Do you make eye contact to info-dump?

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IsabellaLinton
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25 Aug 2022, 10:36 pm

I don't ever make eye contact.
I very rarely even make face contact.


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HeroOfHyrule
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25 Aug 2022, 11:38 pm

I try to make myself make occasional eye contact with people, though I probably do it a bit more when I infodump. I can't do eye contact that much though, and the longer any conversation gets the less frequently I am able to make eye contact w/o getting anxiety.



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25 Aug 2022, 11:58 pm

No, I really only make eye contact if I am for sure comfortable with a person, which most people in general I am not that comfortable with.


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naturalplastic
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26 Aug 2022, 12:11 am

Not sure I understand the question.

Do I make eye contact while I ...monologue on my encyclopedic knowledge about the history of zeppelin airships?

But NOT make eye contact while making small talk about the weather, or when having a practical conversation?

I dunno. Never took notice.

I have gotten better at eye contact in my old age. But havent pegged it to specific kinds of conversations.



Dillogic
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26 Aug 2022, 1:40 am

As others have mentioned, I only really make eye contact with people I'm comfortable with. Which is two people. I've been this way as far back as I can remember. I'll still often look entirely away from those I'm comfortable with when I'm talking, as eye contact or even just glancing in their direction during such is distracting and makes it even harder to verbalize thoughts than it already is.



IsabellaLinton
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26 Aug 2022, 1:42 am

I don't even try making eye contact.
I forget it even exists until people mention it on here.

I likely freak people out all day long.


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HeroOfHyrule
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26 Aug 2022, 1:48 am

I can make eye contact for a bit longer with people that I'm comfortable with, but I still eventually get anxiety and end up avoiding even looking at their face.



IsabellaLinton
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26 Aug 2022, 2:05 am

I don't infodump verbally either, because of mutism.
The only time I infodump is in written form.


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traven
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26 Aug 2022, 2:32 am

the opposite,
when you make eye contact they use it as a start of dumping whatever(), some get really possesive about it and crawl themselfs back into your eye by force, i find it weird, disturbing, and hilarious
- the more i try to get away the harder they force <the thing>
worse: a person driving the car and wanting to be in my face, i say; mind the road, the in-my-face intensifies, i cringe and fear and despaire
it's some weird power move??? while drive of a cliff?
really, really, you'all need that much confirmation- i don't understand??
the "hint" of not making any (encouraging) eyecontact definately gets dismissed

the worse when they shove bodyparts to examine, in my face, no i don't want to see that
:jester: :jester:




someone got to that somewhat, different attachment styles
therapy-in-seattle i think, but still, it's very weird



CockneyRebel
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26 Aug 2022, 3:34 pm

I haven't really info dumped since I was 10. I had it drummed into my head by my mum not to talk about my favourite things.


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KitLily
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27 Aug 2022, 7:24 am

I think I'm the opposite of people here because I make too much eye contact. I am always carefully watching people to see what they will do next and if they want to talk to me. They don't like it and often look away, so I've learned it's better not to make eye contact except briefly.


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HeroOfHyrule
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27 Aug 2022, 7:35 am

KitLily wrote:
I think I'm the opposite of people here because I make too much eye contact. I am always carefully watching people to see what they will do next and if they want to talk to me. They don't like it and often look away, so I've learned it's better not to make eye contact except briefly.

I actually watch people a lot (if they're farther away from me), usually unintentionally. When I started working I stared at my coworkers a lot just because I was curious about what they were doing (the way they did their job, how they were interacting with other coworkers, how they navigate the factory, etc.) and if it was anything useful for me to pay attention to. Some of them gave me weird looks, but it's pretty obvious that I have a developmental delay + am socially inept, so if I accidentally do that no one cares now. I do get embarrassed if I notice myself staring at people, but this people watching habit is the only way I really learn from other people. I also don't make eye contact with anyone, and if they make eye contact with me I stop staring at them.



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27 Aug 2022, 3:28 pm

This is interesting question and not something I had to reflect on. I think it can be variable for me. If I am info dumping with people who I do not know well, I tend to make more eye contact but that is more because I know I should. If it is with people I am more comfortable with and know well, I actually do not make much eye contact. When I am talking like that, I like to be able to look around and not make eye contact as I think it actually helps me process information and is part of my thinking process.



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28 Aug 2022, 4:10 am

Regulan wrote:
I am quite anxious because two of these friends are coming to visit me in a few days and I am telling myself that I won't speak about archeoastronomy or deep psychology and what I have discovered that could make Carl Jung' s archetypes actually work and why they don't. :oops:

Hopefully you'll eventually find some friends who actually share one or more of your interests in archeoastronomy, deep psychology, etc.?

(Here on Wrong Planet, I would suggest that you edit your profile to add a signature line that mentions these interests.)


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KitLily
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28 Aug 2022, 7:09 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I actually watch people a lot (if they're farther away from me), usually unintentionally. When I started working I stared at my coworkers a lot just because I was curious about what they were doing (the way they did their job, how they were interacting with other coworkers, how they navigate the factory, etc.) and if it was anything useful for me to pay attention to. Some of them gave me weird looks, but it's pretty obvious that I have a developmental delay + am socially inept, so if I accidentally do that no one cares now. I do get embarrassed if I notice myself staring at people, but this people watching habit is the only way I really learn from other people. I also don't make eye contact with anyone, and if they make eye contact with me I stop staring at them.


That sounds familiar to me. I want to know what people are doing, so I look at them.

I don't know if I come across as having any developmental delay/being socially inept. I don't think I do, so people just think I'm rude/weird. When I was young I was thought to be quirky and charming. Now I'm in my 50s, people don't think that anymore. I'm just a weird old woman :?


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jimmy m
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28 Aug 2022, 9:46 pm

One other thing to note is the time frame of eye to eye contact. This issue is very important, during the teen years. Once I passed the age of 20, it seemed that the hostility towards other males who do not provide eye to eye contact became less of an issue.

I suspect that individuals past the age of 20 pay less attention to the failure to make eye to eye contact. But in general the damage is already done. So many males experience mental and physical attacks for many decades after they stop.

I also suspect that females are not subjected to these attacks in the same way as males. Experiencing three years of day to day endless attacks could have caused significant damage to my mentality. But in my case it didn't reach a point where I couldn't overcome and restore.


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