, 5:56 am

skibum wrote:
Those are very cute I like them. I don't understand the one about the Marines though. How does the word stim affect Marines? And I don't know what Starcraft Marines are. I imagine a starcraft is like a space shuttle or something and I know what the Marine Corps and the Merchant Marines are but I don't know the word Starcraft Marine. You can pm me the explanation if you don't want to put the dots together publicly! :0)


Thanks! XD

Starcraft is an incredibly popular RTS game; it is a national sport in Korea. Marines are one of the game's core & renowned units. They have an ability called 'Stimpack' which temporarily boosts their combat effectiveness. It was one of the most powerful abilities in the game, and everyone referred to using it as 'stim' or 'stimming'.

Link for reference - Click


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Who_Am_I
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20 Mar 2014, 7:48 am

I liked no. 2 in particular.

What's the autistic theme song?

If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands.


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20 Mar 2014, 7:52 am

I have a photographic memory.

It just needs developing.


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sharkattack
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20 Mar 2014, 8:24 am

As regards those jokes I dare you to look me in the eye when you say them. :lol:



bumble
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20 Mar 2014, 9:08 am

Cute jokes LOL



Wind
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20 Mar 2014, 9:29 am

These are great :D


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linatet
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20 Mar 2014, 11:46 am

I liked this topic but I didn't understand number 1.

Quote:
What's the autistic theme song?

If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands.

this one is great :lol:



Douglas_MacNeill
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20 Mar 2014, 11:48 am

*imitating Fozzy Bear*
Wocka wocka wocka!



btbnnyr
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20 Mar 2014, 12:29 pm

I don't like these jokes. They're not funny. They're like those jokes about black people that I read in the comments of an article about the missing plane yesterday.


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20 Mar 2014, 1:08 pm

I always use to say "an aspie walked in to a bar. Ouch!"

Q. How do you spot the extroverted aspie?
A. He is staring at your shoes.



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20 Mar 2014, 1:20 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
I don't like these jokes. They're not funny. They're like those jokes about black people that I read in the comments of an article about the missing plane yesterday.


Black people call themselves "n****rs" all the time and they find no offense in doing that. I think as autistic people. Making jokes about are selves I would think would be less offensive then for an NT to crack an autistic joke.



Norny
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20 Mar 2014, 1:22 pm

linatet wrote:
I liked this topic but I didn't understand number 1.
Quote:
What's the autistic theme song?

If you're happy and you know it, flap your hands.

this one is great :lol:


Number 1 means that the person with Asperger's walked into a bar/pole. I used the word 'literally' because it's common for Aspies to be very literal.

btbnnyr wrote:
I don't like these jokes. They're not funny. They're like those jokes about black people that I read in the comments of an article about the missing plane yesterday.


That's ok. Personally I don't really laugh at jokes such as those myself, but they amuse me and make me feel happy.


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LupaLuna
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20 Mar 2014, 1:32 pm

Q: How many aspies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It "literally" takes just one.



ouroborosUK
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20 Mar 2014, 6:02 pm

I love them :) Especially the 1 and 2, and 3 is quite great too. Thank you Norny and others.

Independently from the fact that it is about AS, that is exactly the kind of word-based humour that can make me burst into laughter but that most of the people I know will find mildly amusing.

It looks like the people here have fairly different senses of humour so it is probably abusive to speak of an "aspie sense of humour", but still, I sometimes wonder if there is something like that.


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A bit obsessed with vocabulary, semantics and using the right words. Sorry if it is a concern. It's the way I think, I am not hair-splitting or attacking you.