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JourneyFan
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04 Feb 2022, 12:24 pm

I don’t have:

- Meltdowns (although I have had them in the past, it’s been quite a few years since I last had one)

- Picky eating - there are quite a lot of things I won’t eat but there are also a lot of things I will eat.

- Being bad at small talk. I always ask how people are - although I do switch off when they reply :lol: and then my response is usually “that’s good”. If they tell me things are not good then my reply is “oh no”. I never talk about the weather unless someone else brings it up then it’s just me nodding and agreeing with the occasional chuckle thrown in.

That’s all I can think off. I was expecting to write a longer list 8O if I think of any more I’ll add them as a reply. I also have ADHD and a lot of those traits can conflict with ASD for example - being easily distracted by something “interesting” that is irrelevant to what I am currently engaged in. Or not reading a whole article/watching a whole video about my current interest because I don’t have the attention span to do so!



Edna3362
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04 Feb 2022, 12:35 pm

I don't experience anything related to heightened anxiety states on a regular basis -- intolerance to uncertainty, unwillingness to take risk, not going nonlinear, heightened sense of fear or phobias, constant worry, intrusive negativity, avoidance, some forms of rigidity like disliking spontaneousness, needing consistent routines, dislike or easily startled, etc.


Except for overthinking and excitability.

The former is from poor EF. Latter is negative transformed to positive.


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Elgee
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04 Feb 2022, 2:41 pm

I don't avoid or limit eye contact.

I haven't been evaluated yet, but something is definitely up with my wiring. I score in the "suspected autism" range on online tests. I have all the other traits except also shutdowns and meltdowns. But everything else is there (obsessions, stimming, social awkwardness, not needing people, "too serious all the time," scripting conversations, sensory issues).

I give good eye contact. How ELSE am I going to assert my dominance and send the message that you'd better not mess with me or try to scam me or give me crappy service?

It's not about showing honesty or respect. It's about showing self-assuredness. I don't want people to think I'm vulnerable, insecure or meek, and AVOIDING eye contact will send this message like a giant smoke signal.

It's easy for me to maintain eye contact when I'm listening to an explanation about something I don't know about. But the longer I'm sitting there listening, eyes pinned to their left eye, the more conscious I become of the eye contact. I'm holding it because it's what Americans are supposed to do. It's mildly distracting and sometimes, thoughts enter my mind about that person, how they perceive me, the way their eye looks. I guess all of this isn't supposed to happen with NTs. I then have to make a point to look at their right eye, to "even it out." Then back to the left eye. I'm aware of this as much as I would be if I were supposed to maintain a continuous handshake.



Kanashiihawk21
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04 Feb 2022, 3:32 pm

Oh this is so easy..... ULTRA, Uber sensitive EMPATHY. I AM the character of Will Graham, I can have empathy with anyone or anything (except myself) and yes, I am always surrounded by dogs too. 8) So yeah, I am female, ASD with narrow interests in animals and such but who can look at nearly any person and immediately know THERE most innermost feelings. Talk about HUGE brick walls and lead shields I have. It is one reason places like Disney I could never go to..Too overwhelming. The more people there are in a space I pick up every thought, heartbeat, electrical impulse and it is smotheringly overwhelming 95% of the time.


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HeroOfHyrule
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04 Feb 2022, 4:10 pm

I used to be a picky eater as a child due to issues w/ texture, but I'm not a picky eater as an adult and will eat or try most things now.

I also had some issues w/ speech (not delayed speech, but more like problems with articulation, tone, etc.), and now I don't have too many noticeable issues. It still can be hard sometimes to talk properly though, since it takes me some effort and focus to word things and articulate certain sounds right.



Joe90
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04 Feb 2022, 4:41 pm

Let's see ..

I don't have sensory issues with light, in fact I can't stand dim-lit rooms.

I don't rock or flap my hands when anxious.

I don't generally misunderstand emotions through body language, tone of voice and facial expressions.

I generally get jokes, sarcasm and metaphors. Even if I don't know what a metaphor means (because of never hearing it before) I still know that they are using a metaphor.

I'm not very good at learning or remembering facts.

I'm people-orientated and I enjoy engaging in social chitchat with colleagues.

I'm good at empathising with others and listening when they confide in me about their feelings and problems. In fact I'm better at this than the average NT.

I don't have special interests and I don't talk excessively about one subject.

I can have conversations without interrupting mid-sentence or talking over people.

I cannot hyperfocus. My ears are open to sounds around me and I always notice what's going on around me. For example if I'm watching a video on my laptop with my headphones on I can still see my boyfriend walking across the room or something.

I can usually multitask, unless it involves a lot of preparing, for example I can talk on the phone whilst doing something but I find cooking meals hard because of the organisation (apparently cooking a meal is multitasking).

Eye contact comes naturally.

I often think irrationally and illogically.

I can express my feelings with no difficulties.

My "meltdowns" aren't typical "autistic meltdowns" and aren't usually caused by things that trigger autistics, such as sensory overstimulation or routine change. I am very verbal during a meltdown and I cry.

I don't have a blank facial expression or speak in an emotionless tone.

I don't follow a rigid routine.

I care what others think of me and I seek social approval. I hate people thinking I'm weird, especially strangers in public places. I like to blend into the background.

I'm in a stable relationship with an NT man and I don't seem to have any Aspie-related difficulties with our relationship at all.

I find repetitive tasks difficult, like at work for example. I prefer to do different tasks each day.

I don't have epilepsy.

Food touching on the plate doesn't bother me in the slightest, never has done.



When I think of any more I'll add.


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JourneyFan
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04 Feb 2022, 5:34 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Let's see ..

I don't have sensory issues with light, in fact I can't stand dim-lit rooms.

I don't rock or flap my hands when anxious.

I don't generally misunderstand emotions through body language, tone of voice and facial expressions.

I generally get jokes, sarcasm and metaphors. Even if I don't know what a metaphor means (because of never hearing it before) I still know that they are using a metaphor.

I'm not very good at learning or remembering facts.

I'm people-orientated and I enjoy engaging in social chitchat with colleagues.

I'm good at empathising with others and listening when they confide in me about their feelings and problems. In fact I'm better at this than the average NT.

I don't have special interests and I don't talk excessively about one subject.

I can have conversations without interrupting mid-sentence or talking over people.

I cannot hyperfocus. My ears are open to sounds around me and I always notice what's going on around me. For example if I'm watching a video on my laptop with my headphones on I can still see my boyfriend walking across the room or something.

I can usually multitask, unless it involves a lot of preparing, for example I can talk on the phone whilst doing something but I find cooking meals hard because of the organisation (apparently cooking a meal is multitasking).

Eye contact comes naturally.

I often think irrationally and illogically.

I can express my feelings with no difficulties.

My "meltdowns" aren't typical "autistic meltdowns" and aren't usually caused by things that trigger autistics, such as sensory overstimulation or routine change. I am very verbal during a meltdown and I cry.

I don't have a blank facial expression or speak in an emotionless tone.

I don't follow a rigid routine.

I care what others think of me and I seek social approval. I hate people thinking I'm weird, especially strangers in public places. I like to blend into the background.

I'm in a stable relationship with an NT man and I don't seem to have any Aspie-related difficulties with our relationship at all.

I find repetitive tasks difficult, like at work for example. I prefer to do different tasks each day.

I don't have epilepsy.

Food touching on the plate doesn't bother me in the slightest, never has done.



When I think of any more I'll add.


Well now you have mentioned all of these, there are some there that I wasn't aware were autistic traits so the ones I share are:

I don't flap my hands - I do rock but only when very upset or when I am relaxed. I also sway a lot.

I am ok with facial expressions as long as they are happy, sad or angry. Anything else and I am lost!

I am ok with sarcasm sometimes but I never know how to respond to it. I get SOME jokes - but not all.

I can chat with friends and family fine.

I think I can empathise - but I find it hard to know the difference between empathy and sympathy. I do feel things but I generally will respond with a logical answer rather than a sympathetic answer because I don't see the need for empty gestures.

I can think irrationally - it comes with the anxiety though!

I also care what others think of me. I am a people pleaser with very low self esteem. I like to blend in as you say. I wear a lot of black for this reason.

I don't have epilepsy but I think that's just one of the many comorbidities you get with autism.



ASPartOfMe
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04 Feb 2022, 6:12 pm

Most of the traits I came up with I don't have are actually co-morbid.

There are traits that are very mild, but that is not the same as not there.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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04 Feb 2022, 6:24 pm

I don't have meltdowns, but my mom often provokes me into committing suicide.

I am not a picky eater.

I like watching a good comedy whenever one is on TV.

I prefer listening to people than starting conversations.

Eye contact happens "normally" for me.

I don't speak monotonically.

I don't like being "told off" just like anyone else; spectrum and NT alike.

I have epilepsy, had my first seizure when I was 8.


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Caz72
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04 Feb 2022, 6:50 pm

i dont really have special interest

i dont get seizures

i am excellent at my full time job as a bus driver

im good at talking to the public ( being in authority)

i dont stim as in flapping my hands or rocking

i am excellent with directions

i m into fashion and beauty

im married and have a full time job



it may look like im really mild/high functioning but im severe in other ways so basically im moderate functioning


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ToughDiamond
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04 Feb 2022, 7:27 pm

No meltdowns.
Not particularly socially inept.
No gastro-intestinal problems.
Voice not particularly monotone.
Eye contact can be fairly normal.
Understands sarcasm.
Understands most jokes unless they're heavily dependent on the knowledge of the culture of a different group.
Capable of small talk.
Isn't fascinated with numbers, has difficulty remembering them.
Some ability to intuitively understand other people's feelings, can read faces and body language fairly well.
Capable of lying and using discretion with the truth if the need arises.
Has been known to have lots of friends.
Was in employment for 93% of working life.
Has always been capable of independent living.
Did well academically considering background, as judged by qualifications.
No known developmental delays in early years.

Beyond that it gets more complicated, because for a lot of the traits I've probably got them to a degree but arguably not so much as I'm "supposed" to have them. I can successfully break out of most ASD traits for a while, though not forever and not all at once.



Joe90
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04 Feb 2022, 9:25 pm

Quote:
Capable of lying and using discretion with the truth if the need arises.


I forgot to add this one to my list. I have no trouble lying and in actual fact I don't find lying to be morally wrong like a lot of Aspies seem to. Of course I don't like big lies that will end up hurting people, but I'm talking about everyday white lies.

I don't seem to have ToM issues, although I don't understand greatly what it exactly means but if it means "ability to see something from someone else's perspective" then I don't have issues with that. For example, I asked my boyfriend to put the washing machine on when he gets up for work in the morning, but I have a feeling he might forget, so instead of writing a note I just deliberately left the door of the washing machine open so that when he gets up he'll see it open and it will remind him to turn it on. That sort of thing.


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the xpax
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05 Feb 2022, 6:30 am

Do not have:

Ability to call us ass-burgers. Those are what you get when you go to the washroom :roll: .

As-per-ger was Hans Asperger's Austrian name pronunciation, also less ❤ self-defacing.
Since I have to have a Syndrome, I would rather it not be derogatory !
If you find it humorous to be called a piece of sh*t then enjoy.

Thank you.

P.S. I feel Aus-per-ger would be the technically accurate pronunciation, myself being pure Austrian lineage.



Empathy Quotient (Simon Baron-Cohen) = 72.5% (58 out of 80)



Last edited by the xpax on 05 Feb 2022, 8:01 am, edited 6 times in total.

auntblabby
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05 Feb 2022, 7:04 am

hmmmm.... lesseeee.... i can look NICE people in the eye, but not brassholes. i can do small talk convincingly well to where people have said that i present well. i joke with folks that i do small talk because i'm not very good at big talk. i can empathize, oft-times tearfully, with others who are hurting. i am basically innumerate. don't ask me to do maths. i don't mind being called an assburger :mrgreen: it makes me laugh like a little kid. :D



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05 Feb 2022, 7:40 am

Umm... I don't know, actually. I've never given it any thought and have just checked the boxes on what I do have.

Quote:
- Meltdowns (although I have had them in the past, it’s been quite a few years since I last had one)

- Picky eating - there are quite a lot of things I won’t eat but there are also a lot of things I will eat.

- Being bad at small talk. I always ask how people are - although I do switch off when they reply :lol: and then my response is usually “that’s good”. If they tell me things are not good then my reply is “oh no”. I never talk about the weather unless someone else brings it up then it’s just me nodding and agreeing with the occasional chuckle thrown in.


These are all tricky things. I definitely had all of these as a child, but they've gotten rarer and rarer. Does it count as picky eating that I don't touch certain foods/won't touch them unless offered, or is it the normal level of having foods one dislikes? These days there are still lots of foods that I avoid, but those that I would absolutely refuse to touch are very rare now. As for being bad at small talk, I've gotten way better than I was, say, 10 years ago, but I don't know if I come across as normal or not when I do small talk. I'd guess that sometimes I do and sometimes I don't, but who knows.



JourneyFan
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05 Feb 2022, 8:56 am

Just thought of another one.

I can tie laces - don’t think I ever struggled with that.