Being Focused on What You Want/Repetitiveness

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Hi, all. Well, it seems like I can't go to one of my fave anime convention this November; mostly because my dad is away on vacation, and my mom is afraid of being left alone for a whole weekend, despite the fact we live in a good area. Yeah, I wanted to go, but I guess I gotta know when not to be selfish. I wanted to go because of my anxiety ATM.

So, I will try and visit Japan in June 2023. 18 years after I missed the cut to go there in high school, I'm finally making it happen.

On that note, is it common for us on the spectrum to be repetitive like this, until you get your way? And are we also so uncompromising in what we want like that? I'd like to hear from you all.

What is your mother afraid of?
She can't spend a weekend without your dad home?
Can she go with you to the convention?

You aren't repetitive or uncompromising.
You're a grown man and should be able to do your own thing.

I hope you get to go to Japan!

I don't see why it's more appropriate for you to give up your leisure plans to look after your mother than it is for your dad to give up his to look after his wife, if she truly can't be left alone for a while.

his mum could be elderly and no i dont think autism comes into this i mean if you want to do something you will do it i think nt would do the same

I also ask this as well:

I don't know. In my case, I used to get rather fixated on the things I wanted when I was a child, and there's some evidence that I did that more than other kids. When I was about 9, the kid across the road said he'd give me an accessory for my bike if we could get it to fit, but it didn't, so he withdrew the offer, and I kept suggesting various desperate measures to make it fit, and eventually he said (not unkindly) "you take things too badly." I didn't think that was it, and I still don't. I just find it hard to give up when my mind is set on a particular result. Doesn't matter if it's for me or for somebody else. Nothing to do with selfishness. It can be a problem, but also an asset because it means I achieve things more often. These days I'm probably more able to abandon things that aren't likely to work out.

I hear the US is a very scary country where violent crimes happen all the time with the guns circulating uncontrollably. However, even with you or your father around, your mum isn't that much safer. You might as well go to that convention, unless your mum has a serious health problem that requires close attention.

You don't seem repetitive or uncompromising from what you wrote in your post... What do you mean? I personally believe that repetitiveness is part of autism. I am very comfortable having repetitive routines. I also don't compromise too easily. I do things my way even if others think it's weird or something because it's not their business. I think those traits are very common in autistic people.

I'd love to go to Japan, too. I hope you enjoy it!