Proud of myself becoming more and more s**t

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I was very proud of myself today at work, because I really managed to lie through my teeth, feign positive feelings towards an abuser (who is in a powerful position in relation to me) and take revenge in a passive-aggressive way that hurt her but she can't know for sure it was on purpose, so she can't do anything about it.

After being ashamed of myself all my life for being honest and assertive and open about my feelings and respectful of people enough as not to lie to them, now I'm proud of me at last.

How sad, that in the society we live in our self-esteem can only grow the more s**t we become....

The first to get plucked are the prettiest.
Survival of the shittiest.

Well, with me, you are PREACHING TO THE CHOIR!

I have been saying that ALL THIS TIME.

SAD! The JERKS that lie/steal/cheat get accolades and money, and the GOOD guys have to keep their wits and work three times as hard, as ANYONE else, or be LUCKY to have a chance at the same.

humility is a gift that not enough people in this world have....ive played both roles but even though i try to be the a***hole i fail myself in the end...by failing myself i mean that i am not being me and i would rahter deal with relentless BS and be myself than have to compromise my person to get by....this is what has taken me some 26 years and counting to figure out....i dont think the point is to be a sh*^&y person but to learn when to stand firm and when not to...see we aspies all have this internal lie detector within us, and to say otherwise and fight it would seem to bring more harm than good...i just hope you can find the nice gooey inbetween and remain...

if you do please show me how i can find it as well..

Awwww, that's so sad to be proud of becoming something you clearly despise.

Not the only way but... I guess it is a way.

Yeah, try to avoid all those games if you can.

But if you're gonna play, do it properly