Asperger Syndrome and dealing with disagreement

Page 1 of 3 [ 37 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Noamx
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2022
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 174
Location: Israel

24 Jul 2022, 6:13 pm

Well basically, this time what I wanted to talk to you about is Asperger Syndrome and dealing with disagreement. It seems there are multiple different ways of dealing with disagreement for people who have this syndrome or normal people who are handling a conversation with someone else who have this syndrome, and so on. Can you please explain what you think could be the best way to deal with it? For me, it has always been avoiding trouble, and so on. I'm not a war type of person, but more a peace type of person. I hate yelling, cursing, name calling, physical violence, violence in generally, protests, demonstrations... the list goes on. I mean, not that I would shut up about it if my rights were violated, but why make a big deal out of it to this extent? You can perform the same type of thing without becoming violent, without it losing control. Thats my point. So yeah, was hoping if you all can please share what you think about this, thanks.


_________________
Hobbies include Video Games, Music, Sports, Swimming, Watch TV, Sex/Getting laid, Alcohol, Writing, Reading, and more.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 57,004
Location: Stendec

24 Jul 2022, 6:42 pm

What is the best way to deal with it?

By presenting valid, empirically-derived facts in opposition to falsehood and fallacy, and using objective reason in opposition to subjective belief and opinion.

Belief proves nothing, even when attempts to support those beliefs and opinions involves other “echo-chamber” beliefs and opinions.

For example: The mere fact that “lots of” people (erroneously) put their faith in fortune-tellers (i.e., astrologers, card-readers, crystal-gazers, et cetera), does absolutely nothing to validate any claims that those fortune-tellers have ever derived any practical knowledge from their alleged divinatory abilities.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 24,276
Location: UK

24 Jul 2022, 8:00 pm

I'm OK at dealing with disagreement in day to day life.

On WP, not so much. I think it's the way some Aspies side with others and you can only win if you know how to use such intelligent words, then when you get all emotional about it some Aspies here just mock you.

With NTs it's easier, because you don't have to think of clever words to win the battle. You just use emotion and body language. So much easier. And most NTs aren't so intimidating when they disagree with you like some Aspies here can be. Maybe Aspies are easier to agree to disagree in real life, I don't know. The Aspies I know in real life seem to be like the NTs.


_________________
Female
Aged 32

Diagnosed with ADHD
Have Anxiety Disorder
Diagnosed with mild ASD but I don't identify as autistic


klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,395
Location: Cardiff, Wales

25 Jul 2022, 5:34 am

You can bring out facts all day, then someone else could bring out facts that support a different conclusion.

For example: Scientific studies say that steroids are the best treatment for asthma. I changed my diet and my asthma is gone. I can't cite any scientific studies for that and someone could come along and say 'anecdotal evidence!'

So the issue of asthma boils down to belief, just like a lot of other issues.

So, when talking to someone in real life I just let it slide. I can't be bothered getting into an argument as it causes stress for hours or days afterwards.



timf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 937

25 Jul 2022, 6:37 am

Conflict resolution can span a spectrum from Sherman's march to the sea at one end to the surrender of Belgium to the Germans at the other. In between are various forms of negotiation. The sensitivity of Aspergers would generally tend toward acquiescence. However a degree of intransigence can impart some resolve.

Diplomacy is sometimes called an agreement where everyone is dissatisfied. In order to negotiate, one must first understand the language that is being used. If logic, truth, and rationale are being used one can work at building a case. If bluster, emotion, and manipulation are being used, one may have to use that "language".

It can be confusing, especially if use is made of "expert" opinion because it might seem that logic is being employed, when actually the waters are being muddies to bully for position.



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,516

25 Jul 2022, 8:00 am

For me it depends whether it's disagreement about a particular supposed fact, or disagreement over what to do about a situation that might affect me.

If it's a difference about a supposed fact, I'm usually prepared to let it go these days, though I still have a tendency to "set the matter straight" if I feel strongly convinced that the other person is incorrect. I don't quite understand what's so wrong with that if it's done in the right spirit, i.e. just trying to help get to the truth. But I notice that sometimes a person will hold a "cherished belief" and that they'll be upset if I make it look wrong. And some people just seem to like winning debates and scoring points off others. No doubt it's nice to win, but I don't see much point in such a competition in the first place, and if it's not even clearly labelled as a competition, that's even worse to me.

If it's a disagreement about a decision that affects me, that's another matter.



Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,864
Location: Small Town From Hell

25 Jul 2022, 8:41 am

klanka wrote:
You can bring out facts all day, then someone else could bring out facts that support a different conclusion.

For example: Scientific studies say that steroids are the best treatment for asthma. I changed my diet and my asthma is gone. I can't cite any scientific studies for that and someone could come along and say 'anecdotal evidence!'

So the issue of asthma boils down to belief, just like a lot of other issues.

So, when talking to someone in real life I just let it slide. I can't be bothered getting into an argument as it causes stress for hours or days afterwards.


“Evidence” that is based on personal experience is anecdotal and, thus, belief-driven. Evidence that is based on empirical research does not need to rely on beliefs because it is fact-driven.

As far as your asthma is concerned, there are a variety of possibilities which would be supported by scientific research. Losing weight, for example, can help some people who have asthma.


_________________
Away.


rowan_nichol
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Jul 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 744
Location: England

25 Jul 2022, 8:50 am

klanka wrote:
You can bring out facts all day, then someone else could bring out facts that support a different conclusion.

For example: Scientific studies say that steroids are the best treatment for asthma. I changed my diet and my asthma is gone. I can't cite any scientific studies for that and someone could come along and say 'anecdotal evidence!'

So the issue of asthma boils down to belief, just like a lot of other issues.

So, when talking to someone in real life I just let it slide. I can't be bothered getting into an argument as it causes stress for hours or days afterwards.


It appears to be the case asthma is related to immune response to certain "Antigens / allergens" ( household dust was one which seemed to set mine off)

Steroids are known to reduce the immune response and inflammatory response, and ( anecdote) controlled an attack very promptly after over chlorinated swimming pool kicked off the attack.

However, if one manages to stop the allergens getting to you in the first place ( eg care in diet, house cleaning, etc) then one can probably stop that unhelpful immune or inflammatory reaction in the first place, making the steroids unnecessary except perhaps to keep in reserve.



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,395
Location: Cardiff, Wales

25 Jul 2022, 9:19 am

Well, my theory on asthma is that it's a problem with acid or alkaline buffering in the person's body.

Mine gets better when I eat fruit&veg which are supposed to be alkaline forming foods. When I eat the acid forming foods by themselves too much (most other foods) I get short of breath. This doesnt happen with most people so I assume it must be a disability with regulating body PH.

If you contrast this with the mainstream view of what causes it, both sides could say the other are missing facts etc.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 57,004
Location: Stendec

25 Jul 2022, 9:39 am

Is that "Ph imbalance causes asthma" hoax still going around?

:roll:



Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,864
Location: Small Town From Hell

25 Jul 2022, 10:31 am

klanka wrote:
Well, my theory on asthma is that it's a problem with acid or alkaline buffering in the person's body.

Mine gets better when I eat fruit&veg which are supposed to be alkaline forming foods. When I eat the acid forming foods by themselves too much (most other foods) I get short of breath. This doesnt happen with most people so I assume it must be a disability with regulating body PH.

If you contrast this with the mainstream view of what causes it, both sides could say the other are missing facts etc.


It could be the placebo effect.

Your improvement could be due to a different factor entirely.

It’s hard to say.


_________________
Away.


Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 57,004
Location: Stendec

25 Jul 2022, 10:34 am

The only things that trigger my asthma are dust, mildew/mold, pollen, smoke, and long-haired pet dander.



Edna3362
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,024
Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔

25 Jul 2022, 10:52 am

What kind of disagreements?

If it's about facts, it's not my responsibility to educate people -- it's my responsibility to discern and that's the end of it.
Why be in a place where I'm already the smartest person in the room when the goal is to grow?

If it's about beliefs, it's not my responsibility to convert anyone. I do not intend to save souls, I do not intend to condemn anyone.

If it's about preferences, you do you. If there are prices to pay, let them. Entirely my choice and discernment if it hurts others.

If it's about consequences, it's all subjective and circumstantial. Again, let them pay for one's own mistakes. If they get away with it, I'll learn from them.

If it's about reactions, that entirely depends on the other party but otherwise I'll move on in the end.


I'm not the source of ultimate knowledge and truth. :roll:
I'm not omniscient as much as I wish to be.

And I'm not as articulate to make firm rebuttals. I hate words regardless of my intent to agree and disagree with anything.


_________________
Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).


naturalplastic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,290
Location: temperate zone

25 Jul 2022, 11:41 am

What does this have to do with aspergers?

I wasnt aware that aspies deal with disagreement differently than do NTs.



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,395
Location: Cardiff, Wales

25 Jul 2022, 12:23 pm

Also I noticed hayfever goes away under the same circumstances.
I first noticed it because I was drinking dilute apple cider vinegar to deal with heartburn.

Apple cider vinegar forms alkaline in the body.
Then I noticed I wasn't sneezing as usual in the summer. So it can't be placebo cos I wasn't mentally expecting it to help.

So it's just belief at the end of the day because you can say 'theres no scientific evidence!!'
But my observation that I sneeze 100 times a day if I'm not eating the right thing has been proven to me, over and over again.

Back in the 1950's you could say there is a lack of evidence that smoking is bad, as doctor's were being paid to recommend smoking. So you can't expect scientific papers or doctors to know everything and get everything right.



Last edited by klanka on 25 Jul 2022, 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,864
Location: Small Town From Hell

25 Jul 2022, 12:26 pm

klanka wrote:
Also I noticed hayfever goes away under the same circumstances.
I first noticed it because I was drinking dilute apple cider vinegar to deal with heartburn.

Apple cider vinegar forms alkaline in the body.
Then I noticed I wasn't sneezing as usual in the summer. So it can't be placebo cos I wasn't mentally expecting it to help.

So it's just belief at the end of the day because you can cite scientific studies saying other things.


There’s no proof that apple cider vinegar does what you claim.

How do you know that it was the apple cider vinegar that helped you and not something else?

People tend to see patterns when there aren’t any.


_________________
Away.


Last edited by Twilightprincess on 25 Jul 2022, 12:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.