Most outrageous accusation from NTs about our body language?

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Jayo
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15 Aug 2024, 7:51 pm

Yes, my ASD friends, we know all too well that in the neurotypical world, "80-90% of communication is non-verbal..."
Or rather, the relative emphases of communication components - not really communication itself (or else we wouldn't need to learn foreign languages).
But I digress.

What's the most outrageous accusation you got from an NT about your body language / non-verbal communication?
I can't recall any in particular, but here are a few:

- Got accused of "not giving a s***" because of my stunned facial expression after she told me of something that bothered her (which was also about my ASD mannerisms, not that she was recently bereaved or something)
- Accused of snubbing a girl who was "in to me" when I didn't get that from her (and she was kinda cute...)
- Accused of being impatient while waiting in line / queue even though I didn't feel that way - must've been bodily tension or an intense look...

I was never accused of smirking at inappropriate times (if anything, I've gotten that more from NTs who didn't take my concerns seriously), nor was I accused of seeming "bored" or "exasperated" with a serious concern or conversation from somebody (although I think this has happened to some Aspies...) and the last time I can recall being accused of deceit was as a teenager (about a decade before my diagnosis) and I'm middle-aged now... so, yeah.

The thing is, since once again it comes back to "80-90% of communication is non-verbal", I'm SURE that some NTs have accused me, through their face, of me being shifty or intentionally doing them wrong...like a certain narrowing of the eyes to show aggression or skepticism, or signs of anger or contempt that might've revealed that they felt disrespected. Who knows...?



CockneyRebel
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15 Aug 2024, 9:02 pm

I also get told stuff like this all the tine and it always ends up in me getting into a crying jig because an NI tells me how heartless she thinks I am.


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Edna3362
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15 Aug 2024, 9:07 pm

Accusing me of disrespect because of my eyes 'glaring' apparently. :roll: :roll: :roll: Or muttering.
Whenever I'm not really in a mood, in a bad day or in a really deep contemplation or focus.

My boss takes too much of a big deal that it blew up often.
I think she has this 'respect' complex because of your 'I worked my butt off to reach this level, I demand respect' story shite. Makes me wanna glare for real.

She has problems with me expressing 'negative emotions' in general.


It's fricking petty to be honest.


How come anyone else got it right whenever my eyes are 'like that'?
"Me not being in a mood, nothing to do with anyone else. Give me space and not in a mood to entertain. Leave me alone. Go away. Do not talk to me. Do not approach. F--- OFF."


I see anyone who has an issue in this has this particular problem related to their self esteem or an entitlement problem.
Could care less if anyone is 'playing nice' and not confronting me about it; because the appropriate response for me is not to confront me about it. Because it's fricking petty and you're the one with the problem to confront me about it.

If you asked me why, what's wrong or what went wrong; that's an even more appropriate question.
But to accuse me, that is basically adding fuel to the fire...

Could care less if it's a trauma response or whatever image issues they're having.
Why should I care of what they think when they don't care of what I think? Especially not when I'm literally in a state of not being in a mood to play along?


No one else accuses me of this. At all. It's just her.


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IsabellaLinton
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16 Aug 2024, 12:16 am

- Looking ret*d when stimming
- Looking drunk, stoned, or even blind because of no eye contact


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SocOfAutism
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19 Aug 2024, 1:02 pm

This is really a differences in facial muscle movements. It's not so much the NTs fault if they don't know you too well.

My 10 year old son often thinks his own dad is angry when it's clear to me that my husband is feeling panic, sadness, or is tired. Or sometimes even when he's thinking about an interest. This is from 30 years of me asking him, "What are you thinking about" when I was unsure. He's had to do the same to me.

Now it's like back to the drawing board as I try to coach our son through the interpretive dance of facial movements.

Maybe you guys should try announcing what you're thinking about if someone is looking at you funny.

"I AM THINKING ABOUT LUNCH." or "I AM WONDERING WHAT THAT SMELL IS."

:D



Raleigh
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19 Aug 2024, 11:55 pm

Variously I've been accused of being angry/cranky/stoned/superior/snobbish etc...
I've been told I'm wooden, like a shop dummy,
Or my posture is too stiff, LOL! :roll:


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IsabellaLinton
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19 Aug 2024, 11:59 pm

Oh yes. Someone said it looks like I haven't taken the wooden hanger out of my shirt.


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