HELPING others as a way of feeling better, ..

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Do you experienced the 'good feeling' of helping others ? me as an asperger, sometimes we can't fit in this world as much we wished, but helping others somewhat yes ? ...

I was always told from my mother that I needed to worry less for the other's people problems or issues and take care more about me instead, as it was very difficut for me to concentrate on me when I'm with somebody else, .. and now maybe I see it as a way I had to be useful (despite my asperger's 'discapacity' ) to the others. Somewhat doing the things I can do better I feel better myself, and helping others is one of those things ...

I have so much fun providing books for schools in Rwanda or local teachers that little else compares.

Helping others can camke youu feel good about yourself and others

I make little "sack lunches" ( peanut butter and jelly sandwich, apple, soda or milk carton, couple smokes and some matches) and give them to the people on the street corners w/ their "Please Help, will work for food" signs. I WON'T give them money, but no one should go hungry. When I lived in Sacramento, I'd ride the bike trails and me and my daughter would pass them out to the homeless. It really does make me feel better, I think in some ways I do it just for the good feeling I get from it.and now my daughter is 20 and she does the same thing. If everyone did it their would't be hungry people.

Ooops, my secret is out.

I've been living with AS for over thirty years and I reckon it's now under sufficient control that I can live a reasonable life (not perfect, reasonable). If I can help one person on this board deal with their AS in an effective way then I'll be a happy camper.

Ed Almos

Yes. I worry about other people's feelings way more then my own. I've also been taken advantage of many times, because of my eagerness to help others. My mom always said "you can't save the world", but it was always my mission to help make it a better place to be for everyone.

I love this thread and can relate to the feeling a lot, I was even thinking about it this morning!

I guess I worry a lot that my constant crises make me a drain on everyone's rescources. So nothing makes me happier than being able to counsell someone else rather than being counselled, or just being able to help other people in any way I can.

The dictionary defines empathy as 'the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another person's feelings'. Supposedly the lack of it is at the centre of Aspergers. Personally, I always make the effort to understand another person's feelings, although apparently I consistently mis-interpret things. Does this mean I lack empathy, because I do care about other peoples feelings.

OK, that started with a proper point and ended up in theoretical crap. I apologise.

I spend a majority of my time here trying my best to help others; I can hardly resist doing so; it is in my nature to solve problems (or at least to try my very best to). When I empathize, it is all or nothing; for me, there seems to be no other states.

Not only does it make me feel better, but it also often helps me understand myself in ways I did not expect.

Good fortune,

- Icarus the Meddler

Yes,I think that although there may be a lack of so-called 'empathy' in
understanding others' motives,AS can often have a capacity to balance this with
a philanthropic approach and heightened sense of fairness.I've sometimes found
myself actually being over-concerned about other people at the expense of
neglecting my own welfare,being taken advantage of like Serenity said.The trick
is to find the right balance and look after our own interests as well.

I like trying to help others, whether it actually works or not, sometimes remains to be seen, often I'll get yelled at for being too controlling in situations or too blunt or brushed off.

I have always tried to help others, even as a child, but it was never the hugging, pat on the back, sympathising sort of help, but rather logical advice or a verbal kick up the backside for those who had got stuck.
That is still the way I help as a couple here can probably attest.

I feel really good when I help animals.
I don't really understand how to help people physically like in real life because I don't know how to respond to their issues.
I once stayed up two nights in a row seringe feeding an 8 week old kitten who weighed 248 grams. I found her sick at a pet shop in one of the cages that said "kittens for sale" and since I knew the person who owned the shop I took the kitten to the vet first and paid $300.00 for medication before starting seringe feeding every hour.

Hi, my name is Melissa and I am a "helper".

As much as that sounds like I should be stood at the front of a room filled with fellow "helpers" in a "helper's Anonymous"group, I am not.

I enjoy helping so much that I have became a "professional helper".

I know that my natural instinct to help people has placed me in a million awkward positions. I have been the guy that people feel they can "walk all over" & quite frankly, there are some people in this world that have taken advantage of my good will, time and time again.

However, throughout my travels I have met the most fascinating, strong, brilliant, weak, desperate, comical, strange & interesting people...

I am not a religious soul. I do not follow anyone else's path. I wake each day and march to the beat of my own heart. I want to give, without discrimination or need for praise, knowing that at the end of the day, the world will be a better place.

And if it helps to boost my esteem along my travels, well, then...FANTASTIC!

I have also created a very kind, caring, helpful AS child, too! And PROUD of it!

When someone claims to help me because it makes them feel better but not because they actually like me it makes me feel used. "I help out my friends because it makes me feel good, and because I love my friends". That just makes more sense to me.