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Gammeldans
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08 Mar 2023, 4:05 am

I've been thinking lot about silly acting games.
Many of them are the improv exercises.
To me "let's do inprov exercises" sounds a bit like "let's not focus on skills training! You already have the skills!".
I tried theatre games and I started thinking.
When learning social skills you are often told to go into social situations and improvise.

I dislike all of this!

Do we learn social skills by going into social situations and improvise?

I know of aspies who like improv (both in drama and social situations). I think they just like the fact that it let's them be silly.
Perhaps being silly is something that we must be good at? Is being silly very important?



Dear_one
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08 Mar 2023, 5:19 am

Silly does not work for everyone, but as long as it leads to a shared laugh, I'm in favour. I wouldn't wear silly clothing on normal occasions, but I treasure times like when I was in a meeting where the chairperson had briefly lost control to two independent conversations. We happened to be meeting in a Catholic school room, giving a whiff of sanctity to the affair. I leaned over to the guy sitting next to me, who I didn't know, and asked "Wanna go for a beer?" The astonishment on his wife's face was priceless. None of us were drinkers. In costume, the opportunities are far greater.



Gammeldans
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08 Mar 2023, 5:45 am

Dear_one wrote:
Silly does not work for everyone, but as long as it leads to a shared laugh, I'm in favour. I wouldn't wear silly clothing on normal occasions, but I treasure times like when I was in a meeting where the chairperson had briefly lost control to two independent conversations. We happened to be meeting in a Catholic school room, giving a whiff of sanctity to the affair. I leaned over to the guy sitting next to me, who I didn't know, and asked "Wanna go for a beer?" The astonishment on his wife's face was priceless. None of us were drinkers. In costume, the opportunities are far greater.

So put on a costume in social situation?

I hear a lot about how doing silly exercices in a group is an icebreaker.
In fact it makes it worse for me a lot of the times.
I think doing "fun" exercises won't work for many of us. Why? Because you are not personal with the other person(s).
It is a bit like talking about the weather. I do that mostly when I feel comfortable with the person.
I do it the other way around. Small talk does not really lead me to being comfortable. It is more of a feaction of me being comfortable.
I am probably really weird.

I think for many of the NT guys groups are so much easier than meeting one on one. It can be the opposite for us.
I was told this by a professional who knows much about this.

Team building exercices are also a lot about being silly. I think it is better tonwork on a real problem than trying to have fun.
I guess I am that weird guy who cannot see having a fun time solves problems.



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08 Mar 2023, 9:08 am

One of the more interesting movies of 2021 was called Free Guy. We have multiple brains buried deep inside us. The left side of our brain is normally our daytime brain. The right side is our nighttime brain. This brain exist in our dream state. This video describes what happens when both sides meet. A very unique movie.

Free Guy


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08 Mar 2023, 10:35 am

Put on a costume for a costume party. Ordinarily, silliness should be comic relief, not a chronic condition.
Those team building exercises just alienate me. They are supposed to build on a whole constellation of earlier experiences I lack. They often assume familiarity with sports or TV, and don't respect introverts at all.



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08 Mar 2023, 12:02 pm

I did not learn I had an Autism Spectrum Disorder until 2019 but long before that I figured out I wasn't good at social interactions. I discovered that dry, often absurd, humor is a good way to lubricate social situations. If I can start things by getting someone to smile or chuckle then things seem to go smoother.


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08 Mar 2023, 12:26 pm

^^ Exactly! Sometimes, if people think I'm odd, I'll exaggerate it and laugh with them. It really establishes common understanding.
Another time, I was scrutineering in a polling station for the losing party, so I was with mostly mildly hostile strangers. Then, I allowed a ballot that had actually been spoiled by being corrected, with the remark that "It seems pretty clear - at least they didn't initial it" - which would have been a bigger violation.
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08 Mar 2023, 1:24 pm

Being silly is not very important at all.

Look up the definition of silly. Search on Google for synonyms of silly. Under ordinary circumstances being silly is not something to aspire to.



Gammeldans
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08 Mar 2023, 1:26 pm

Double Retired wrote:
I did not learn I had an Autism Spectrum Disorder until 2019 but long before that I figured out I wasn't good at social interactions. I discovered that dry, often absurd, humor is a good way to lubricate social situations. If I can start things by getting someone to smile or chuckle then things seem to go smoother.

I find that humour can be an obstacle.
We have a staff at a place for people with ASD who uses silly humour. He told me he likes dry humour.
I find that for some his use of silly humour helps him establish relationships with people but it doesn't work very well with me.
I think humour for me comes later on n a relationship. Also, I am not a big fan of dry comedy.



Gammeldans
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08 Mar 2023, 1:31 pm

rse92 wrote:
Being silly is not very important at all.

Look up the definition of silly. Search on Google for synonyms of silly. Under ordinary circumstances being silly is not something to aspire to.

I am talking about being silly as in doing what people call icebreakers ie doing silly group exercises in order to feel more comfortable in the group or using silly hunour when establishing relationships with people.



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08 Mar 2023, 1:45 pm

In early reviews, Monty Python was called "madcap" "offensive" and various other things, but what made them stand out was their own test for what to present. "Is it silly?" There had been a drought. John Cleese says that the most hysterical laughter he ever heard was over the first parodies of the Church of England.



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08 Mar 2023, 1:49 pm

I don't know about ice breakers. I can't speak on those.

From my own experiences, people seem to find me non-threatening. I'm not entirely sure why. I mean, I'm quiet, weird looking, have a flat affect (seriously, I think most pictures of me look like I might be hiding bodies in the basement), so on. I have things about me that are typically considered off-putting. But people, by large, seem to tolerate me and occasionally like me and want to talk to me. I think it's in part because I am such a freakin weirdo. I do and say weird crap and people seem to get a kick out of it. I think I might get a free pass on a lot of my stuff because a lot of what I say and do is silly. I think it works for me as a way of life. I dunno. I might be wrong and oblivious here, but I really think there might something to it.



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08 Mar 2023, 2:02 pm

^^ I get some of that, too. Because I'm a bit eccentric, and not in a position to gossip, people are prone to sharing things about themselves they seldom talk about. Even my physiotherapist would discuss her life plans. None of it seemed weird compared to what I was dealing with. The odd bit is that after telling me all about themselves, people think they know me better. At least, they know I don't go "Ewww!"



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08 Mar 2023, 2:09 pm

Dear_one wrote:
^^ I get some of that, too. Because I'm a bit eccentric, and not in a position to gossip, people are prone to sharing things about themselves they seldom talk about. Even my physiotherapist would discuss her life plans. None of it seemed weird compared to what I was dealing with. The odd bit is that after telling me all about themselves, people think they know me better. At least, they know I don't go "Ewww!"

Some people with ASD seem to be thought of as great listeners. I don't know why.
There is a reason why some people with ASD become psychologists.



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08 Mar 2023, 2:17 pm

jimmy m wrote:
One of the more interesting movies of 2021 was called Free Guy. We have multiple brains buried deep inside us. The left side of our brain is normally our daytime brain. The right side is our nighttime brain. This brain exist in our dream state. This video describes what happens when both sides meet. A very unique movie.

Free Guy
One of our favorite movies!


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08 Mar 2023, 2:20 pm

Dear_one wrote:
^^ I get some of that, too. Because I'm a bit eccentric, and not in a position to gossip, people are prone to sharing things about themselves they seldom talk about. Even my physiotherapist would discuss her life plans. None of it seemed weird compared to what I was dealing with. The odd bit is that after telling me all about themselves, people think they know me better. At least, they know I don't go "Ewww!"


Yep. I get that to. People tend to overshare with me. I figure it's because I'm not a judge-y type of person. I just roll with stuff. I don't care for gossip either, so maybe they pick up on that and see it as safe?

And agreed. I find that odd that people seem to think they know me well after they spend time talking. I mean, if it makes them feel better, more power to them and I'm glad to have been of assistance, but I never do get how them speaking means better understanding of me. But it does. Go figure. People can be bizarre.