Belonginness to a group, race, gender or age?

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I never felt belonginness to any race, ethnicity, religion even gender or an age. WP is probably going to be an exception. It seems so.

I have always thought on why there are sufferings on the world, human induced sufferings : wars, pollution of the nature, human factors in climate change, discrimination, any kind of fascism, sexism, ageism and etc. I feel that I am a millennium years old kid. I read too much and thought too.

When I realized I am biologically different that I have Asperger, I stopped trying to understand. Because I admitted I am not able to understand such things even if I am able to understand anything in math and science. I just try to be a good man who respect and protect nature with all its varieties: and fight for world to be a better place for all of creatures. But I know that I cannot make the world haven. I only know I am going to die as a good person who did not plunder nature resources with greed.

I also never understood why people worship for money. I always felt that I can make money whenever I want. But I want to learn anything about math and AI. I want to model human mind. I want to go beyond of borders. I want to live forever like Newton and Einstein.

Is there any one who feel like me? I have never been belonged to any of those things mentioned before. Even my mother and father, I see them as friends not as parents. I have never felt the feeling of being a child of a father and mother. Maybe that is why I am keen on freedom.

I love People. But I see them as if they are not fully evolved creatures who can intellectually grasp all sufferings are irrational and should be stopped by rational creatures.

I believe I am worth living. But the probability of that I can marry and reproduce is less than the probability of that sexist, racist, masculine, ageist and fascist people can reproduce.

So my kind will vanish. "Normal" people who define/mark any difference as abnormal will continue to loot/plunder the world. I guess this is a biological drive to reproduce or drive to perpetuate one's lineage.

Thanks for reading.

I guess I'm much the same. I'm aware that I'm white, male, English, etc., but I don't strongly identify with those groups or feel much sense of belonging with them. I used to identify quite strongly with hippies when I was younger, but eventually I began to think that even they were just individuals with various personalities, some of whom I got on with better than with people from other groups. I suppose I must have had a drive to feel I was part of some large group, picked the one that seemed best in tune with my ideology, and assumed that with them I'd at last found the "right planet." It was a good experience and I felt happier and more confident than I did in any other phase of my life, so I wouldn't underestimate the emotional and practical benefits of a sense of belonging. Just that I don't have much of that any more.

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I recently started quite a similar thread - you can see it in the link above I also never felt as someone belonging to some particular groups I'm assigned to, by very virtue of my being born into those - I am aware I'm a white Polish female and so on but I don't really identify with other representatives of said groups. One can offend them - I don't care because I don't feel like it is myself who is being offended.

I have read your thread. Thank you for letting me know. We are like each other except I can not see human body as a meat bag. When human do exercises, they seem perfect for me. I did this in the past and will do in the future. Of course, I respect fat people. Some of them suffer from illnesses and this cause being fat.

However, I love physically fit bodies and my own body. The texture of these bodies seems great, I am not a fun of masculinity. I am just talking on fitness.

But I always feel that I am something different than my body. I feel as if I am an observer of all universe including my body. And this is called depersonalization. But in your case, it is , I guess, called derealization. But sometimes these labels can be harmful or offensive. But if you want to get rid of the situation you are in , they may help.

I graduated from Psychological counseling but I do not do this job. Because I believe everything is biological. Nothing is Psychological ( may seem very extreme).

I like to watch attractive human bodies, too - as in, I like to look at the perfect bodies of bodybuilders, that's really fascinating that those people can achieve the peak of human physical condition But even the most perfect, strongest human bodies after some time, grow old and die - after the game, both the king and the pawn go into the same box, as the Italian proverb goes

I actually don't get the feeling that the world is real - or at least real enough for me. I am quite fascinated with the idea that an action can produce some sort of result - as if I was some sort of young child who plays with their toys - with this exception that my playing with those metaphorical toys - the one of an adult person with an adult brain and not the one of a toddler - is carried out on a much larger scale It's almost as if I played with the Sims from the popular video game, while interacting with other people from my environment - every action leads to the reaction, this reaction in turn leads to the whole fantastic world of so many different possibilities - I perceive this as some kind of great tree of possibilities, like a real tree with an infinite number of branches. Such a Terokh Jeruth tree from the Myst universe, to use another game metaphor When I do something, it's practically like I was a puppeteer, pulling the strings, the power behind the throne

How do you manage? I find everyone here gross and unrelatable (bunch of gigantic egos), but I cannot find any better place, so kinda stuck here...

The things we are dealing with affect our understanding of the world. For example, you said
"But even the most perfect, strongest human bodies after some time, grow old and die - after the game, both the king and the pawn go into the same box, as the Italian proverb goes"

It seems from your writings that you like the game and sci-fi world. Since they are more suitable for your understanding of the world. Even you gave an example from them.

I am dealing with mathematics. And I will give examples from it. The idea I just quoted above is close to the idea of entropy. The second law of the thermodynamics in physics. Everything goes from low entropy (stability) to high entropy (disorder).

But philosophically speaking, you start to look at things from the end. You started the death and end of the game (pawn and king example). But for me, this is not rational. For example, if you look at ends of most of the movies maybe you won't want to watch them. But starting from the start may change your idea.

I see my life as a function. I just try to keep my derivative positive. In the end, I will get what I want. There is no end in this function. I am trying to draw best function in the world. Time goes forever. If it does not, I see my life as a function with multivariable, and all partial derivatives lead me to the excellent places and ideas. If time does not go forever, I am using differentials,: I move along things with steps that near to zero. But since my derivatives are always positive, I see different things at each step I take.

You know when I was in high school, they taught me there is only one correct answer in math. But when I watch open courses of the best Universities in the world on the internet, I saw this assumption is wrong.

There are always answers. Only thing is some of them are better. Now I am running my life with math. It helps me understand so many things I struggle with.

"I did not , however, commit suicide. Because I wanted to know more of mathematics."

Bertant Russell

Ha ha ha. Level of agreement 100%.

If the posters are not of this world, then why are they here posting?

You may not identify with being white, black, male, female, religious, atheiest, old, young, OK. But damn sure when the privilege is in your best interest you'll be identifying, full stop.

I don't have much ego. I can't do the Stray Cat Strut

Seriously.....I have some connection: to being a Jew (non-religious), to being a Baby Boomer, to being an American, to hoping that I am a person who is expansive in thought. But I don't feel a symbiotic connection to any of these things.

How I manage?

First, just look at the probabilities. If I share my thoughts on mainstream platforms, most people will misunderstand them. Some will attack me. If I say these things in my country (an underdeveloped country for me), nationalist will claim that i am a terrorist and religious people (radical islamists) will claim that I am an infidel. But at least, these people (here) know that I have Asperger syndrome. We are more alike than NTs.

Second, you are overgeneralizing the problem. As you said " I find everyone here gross and unrelatable..."
There can be such people everywhere. But they are less here in number.

Third, sometimes I think that these people (here) should not be judge with the things you claimed, even if they do such behaviors. Because they were bullied and marginalized by people many times. And our brains change to protect us.

I don't need to identify as a human (icky) in order to take advantage of human privileges. I just mask as one.

I would like to find just one who is relatable. Just one cute cat. Or a dog. Or anything really. As long as I can find it cute, like me :3


I thought gigantic egos and cravings for external validation is just normal human trait?

I am sorry. But, this sentences do not make any sense. If your talking about even 99 percent of the world, you are at a wrong place. Because we are the minority. We are %1-2 of the population. The things you see as privilege may not be privilege for others.

I guess you jailed yourself in a dark room and forget where the door is. And you can not imagine the opposite thoughts of yours may have a probability of being true. Since you said "full stop.". Nobody will stop here. We all have rights to talk.

And to close this issue. I will give only an example to show how your idea can be harmful.

I encountered this idea before. For example, when I claimed that patriarchal system is evil and it affects not only women but man. Some claimed "if the power would be in the women's hands, they would probably do the same."
And even advocates of Hitler would probably thought in the same way, "if the Jews had the opportunity they would probably do the same."

Because they think, "privileges" are rational. So it justifies what you do to reach them. But all these things have lots of assumptions. What you assume leads you to where what it needs to be justified.

If I made any mistake sorry. This is not my native language. World is NOT a good place. But it can be. I am going to fight for it.

No, I did not mean that. I am sorry. I just wanted to say that if there are such behaviors (to some extent) in these people, they can be condoned. You know when a child says these things what would you think of? Some of us are millennium years old children. If you read some threads, you would probably see this.

Why are you here than?

I don't feel that I fit into any category, especially age and gender. I don't understand why there have to be so many categories and boxes, anyways.