Selective Mutism

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Selective mutism, I had it as a child, is really the other way round. It is worse at the start of any interaction, or when in a new situation and tends to improve over time, as one becomes habituated and less anxious. Of course the time taken can be very long. My first bout of selective mutism, when I started school, lasted 3 months. During that time I said nothing at all when at school, I was unable to.

Yes it sounds more like fatigue than selective mutism to me. When I'm selectively mute I can't start to speak - if I do get started I'm more likely to find it hard to stop. I've never had a job like that so I'm not familiar with the effects. I'd probably hate it because when I'm shopping I just want the staff to leave me alone unless I ask them for something.

With a bit of luck you'll get used to the task and be able to concoct some kind of a script that you can use every time. Depends how repetitive the task is though.

I'm diagnosed with Selective Mutism. Mine is different because it happens at random, and more times than not. It usually prevents me from speaking at all, as opposed to shutting down after I've started. Some speech-language pathologists consider SM a manifestation of anxiety and they believe it needs to be treated by psychologists. When I've gone to psychologists, however, they say it's a developmental delay / block, which requires speech pathology. I don't know which it "needs" because I've had SLP on and off since childhood until recently, and it didn't help. I've also tried psych for SM / anxiety, and that didn't help.

Most of the literature suggests SM happens most often in places where the person is less secure or familiar, like at school or work. They say the person usually speaks a lot at home with their parents or siblings. I was the opposite because I spoke fairly well in public or with strangers, even though I might have felt nervous. I spoke for my career. I've always experienced SM at home or with people I knew well, including my own mother.

I'm not an expert on SM but from what you've described it sounds like a physical or sensory shutdown. I get those on top of SM. When shutdowns happen it usually means my senses are overloading by hearing my own voice, or from hearing voices at all. I just want peace and quiet. I have misophonia and voices are one thing that I can't stand when my senses are on edge. My brain always goes faster than my speech and I become aware of that delay, so I start confusing my words or going off topic. My mouth gets tired from forming words. My thoughts get tired from choosing the right vernacular, tone, volume or pitch. The whole thing just gets exhausting. If I'm on display speaking like a trained monkey and having to use eye contact or gestures and facial expressions, I start to feel self-conscious. That makes me turn inward. When that happens all I can hear is my inner dialogue. I check out from reality and dissociate, like I'm not even in the location. At that point there's no point in speaking because my brain can't keep up and I have no physical strength for articulating thoughts. I need to be alone without a need for speech. I call those shutdowns. They happen in public but also with loved ones. I can be talking to someone special like a friend or my partner, but when the switch flips I'm done and can't speak anymore.

My meltdowns aren't from a buildup of stress, unless you're referring to sensory stress. When I'm hyperstimulated I have meltdowns as a form of fight / flight response to avoid the stimuli. I have to purge the discomfort of that sensory overwhelm from my limbic system. In contrast regular stress or anxiety might make me go primal for a moment or two, but it's nothing like a meltdown.

Running a 50 yard dash is entirely counterproductive in my case. I know everyone is different, but I have agoraphobia and scopophobia. There's no way I'd dash 50 yards anywhere without tremendous anxiety about being outdoors or being seen. Most people don't have 50 yards at their disposal even if they aren't scopophobic. When I have meltdowns or even when I feel them coming on, I need a reduction in activity and movement so I can detach from my surroundings instead of running through them or creating more energy, even if it's in the form of a release. I usually have a wee freak-out and then roll into a ball or go silent and still, ideally in the dark. I have to get away from people rather than running around drawing attention to myself, which would give me a panic attack and make things 10x worse.

Have you ever tried the methods used by the Navy Seal teams?

Which methods are those? ^

good to know. it's very socially driven. my physical and verbal skills suffer

IsabellaLinton asked Which methods are those?

I wrote earlier:

When’s the last time you paid attention to your breath? Most of us take it for granted and don’t stop to think how deeply we inhale or exhale. But most of us also survive on shallow breaths that have us living on edge constantly.

Controlled breathing is the fastest, most effective way to trigger the relaxation response.

“We take better care of our phones than ourselves,” says Everatt. “When our phone battery goes from green to red, we immediately stop and recharge. But when our own bodies go into the red zone, we push through. Living in the red zone means living in a zone of depletion where we’re more susceptible to burnout, anxiety, or depression.”

The Navy SEALs use two breathing techniques that force the body into a more relaxed state when they’re in a high-pressure situation.

Tactical breathing

“Tactical breathing” is a technique to use when you feel yourself having a fight-or-flight response. It involves all your breathing muscles–from chest to belly.

Here’s how it works: Place your right hand on your belly, pushing out with a big exhale. Then breathe in through your nostrils, slowly drawing the breath upward from your belly to your upper chest.

Pause and exhale, starting from your chest and moving downward to the air in your belly. Imagine your belly button touching your spine.

Once you’re comfortable with a full, deep breath, repeat it, this time making the exhale twice as long as the length of the inhale. For example, inhale to the count of four, pause briefly, and exhale to the count of eight. Repeat three times.

Box breathing

The second Navy SEAL technique is called “box breathing,” and it’s meant to ground you, sharpen your concentration, and leave you feeling alert but calm. It uses the tactical breath technique over a longer period of time in a “box pattern.” You inhale, hold, exhale, hold–each for the same duration.

Start by pushing the air out of your chest, keeping your lungs empty for the count of four. Then start the tactical breathing, inhaling through your nose for a count of four, drawing air into your belly and moving up into your chest. Hold the air in your lungs for a count of four.

The movement should feel fluid and open; don’t clamp down at the back of your throat. Exhale smoothly, starting at the chest and moving to the belly, for four slow counts. Complete the box with a pause of four before beginning another repetition.

Continue this technique for five minutes, building your breath strength by using your full range of breathing muscles as you draw in and push out breath.

Source: These Navy SEAL tricks will help you perform better under pressure