Do you prefer relationships with aspies to NTs? And no, I'm not talking about "romantic relationships," but relationships in the general sense. Friends, acquaintances, etc.
I don't know my own preference, because I don't personally know any aspies.
In one hand you could imagine an aspie to aspie relationship being better because they both have the same condition. They both speak the same language and don't operate on body language, but they operate on explicit communication. They're more likely to understand each other because they're similar in that they're aspies.
In the other, you might imagine an aspie to aspie relationship being even worse than an aspie to NT relationship because both individuals are lacking in social skill, not just one. For example, I remember reading in another thread that many people here say that NTs find them aggressive and particularly rude or angry. What if other aspies get the same signals and think the other aspie is angry, rude, etc. as well? And so they both end up thinking they hate each other. In other words, the lack of social skill among the two individuals combines and makes a whole shit-mess of a situation.
Actually, come to think of it, I do think I know/have known a few aspies in the real world. My dad, I suspect is an aspie and one kid from my previous college was a diagnosed and very conspicuous aspie. My relationship with my dad is okay, and has actually improved since I've learned about Asperger's Syndrome. I feel like I really understand him. He's more of a domineering personality and likes to talk, talk, talk. I'm more of a laconic aspie. I usually like to listen though, because he knows a lot about history and many other things. He's quite an adept fact collector, and I suppose we have that bit in common; we're both readers and value education and knowledge.
The other guy, Jason, with whom I went to college is an okay guy too. Doesn't really have friends and he definitely has that aspie look about him. You could practically guess he's an aspie just by looking at him. He was pretty egocentric, it appeared, would talk very loudly, and make a lot of strange comments when we were playing games in the game club. Everybody laughed at him. He was not a dumb kid either (he's supposedly a member of Mensa--so he at least has a good IQ), so he must have known and somehow didn't care that all the laughing and jokes were at his expense. Where the hell is the dignity? I thought. I remember I corrected him once in class when he was giving a presentation. He said as the laser in a CD-ROM with a constant information input rate moves to the outer part of the disc, the motor spinning to disc speeds up. I corrected him and said it slowed down. He said I was wrong. I told him to look it up. (I know you don't have to look it up, but only actually think about it in your mind.) But we did, and I was right. He was visibly upset about it and acted quite childish.
I've talked to him other times and he's not a bad guy. But I wouldn't say he's the kind of guy whom I'd want to befriend. But then again, I'm not really into befriending people. I like being by myself. I guess, it's more important for my friends to have the same interests me than to have the same neurological defect.
What are your thoughts on this matter? Do you prefer relationships (I'm talking about real-life relationships--not online relationships) with aspies, or do you prefer NTs? Any stories about experiences (again, real life experiences) with relationships with other aspies you've had? Let's hear it.
19 Aug 2007, 7:14 pm
