Platonic crushes

Post Reply New Topic

I crush on people so bad! And its usually a bro/man crush, though I've fallen for ladies. My crushes are always non romantic. I just get this surge of positive energy just thinking about them, but when face to face, I'm terrified. I posted earlier about my past with abuse and fatherlessness so im sure that comes into play. And being socially awkward just adds to it.I've seen a lot of rejection and manipulation too, so its extremely hard to know what to do. They are like leprechauns lol. Very scarce with only a few quick moments to express friendly words. I'm just so glad for a place like this to share and hear about other people.

When I was married I would get introduced to some of my wife's female friends. I would develop a man-crush style thing if they were fun to hang out with, but I wouldn't see them sexually.

Sometimes one would have something about her appearance that was cute like the way her teeth looked when she laughed, I would point that out to her & my wife for a laugh

Last edited by klanka on 05 Sep 2022, 3:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Well...if our chief executive can "fall in love" with Kim Jong Un, and vice versa, then why not?

As long as the object of your man crush is less homicidal than Kim Jong Un then...whats to apologize for?

I had a plutonic crush on my music teacher when I was 12. The teacher spoke with a Cockney accent. It was like magic. I was good friends with him.

I've had a crush on someone for years.
It's platonic.

I don't know if I'd call it platonic in my mind, though.

I sort of do this.
Except it's rare. Rarer in real life.

Once I mistook this for the romantic variety... Looking back, it makes sense but then to imagine if it is
..

If you imagine yourself "being romantic with the person" then its not a "platonic crush". Its just a crush. Like a celebrity crush. Or like that.

Yeah, I know.

Platonic applies because nothing's ever happened.
In all likelihood, nothing ever will happen.

It's not quite like a celebrity crush since I know this person.

Never heard of that accent, I'll look it up

Blimey mate!

Never 'eard of Cockney?

Where da 'ell 'ave you been?

Its the lower class dialect of the London East End. Micheal Caine speaks in the dialect when he is not acting because it is his native dialect, and the late Amy Winehouse spoke a strong Cockney when she wasnt singing.

The Fifties musical "My Fair Lady" is about a professor trying to train a girl from the slums to loose her Cockney dialect, and to speak in upper class British English. So..watch this, and imagine Rex Harrison is doing the opposite with you to what he is doing with Audrey Hepburn, and ...you will learn to speak Cockney.


https://youtu.be/uKxd30lQ1f0

Oooooh. "di-en raaayoolowize it hade a nowym" (didn't realize it had a name) I probably typed more of an Aussie accent there lol. I'd talk like that in a heartbeat

I get these really strongly, too, and really often. I'm gay and male, and I get crushes on other guys, which can complicate things. I usually have at least one going at any time, but I have none at the moment (very odd). I've estimated that neurotypical people get these also, but I don't think it's to the strength that we do. For me, it's almost an obsession. It usually is not sexual for me. There is occasionally a slightly sexual component, like really really liking their smile or their eyes or something like that, but it's much more of a platonic bromance like you describe. Like maybe there will be a guy at the gym or a cashier at the grocery store. I just really like them and want to see and talk to them and learn everything about them. I get nervous around them and I try to hide it, but I know it sometimes shows.

I've learned to never, ever act on it. I do my best to keep my behavior very similar to how I would treat a non-crush and I'm constantly analyzing my 'performance' around them. I'm out to everyone, but I don't want to make a straight guy uncomfortable by letting him know what a huge crush I have on him, even though it isn't a sexual crush at all. I always hide it and try to mentally pull myself away from it.

To give you an example, at my previous job, there was a guy named Rich who I developed a HUGE crush on. Because of his job, he came into my office every day, sometimes a few times a day, for a few hours at a time. So we got to know each other well. He would laugh and joke with all of us in the office. He was just a really nice guy. He was straight and married and had two sons in middle school and grade school. I really really liked Rich.

I didn't want to have sex with Rich, and I wouldn't have even if he'd offered. (I have had guys who were supposedly straight hit me up for sex because they misinterpreted my crush on them.) It wasn't sexual. I wasn't at all jealous of his wife or his sons, even though he was a great dad and I didn't really get that with my own dad, so now I have father issues. Sometimes I would get so flustered around him that I could barely speak, and other times, I would be just fine and laugh and joke back with him. He knew I was gay, and I'm sure he knew I had a crush on him. He was nice enough not to mention it or treat me differently because if it. He was a good-looking guy, so a few of the girls in the office also had crushes on him. But they only wanted sex. I always tried to make sure I didn't stare at him or ask too many questions about his life or spend too much time with him or give him too much attention. I couldn't help blushing around him, though. I blush really easily. We worked together for about five years and my crush never went away. I got a different job and don't see him any more, but if I did, I'm sure all those feelings would come right back.

Thank you for sharing that! Yes its so much like the best feeling and agonizing because you want a deeper connection with this person. Friend, my dad was not around either so I got some daddy issues too. Especially around bigger burly guys. At feeling of not being able to speak or speak/act normally...totally relate. And society is so sex-crazed people think everybody wants to sleep with them if they're shown any affection.