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Aet1985
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09 Aug 2022, 1:53 pm

I apologize if I posted this before but what makes me so irritable and stressed with my aunt here? for example I feel I have no privacy, space, don't like stuff moved in my refrigerator, can not shower or use bathroom in peace. I get confused because when she is with her kids and grandkids they all love being in one house together, not really being apart physically, and call each other 3+ times a day and facetime. I on the other hand feel as if for six months out of the year I am ''watching'' everything, is it being on the spectrum? or am I just a ''arrogant jerk'' ?



Joe90
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09 Aug 2022, 2:30 pm

I don't know your personal circumstances with your aunt living with you, but what I can say is you're NOT being an arrogant jerk. It's OK to feel intruded when someone is living in your home because it can disrupt your life in a way.

Maybe you're a solitary person?


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CockneyRebel
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09 Aug 2022, 2:34 pm

I don't think that you're being a jerk at all.


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timf
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10 Aug 2022, 6:02 am

You might want to be careful because harboring resentment can build to bitterness. You might want to select one annoying thing and ask her if she might work together with you on reducing that. This might help you see her in a less annoying way as well.



Earthbound_Alien
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10 Aug 2022, 9:06 am

you like your own space and are not used to people living with you.

its ok to be frustrated x



AnonymousAnonymous
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17 Aug 2022, 6:33 pm

My NT sister and I can totally relate to this situation. Whenever our bigoted uncles visit without calling ahead of time, they enjoy wanting to know everything we've done since their previous visit. For example, when I am trying to some homework for a class, I lock my door in order to not be bothered, but they always win. :x

Example: "Hey you in there? You doing some homework or something?"

During one visit, they took me to a Burgerville and demanded if my NT sister found herself a man to be with. I know I have written this many times before, but our bigoted uncles believe that the spectrum isn't real, that the only way for a man to truly "man up" (spectrum and NT alike) is to enlist in the US Armed Forces immediately after graduating from high school, and that the only way for a woman to truly be happy is to settle down before doing anything else in her life.

As for you OP, you are absolutely not being a jerk, you just want people keep their distance from you.


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delvian
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17 Aug 2022, 8:31 pm

I agree with what the others have said.

Also seems like your aunt and her family may be a bit too close...calling 3+ times a day? Sounds potentially toxic to me. Look up "enmeshment".



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18 Aug 2022, 11:12 am

It's not unusual to find it a strain living with a relative who is one generation older than ourselves. I certainly wouldn't have liked it. Such people can assume more than their fair share of power and some of their ways might be annoyingly different to our own. And Aspies often find living with people difficult.