How do you make friends when people think you’re weird

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BugsBunnyFan
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30 Nov 2023, 2:42 pm

It seems pretty hard for me. Whenever people approach me I just assume they’re approaching me because they think I’m weird and they’re curious about why I’m weird. That makes it hard to trust anyone who is friendly towards me. Especially if they have “normie” vibes. I guess this means I have to do all the approaching. Too bad I have zero idea how. Probably because no one has ever approached me normally.



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01 Dec 2023, 1:02 am

Find other weird people with whom to make friends.


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CockneyRebel
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01 Dec 2023, 1:50 pm

Find people who will accept you the way that you are.


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bee33
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01 Dec 2023, 1:56 pm

Maybe if someone approaches you just respond as if you assume they are being friendly. If they're not, they'll go away and you won't have lost anything. And maybe they will realize that you are worth knowing if you engage with them.



NowWhatDoIDo
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01 Dec 2023, 3:07 pm

Find weirder friends!

Seriously, there are people out there just like you. You may find them weird, but then so does everyone else in spite of their great qualities. Learn to love people for their quirks in the same way you want others to love you for yours.



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02 Dec 2023, 2:16 am

Find other weird people...that said I have not really made an effort to meet people at all, too busy meeting npcs on video games.


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Double Retired
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02 Dec 2023, 1:15 pm

Work on your sense of humor.

I find that getting someone to smile is a good social lubricant. I think they are more inclined to tolerate someone whose humor amuses them.

The catch is developing that skill. I recommend dry humor.


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ToughDiamond
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02 Dec 2023, 3:04 pm

Yes, not everybody is easily weirded out, and not everybody is weirded out by the same things. So finding different people may help. Also you might be able to do a bit of work on your behaviour to better match it to the people of your choice. Of course you can't become a completely different person, and you probably shouldn't, but a few relatively painless tweaks here and there might be helpful. They'll probably take care of themselves eventually, Pavlovian conditioning being what it is - if I do something that weirds people out, I often find myself not doing it again.



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02 Dec 2023, 3:34 pm

BugsBunnyFan wrote:
It seems pretty hard for me.


It can truly be very difficult.
I realized this when I got to the point in my life when I decided to start putting more effort into making friends. I found that even with a whole lot of effort I was not making any progress. Prior to that experience I had always thought my trouble with making friends was due solely to lack of effort.



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17 Dec 2023, 2:06 pm

Fnord wrote:
Find other weird people with whom to make friends.


CockneyRebel wrote:
Find people who will accept you the way that you are.


These.


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18 Dec 2023, 12:02 am

Like others have said, try to find other ‘weird’ people. As for starting a friendship it is hard but I try to speak to the other person and sort of follow their lead when it comes to the stages of a friendship. I also try to keep clear communication when I can although I won’t lie it’s scary but it makes a good foundation in the friendship.



belijojo
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18 Dec 2023, 2:51 am

A person will have a stronger tolerance than NT if he is strange enough to be ostracized by mainstream society, which is why I recommend you to be friends with them.


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autisticelders
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18 Dec 2023, 5:56 am

I am definitely different. It shows no matter how hard I try to hide it. Instead I have learned to accept that odd and one of a kind part of me and I look for "my own kind". I have friends who are weird in similar ways, with shared interests as the foundation for the friendships. It has taken some time to develop those friendships, but now I have others who like to do the same stuff as I do to check in with off and on and plan some activity around our interests. It is working out well. It only took me 68 years to figure it out. Cheering you on.


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RetroGamer87
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18 Dec 2023, 6:16 am

Try to be weird in a fun way.

Also watch videos of yourself so you can check for your tone and posture. It's always helpful to see yourself as others see you.


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FleaOfTheChill
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19 Dec 2023, 12:16 am

I'm on the find other weird people bandwagon. Historically, the people I've gotten on well with have all been freaks, geeks, weirdos, and so on. I've met some cool people that way. I tend to prefer these types of folks over 'normies' anyway...more interesting to me.



Benjamin the Donkey
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19 Dec 2023, 2:34 am

Fnord wrote:
Find other weird people with whom to make friends.

Yes.


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