Narrow mindedness or lack of imagination?

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I'm a bit troubled and I'd like to see other people's opinions on this.

I've heard that some people with autism have narrow minded interests and opinions.

Personally I don't like to think of intelligent people as being narrow minded so I'm doing my best to look beyond this idea.

I also hate to use the empathy word as well because I just think it's a minefield. So I was thinking that maybe some people who seem to have "narrow minded" opinions about other people, cultures, gender etc might actually lack the imagination to see things from other people's positions.

I also don't like the thought of certain people being ignored or pushed out of discussions because even though they may have said or done something that on the surface might be offensive to certain groups, it has been said because the person lacks the imagination to see things that are outside of their own realm.

I'm just wondering what you guys think about this.

Thank you in advance

It's not exclusive to Aspies though.

OK so why don't you educate me and tell me how this narrow mindedness or lack of imagination has affected your life. I'm interested to understand it.

Myself or other people? In my experience most people I have met do not understand a group of people they're not a part of. We should all know that from the way we're so misunderstood by NTs. If NTs had more of an imagination then they would be more mindful about autism and mental health disorders.
In actual fact, I see more Aspies accepting and tolerating other people's differences than I do NTs. Most NTs seem to only be wired to understand or tolerate those that think like them, and I'm not just talking about Aspies they don't get, it's loads of groups. Some straight NTs can't understand gay people and some gay people even get bullied for being gay. Most (not all) NTs are quick to bully anyone who doesn't fit their standards.

But if an Aspie disagrees on something another person or group does...

A person may resist considering other points of view for various reasons. An Aspie may also tend to avoid the discomfort of confrontation or even uncertainty that can arise from differences. I am not sure this is "wrong".

It can be a bit complicated. My parents had the socially conservative values of the 1940s and 1950s, which I absorbed when growing up, and I feel that those are my core values to this day, as I don't like change and am limited in my capacity to adapt to it.

Nonetheless, I 'benefitted' from a grammar school and university education from the late 1960s to the early 1980s, and can appreciate and understand the liberal ideals and trends that emerged from the 60s onwards. I often feel though that my acquaintance with such things is intellectual or academic, rather than something I feel emotionally or in any kind of real sense.

Hence I can relate to reactionary, 'narrow-minded' people and liberal types at the same time, though in different ways. It's also complicated by the fact that many aspects of 'liberalism' have become rather illiberal in recent years....

Altogether a pretty mixed up situation, and I'm a pretty mixed up person. Hope this was useful, though maybe it's not, lol.

I can certainly relate to that. I've been on the receiving end of stereotyping and I would think that a lot of people have as well. Its not very nice. It doesn't upset me personally but it makes me feel frustrated because sometimes it feels like no matter how loud you shout or no matter how many times you try and educate certain people they are still stuck in there view.

But that can work both ways as well. At my last job I made a comment that I thought was a joke and it definitely was not meant maliciously. It was a stupid comment and I didn't even think it was insulting but the next thing I knew i was labelled as a racist.

I mean thinking about it now I was wrong. I shouldn't have said what I said even as a joke. It was thoughtless of me and I didn't see any further than myself in order to see that my words could and did insult a group of people.

That for me personally was an action that I carried out selfishly and without thought and it was because I didn't use my imagination in order to see how I might cause offence.

I don't see myself as being narrow minded but in that instance I definitely was.

I wanted and expected to be treated with respect. I wanted people to stop thinking about my adhd or whatever ever else. I wanted people to see me as a human being whether I'm male, female, gender neutral, trans or whoever but I wasn't willing to call a hijab a hijab and instead joked that it was hat.

I can accept that people saw me as being racist and I can learn from that for the future.

Sometimes it's not about woke or pc but it's simply about respect and understanding that it's not always about you but it's also about how you might make someone feel as a result of your own words or actions.

I think everyone sometimes slips out something that unintentionally offends somebody. Even I have, even though generally I do have filters that I know how what I'm saying will upset someone or not. As an impulsive person it is actually quite instinctive for me not to upset people unless I'm intending to. And yes, I have intentionally upset someone when I was jealous of them, because jealousy does get the better of me. At least I admit to that.

The things I can't always keep to myself are things that are supposed to be private (social taboo kind of thing) but even that's because I don't care whether people know or not. But generally I do worry about what other people think, strangers more so. Embarrassing myself in public isn't just something I can shrug off and get over, I can physically feel all those eyes staring and the judgemental body language. It's very real to me, even if other Aspies say "oh you'll never see them again, don't worry about it, they'll forget". That is not the point when you have social anxiety and are sensitive to the judgement of other people. When I'm in public I don't wish to be noticed.

I think calling it a letterbox is worse.

The important thing is you learnt from it and you were not being malicious (sorry, want to add more, but struggling with sentences more than usual today).

I also worry about what people think of me. I think everybody does. That's mainly the reason why I don't go shopping naked.

I also think it's nice to worry about the things that we say that may offend certain people. I mean like just think for a moment before we write and submit or before we blurt things out.

I mean if I went about with the attitude that the rules didn't apply to me. If I had the attitude that a woman is a woman and a man is a man and if you think you're gender neutral then that's your problem and not mine; then I would more than expect to be called out on that and I don't think I would be justified in then saying that I had been personally attacked.

When my incident at worked happened I couldn't understand why people were so upset. I didn't think it was so serious but a few years down the line I have reflected upon it and now I understand that as a white person I'm not the one who makes the rules on racism. I'm not the one who it affects so it was me who was in the wrong.

So now I think and try to imagine how a person might react before I speak my mind or even say what I believe to be a harmless joke.

I hate to think of myself as narrow minded. I'd rather say that I sometimes lack the imagination to understand how my actions and words might affect other people.

I know how my actions or opinions might affect others but that doesn't mean I have to tolerate everything. I'd never even heard of non-binary until a couple of years ago, on this site. I've never met a non-binary person in my offline life and everybody I do know actually feel the same way as me about it. Blokes at work stand there making racist and sexist jokes all the time and they'll ostracize you if you get offended. I'm one of few women there and I sometimes get treated differently because of it, not unfairly though. Like they'll assume I can't lift anything heavy because I'm a girl, stuff like that. Some even make jokes about women in front of me. I don't get offended. Although they're not intending on offending, I still could be offended by it, but I'm not.

I only get offended by things I'm ashamed of, like if I was treated differently because of being on the spectrum then I'll be mad because I hate autism. But I don't hate being a woman, half the population are women so I still feel normal being a woman.

If some people behave like insensitive jerks, it doesn’t mean that we should do the same.


Not all people feel just like you. Some have experienced significant amounts of bullying, harassment, or worse. It’s a good idea to be sensitive, especially regarding sensitive topics, to avoid triggering people or hurting their feelings. I would feel bad if I hurt someone’s feelings or triggered them in some way.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Aug 2022, 11:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Most Aspies seem to have the "that's their business, not mine, so I won't judge" attitude, but most NTs have the opposite attitude, which is "they're not like me, so I have the right to get freaked out and bully them". An NT will never be autistic so they don't really understand, or care, and won't want to if autism isn't affecting their lives. I've even been told that by Aspies here, that NTs don't need to understand us, but we have to understand them because they're the majority.
Same with non-binary people. I'm not non-binary, I've never met a non-binary person myself, so I don't need to understand non-binary.

I'm only doing what the NTs do. From what I gather, some NTs can make autistic people's lives a living hell. At least I'm not doing that to non-binary people.

Why are you stereotyping NTs? They aren’t all the same.

It seems like you are just imitating the behavior of some unpleasant people you know.

OK, I'm getting the feeling that this thread is aimed at me but that's OK because I'm leaving anyway.

I bet if I made this thread it would be deleted, but it's OK if other people do.

So, f**k this obstinate site, I'm going to Autism Forums. I've bidded farewell in a couple of threads today but nobody has bothered to say goodbye so that just shows where I'm wanted.

It's not aimed at you. If you post, people might respond to you because that's how conversation works.

It wouldn't be deleted because it's not breaking any of the rules.

No one wants you to leave. It just might be a good idea to think about what you post before posting, though. A short break from WP could be helpful.