How to teach an autistic person to drive

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I was never allowed to learn to drive at sixteen for reasons I still do not understand to this day. I think my parents are also convinced it was illegal for an autistic person to drive.

I tried several driving schools but they didn't work out because the the teacher would literally scream at me for simple things such as accidently turning off the headlights when putting on the turn signal.

No one at the time would hear me out and would say things like, "If you can't handle your teacher yelling at you what if your passengers yell at you?" Whenever I screamed in the car, my parents would pull over and stop until I calmed down. Why is it acceptable for me to be yelled at while driving? Or "What if you hear a siren?" Sirens don't bother me like angry human voices and in my country, you're required by law to get out of the way if an ambulance or fire truck with the siren on is heading in your direction.

I live in a VERY rural area and every driving school I've checked out only takes teenagers or won't pick you up and drop you off at your home. My mother was teaching me for a while but gave up after my learner's permit expired and says I was horrible at driving anyway. I keep telling her driving isn't a right or a privilege, it's a NEED. Especially when you live in a rural area like we do with NO public transportation system.

I lived in Cincinnati for two years and learned the hard way their public transport system does not cover all of Cincinnati. I had to take two buses in the span of two hours and then walk to my job but my boss and coworkers said it was only a 15 minute ride by car. The main hospital opened at 8 or 9 and by the time I got there, everything was over. The buses didn't start until 8 or 9 so there was no way I could get there on time. I later left due to some things I saw going on there I didn't agree with...such as a cat being netured without anesthesia.

Anyway, after a lot of arguing and not backing down my mom agreed to try again. Trying to get advice on how to teach autistic people to drive but most of the information is for parents of teenagers. I'm 37. I plan to go to uni after I get my license because I don't trust online degrees and what I want to eventually do requires hands on training eventually. But anyway, is there anything my mom should know? I know consistency is the main thing and with "professional" driving schools it's not guaranteed.

I even had one driving teacher have the audacity to ask me why I didn't practice with friends. Seriously? I just moved here and have no friends and am not about to jump in the car with a total stranger and no one's going to let me potentially crash their car.

But anyway, what should my mom know? My mom knows her common sense such as not to scream at me unless I'm directly driving us off a cliff like that scene from Thelma and Louise. But anything she should know? She gets anxious a lot. Says I'm a terrible driver and hurts my self confidence but I've never had much of that to begin with. I NEED my driver's license so I can go to uni/college, veterinary school and things in between to get experience for vet school. I already feel trapped. I always have...especially when I see kids drastically younger than me driving and going places by themselves. I really feel trapped and I hate feeling trapped.

As far as I can tell, know the individual's personal learning and cognitive profile first.

Then tailor the lessons according to the profile.

And, in some cases, the practice it shouldn't be something like a one time thing; it can take months or years.
I don't know if that would be expensive or would require something more specialized.



Sirens??? Even that can be worked around with misophonia.

Even the deaf is allowed to drive legally in the states.
So yeah, one can very much get an earplug and an earphone inside the car and drive -- then get the same accomodations like any deaf drivers...

.. That is, if one knows what they're doing.



But two can play that game; why not use your own mom's anxiety against her?

Because all parents worry. And some refuses to let their kids go. Can you persuade some that you can be give enough credit?

And that autism doesn't disqualify someone from driving unless they do have significant learning deficits related to motor and visual processing, or health conditions that impacts their consciousness.

Also being triggered by a yelling teacher doesn't disqualify someone from driving, unless you're the type who cannot drive unsupervised and your main supervisor is a yelling nag.

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It took me a long time to get both my lane position and speed consistent. I tended to wobble below the speed limit when I was new. Decades later, I compulsively speed when there's no traffic in front of me.

Your driving school instructor shouldn't yell at you when you make errors. They're not some random passenger, they're a professional instructor. Your folks are wrong and that instructor isn't very good.

That said, you need to familiarize yourself with the controls well enough to not make those errors even if it takes a few extra minutes. Make it a ritual the first few times you drive an unfamiliar car if you must.

What skills do you need to demonstrate in order to pass your test to get the licence? Practice all of that.

Also, practice driving in traffic. Get used to having to plan for and anticipate what the other drivers might do. This is something we (autistics) tend to suck at so it means it will require additional effort compared to average. You must be able to do this before it's safe for you to pass the test. It doesn't need to be heavy traffic, but probably as heavy as you'll end up experiencing once you're driving on your own.

Also, I found getting some instruction/practice with autocross was very useful for actually giving me confidence over my ability to control a car. Learning how weight transfer and control inputs impacted how the car behaves made it a lot easier to not panic during an emergency like sliding because the roads are slippy or having a box fall off of the truck in front of me. It doesn't even need to be formal instruction, literally a few videos and a few hours in a safe parking lot with some pylons would be beneficial. It's mostly how it forces you to learn into muscle memory how to scrub speed hard and then turn. Even better if you do it in the rain a bit as well.

Having confidence really makes it easier to remain focused on the actual task of driving.

Maybe on top of crappy professionals, you also have a parent problem.

Threatening you to send to a psych hospital?
And you're over 30+?

Do they have legal grounds that you're their permanent dependent or something?
They don't sound like support and safe people.

Are you really that further in support levels to be the case?

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you need a driving teacher who believes in you. I was told by one I couldnt drive and another one said I would definitely get my license no questions. I got my license and I'm driving around now

My own driving ability is limited, so this may not be useful, but I would start very very slow. Practice in an empty parking lot to begin with. When you are comfortable with that, try driving on small side roads with very little traffic. Then when you are comfortable enough with these easier situations, maybe you can venture on.

Ideally you would have a good professional driving instructor if you can find one. They should be patient and understanding. Your mother's anxiety will probably make things harder whereas a patient professional can help. Plus the driving schools have dual controls in the car (for driver and instructor) so if you make a mistake you can feel more confident because the instructor can correct it.

My neighbor Anita said I may never be able to drive because of the Autism but now after reading on this thread that having Autism does NOT necessarily preclude or inhibit the ability to drive is making me want to prove her wrong by getting my driver's license!! !

I am about to prove her wrong by getting married so this would just be icing on the proverbial "payback cake"!

However I'm afraid once I actually get behind the wheel I would be like SpongeBob SquarePants when he is driving his boat

Well, I am nearly 35 and I still just have a drivers permit which means I can drive with a licensed driver in the passenger seat. So, me and my boyfriend have been thinking we should have me do some driving in his car so I can get some experience to get my license, but we have not really done that yet.

I guess driving instruction is a seller's market, so the "customer is always right" thing gets overlooked. My instructors didn't yell at me so I guess I was lucky. As far as I'm concerned, yelling at people is usually a mistake. It might be understandable, but it often triggers a negative reaction and makes things worse. It would be unusual if anybody yelled at me with any success.

I was lucky and was recommended a driving instructor who is good with nervous drivers. She was very good with me, she seemed to understand I wasn’t a natural driver and was always very calm and patient, letting me go at my own pace. I had a bad driving instructor before her, who didn’t shout but was impatient and really stressed me out.

I’m still unable to drive on my own though (too anxious) so I’m not exactly a success story.