My Nephew

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Hello,
I have twin nephews who are 5 years old. My one nephew displays what we believe may be signs of Asperger's from some of the symptoms we've read about on websites. These are his "symptoms". (some of which I'm not sure if they pertain to any forms of autism or not)

-clumsy and has trouble walking up and down stairs and with running

-problems socially interacting with children and adults (gets into fights, screams, hits) and likes to play alone more often then most other children because he doesn't seem to understand the concept of sharing/taking turns

-repeats himself like "I don't want to do that, I don't" "I can't go there, I can't"

-very sensitive to sounds and loves the way things feel like soft things and likes to look at pretty things like jewelry for a long time and touch it (as a baby, he would hold my necklaces and stare at them for an extremely long time, very content)

-if he is looking/interested in something it is very hard to get him to go do what he should be doing wihtout a meltdown (like in school)

-seemed to be going through a puberty period at the age of 4 and is much larger than most kids his age (but his father is over 6'4)

He has been kicked out of well over 7 daycares because of his behavior. He went to a school that is meant to help diagnose/treat children with problems like his, but the results were poor. They believed he has sensory integration issues and ADHD but his behavior seemed to get a tad worse there and nothing came of it.

He has now started kindergarten. Yesterday was his 4th day there and he had two "meltdowns". The first one, he was in a chair that he didn't want to get out of and he didn't want to do the activity they were doing so he ran around the room tearing things from the bulliten boards and pushing tables (hurting a girl) and screaming. The second one happened in a music class after he was looking at instruments and the teacher asked him to sit down iwth the rest of the students. He did the same thing as before and they had to clear the classroom to remove him safely (to not harm others). His first 3 days at the school went really well however without incident.

He went to another doctor before school started and they are trying to set up some tests. I came on here to see some of your opinions on his actions because we are trying to get a better idea of what to have the doctors try to test for and focus on.

(a side note: his father is not in his life, was a very violent person and he and my sister had a very violent relationship with lots of yelling when the boys were babies. He witnessed his dad hit his new girlfriend about a year ago....just wanted to give a brief background)

He's such a smart and wonderful little man and we all love him dearly. I would just love to help him understand things and to be successful. Any opinions or advice you could give will be greatly appreciated!

It sounds like he could very well be on the spectrum. I'm hesitant to guess where. You didn't mention if he has any speech delays, which makes a pretty big difference with the diagnosis. In addition to getting him tested I would also request (in writing) that the school test him to qualify for special ed. He obviously needs some supports in the classroom. A picture schedule, and other visual cues would greatly reduce his meltdowns during times of transitions. He needs to know what to expect. I have a 5 yo that just started kindergarten that sounds very much like your nephew. He has a visual schedule that tells him what he's doing that day, and when he's done with an activity he gets to remove it, and put it in the "done" box. He also has a work folder system that tells him how much work, and for how long. It's important to most kids on the spectrum to know what to expect, be informed, and feel as if they have some control over their enviroment. Since your nephew seems higher functioning, I would try to bring as much info about him as I could to the appiontment. Videos of his stims, meltdowns, odd speech patterns, along with anything else that might help the doctor get a clearer picture of how he is everyday. Sometimes, my son can present himself very well in short time periods. I was always afraid that he'd put on his best face to see the doctor, and not get the right diagnosis, or the help from school that he so desperately needs. Bringing in the videos, written accounts, and pictures will help with that. If you would like some links or advice about talking to the school ect.. feel free to pm me.

Thank you very much for your suggestions and pm offer! Those are great ideas, especially the videotaping.

He doesn't have any speech delays that I'm aware of. My mom was just telling me about the visual schedule because she just heard about it from someone else. We also fear that he is putting on his best face for the doctor. His new teacher just told my sister "the honeymoon's over, we now see the real boy" after his meltdowns yesterday. I'm definitely going to suggest she add the videotaping to the other accounts she has kept.