do you guys mostly socialize online, too?
I grew up using the internet to socialize.
Being a homeschooled teen with a physically disabled parent with gigantic support needs, we were at home a lot. And when we DID go out (at least a few times a week for homeschool meetings and sometimes outings or field trips), I wasn't socializing with the people my age.... I was socializing with the younger kids. I didn't want to grow up, and my interests were probably more aligned with the younger children anyways.
Online I talked way more and interacted way more with either people my own age or older, using forums. I was considered an internet junkie by my parents. I wouldn't say that socialization was my main goal, as I didn't enjoy instant messaging too much. I did enjoy talking on the public forums for sure.
What about you?
_________________
ASD, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well. Also dx'd ADHD-C, but don't think it's accurate.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)
Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD
The first time I used the internet I already had children.
I never even heard of forums until I joined WP in 2017.
I don't do social media.
Most of my socialising is done online regardless.
I don't remember enjoying any real life social events ever.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I was also homeschooled so yeah the internet was really my main outlet for social outside of family members. Though I've never had an easy time communicating online either. I remember having meltdowns as a teen because my parents wanted to take the internet away. It was so intertwined with my ideas about having friends I just.couldn't fathom doing without it.
Double Retired
Veteran
Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,250
Location: U.S.A. (Mid-Atlantic)
I'm old. I predate things like Facebook and Twitter. And the Internet. And personal computers.
I worked in computer security and have a very strong introversion preference. So, I am suspicious of computers and the Internet and the only socializing I do online is Wrong Planet...and a very small amount of e-mail.
Before the Pandemic my limited social life was predominantly associated with Mensa. Then the Pandemic gave me an excuse to limit my socializing mostly to my bride.
She is ADHD and less introverted than I. The Pandemic looms less large now and we're very vaccinated. The walls between me and the world are weakening.
_________________
When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.
Socialising online is easier regarding time. Offline I socialise at work, or with family (at weekends), and occasionally I'll meet up with a friend or telephone them.
Does telephoning count as online or offline socialising? I speak to my aunt every day on the phone. I guess it counts as offline.
But I do socialise online more, or through texting. I think if I wasn't online I'd probably go out more to socialise. As long as I'm socialising in some way I am happy. My agoraphobia and poor time management just makes going out to socialise much harder.
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Female
a lot of elderly passengers like me and sometimes have a chat
and living with neurotypicals i have no choice but to socialise when their friends are round
sometimes i go out on dinner dates with my partner or to a bar but i dont do it to socialise i do it because i love dressing up and looking beautiful
the only place i choose to socialise is on this site
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Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.
When I was living with my mom, I was in my 20s, I didn’t go out too much, I didn’t have friends, I socialized with people online, it was easy for me. I had a meltdown when my mom took my internet time away, I was sharing a computer with her.
yes, on line and in print are my 2 favorite modes of communication, even texting/messagiing is too fast for my processing. It is much easier to use groups like this one, Facebook, and a couple other on line locations to interact because my visual processing and audio processing always leave me behind in any interaction (no tele communications, video or audio for me!, no youtube, no podcasts unless they have captioning or transcripts, even then if there is motion behind the script, it makes me motion sick. Having the internet has been a huge blessing for me. I remember the days before the internet, a lot more misery and lack of understanding about just everything. But then again I did not get diagnosis until the age of 68. Self accommodations and self understanding/ self forgiveness have been a miracle for me. What a difference before vs after diagnosis. Its never too late.
_________________
https://oldladywithautism.blog/
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson
I was very shy too, more shy cuz of my speech (I have Cerebral Pasly) I couldn’t make friends in school, I didn’t know how to make friends in elementary school, so I mostly quiet at school. When I moved on my own a second time, when I needed help, I was shy to go to my neighbors for help. I made friends with my other neighbors, a woman, her husband was nice too, I held a conversation with him, it was the first time. I was friends with her for a long time, I even had dinner at her apartment, her apartment was next door, we ended our friendship, she & her husband moved then started a family.
Yes, people around here are quite busy, so even if I do make friends, it can be a challenge to meet up in person. That being said, being friends with people online puts me on a more even playing field with other people. There's no facial expressions and body language to deal with and I can take my time to compose my messages if I like. And cancel them if I can't form the message I want.
Exactly! I think this is why I prefer online stuff, without having exactly realized the specifics.
Even then, I have a lot of aversion even to online stuff these days. (Oh hello, it's my fear of being known due to bad experiences again.)
_________________
ASD, most likely have dyscalculia & BPD as well. Also dx'd ADHD-C, but don't think it's accurate.
RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)
Also diagnosed with: seasonal depression, anxiety, OCD
purplepuffin
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 26 Mar 2023
Gender: Female
Posts: 51
Location: Australia
When I was a teenager absolutely. I had the best time on a forum and on Yahoo messenger chats and later MSN messenger. Was very lonely and had no idea how to make IRL friends.
On and off the rest of the time. Though in the last few years I have learned to not care about how people perceive me and have managed to make a couple of friends. So don't socialise online nearly as much.
I mostly socialize online and have since I was around 10-11 y.o. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere outside of school, or even just legit go outside much, so I didn't interact with people aside from my immediate family that often. Once I started talking to people online it became my main form of socialization, and it's now the only one I can actually tolerate w/o getting severe, disabling social anxiety.
Yes!
Even people who I see in real life I enjoy “socializing” with by internet. I am also old. I am more likely to email you.
I love that nobody has tone or facial expressions or body language. People are more likely to be clear about what they mean or ok with you asking for clarification. The words hold still and let me process at my own speed. My words wait patiently for me to read back over them and think about them before sharing. Sometimes I will write very long posts, and then read them, and then delete most or all of them before posting.
Real life doesn’t give me that option.
Exactly! I think this is why I prefer online stuff, without having exactly realized the specifics.
Even then, I have a lot of aversion even to online stuff these days. (Oh hello, it's my fear of being known due to bad experiences again.)
I also like the fact that as long as you don't post things that are too personal, you can just escape and rejoin the same forum a bit later with pretty much just the mods knowing. And even there, there's only so much they're willing to care as long as you're not evading a ban or causing trouble.
OTOH, some of the worst bullying I've dealt with since grade school was one of those asinine fitness fora where somebody that it was a great idea to let people tag other people with the reasons for the derepping. I saw the forum go from a pretty civil place where people were sharing generally helpful to the worst haven of scum and villainy this side of Mos Eisly in a matter of like 3 days.Literally, I was on the site for less than a week and it fell apart that quickly.
But, I hadn't posted any personal information, so I just killed the account and moved on.
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