Did your family/friends understand you as a kid?

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justanotherpersonsomewhere23124
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01 Oct 2023, 4:54 pm

How did they treat you?

How about your peers in general?



Minuteman
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01 Oct 2023, 5:30 pm

Parents thought they understood me -- but they didn't. They thought forcing me to come out of my bedroom when company came over would help bring me out of my shell. They had no idea it was pure torture for me.



GreenVelvetWorm
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01 Oct 2023, 5:57 pm

I had one best friend from kindergarten to 8th grade, we had our own little world going (literally). We understood each other well (until we became teenagers and my mental health problems drove us apart).

My peers in general mainly left me alone, I don't know what they thought of me aside from that they didn't hate me and they liked the art I made.

My family didn't always understand me, but they loved and supported me, and they still do. I'm really lucky



justanotherpersonsomewhere23124
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01 Oct 2023, 6:21 pm

:D

GreenVelvetWorm wrote:
I had one best friend from kindergarten to 8th grade, we had our own little world going (literally). We understood each other well (until we became teenagers and my mental health problems drove us apart).

My peers in general mainly left me alone, I don't know what they thought of me aside from that they didn't hate me and they liked the art I made.

My family didn't always understand me, but they loved and supported me, and they still do. I'm really lucky



Fnord
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01 Oct 2023, 6:32 pm

justanotherpersonsomewhere23124 wrote:
Did your family/friends understand you as a kid?
No.
justanotherpersonsomewhere23124 wrote:
How did they treat you?
As if I did not belong.
justanotherpersonsomewhere23124 wrote:
How about your peers in general?
They bullied me.


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Huckleberry Finn
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01 Oct 2023, 7:24 pm

No: they didn't understand me. But it's not easy and they didn't have any explanations then. Treaty? They thought I was exceptional. I excelled in almost all subjects at school. I learned things straight away. But I knew I had a lot of deficits and I looked to my 4 years of life to reduce them. In part I succeeded. In some things it is impossible for an Asperger. Therefore: Excellence at school should never be confused with socially skilled. I was zero there. Life for us is difficult so either you fight or you succumb. I'm still alive.<>Did they understand as a child? No. Even though my mother had Asperger's with a high IQ, she was terrible socially. My father was NT: imagine that. Then he had lived in a country where people risked their lives every day. One once they shot him, another time as a child they pointed a rifle to his head. They also did it when I was little: he replied with extreme calm that he had to go to work. So they could do two things: let him go, or shoot him. They were afraid of taking such a decision, and he went to work. But he admired me: He thought I was special. He didn't understand why I wasn't successful socially. He even asked me. I told him I didn't know. They both had high IQs. I must admit that their death within a short distance of each other, prevented me from giving an answer.<>So I had some very good friends. But I lost sight of them and I don't know where they are now. Where they live. I have three friends left of whom 2 Asperger's who understand. And I them. A third who has an Asperger's child. Who understands things quickly. In the friendship sector I can't complain in real life. But also in virtual life: excellent people. Now I have loved ones who know how I am, but I don't think they understand anything about me. Honestly, I'm even tired of explaining things, it's just a huge waste of time.*Sometimes I try to have advanced conversations with them. But I'm not able to understand them: I I explain quite well. And they've read my diagnoses. I don't know what to do. Sooner or later I won't stand the situation. And I'll go. I don't know where. Or maybe yes: after all, we'll all go there.<>Your question is missing of one thing: as a child and also as an adult. The situation doesn't change.<>Generally Italian society is very competitive. So either you are in line with others or you pay the consequences. Sorry because I imagine some of yours are too Difficult nations. Others aren't, at least I don't think so. Consider that here the people are veterans of fascism, they perceive themselves as superior, they have instilled the concept of a "superior race", the reality is this. In words they are not, but then if you see who they voted you can understand what they really think.


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Lost_dragon
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01 Oct 2023, 7:47 pm

My family understood me. I wasn't what they expected and that took some time to get used to but I always felt understood. My mum once sat me down and said that I wasn't what she expected but that she's glad to have me in her life.

Not so much by my peers.That didn't really happen until my late teens. Mainly because I was very restricted. Repressed. I couldn't really be myself and I was surrounded by people who didn't really get me. Lots of awkwardly keeping my head down and pretending to be someone else. There was the odd friend I was able to be honest with but they were far and few between.

However, I feel understood by my peers now and I think that's what matters.


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MagicMeerkat
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02 Oct 2023, 9:24 pm

My mom did. My mom defiantly would have been diagnosed autistic if she were a child today. She's 70 now and sees no reason to get a diagnosis. "I very well could be autistic. But I've lived my life. I got married, raised you and your brothers and made it. Why do I need an actual diagnosis again?" Same with my dad.

My brothers not so much. One didn't really understand my need for special interests and why I couldn't do somethings because of sensory reasons. The other told me I talked too loud, needed to stop talking about my special interests and that if I needed accommodations for math in school, I either was "lazy and unmotivated" or just didn't belong in the carrier path I wanted to go into. Dyscalculia wasn't real to him. I didn't talk to him for two years after his comment on how dyscalculia isn't real and I struggle with math so bad I don't need accommodations I just should go into the veterinary field. That's the only thing I want to do. Sorry, I don't see the appeal of becoming a zookeeper. They don't let you choose what animals you work with and you're basically just a janitor and you need a degree for it. If I wanted to be a janitor, I'd go do it at a place where I didn't even need a high school diploma. Telling me I can't be a vet, or even suggesting it is a REALLY good way to get on my bad side and have me NEVER talk to you ever again.


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IsabellaLinton
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02 Oct 2023, 9:54 pm

No one has ever understood me.
I daresay I didn't even understand myself until I joined here and made a few very good friends.


"Friends" (aka schoolmates) treated me like I was the r word, spaced out, stunned, weird, spastic, rude, prim, cold, haughty, mute, and distant. Sometimes they used me -- as a very young child it was for our swimming pool. I had friends on very hot days and when my dad turned the water jets on the slide. The rest of the year I had no one.

By adolescence I was branded a slut for something I didn't even do. I was cast out and I never recovered, never made friends again, and I've been told in psychological tests that my social-emotional age stopped dead in its tracks at that age. I'm still stuck there at the end of eighth grade.



"Family" -- Mostly this, from The Breakfast Club.




https://youtu.be/Zw2wNTbZE7k?feature=shared


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blitzkrieg
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03 Oct 2023, 6:13 am

I often felt ignored and/or invisible as a child. It was a struggle.