Introversion

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http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc ... vert/2696/

""It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig......Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion."

"The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves."

This is so true I can't tell you how many times I just tune people out because they seem to be engrossed in their own conversation. I know they didn't even notice because they just kept talking. Maybe they did and they were just being rude who know, but if the world would be silent it could listen to all the bull that they say.

I am an introvert, and prefer being a solo person. My father is somewhat of an extrovert, and can't understand that I prefer being a solo person. He drives me crazy about it sometimes. Fortunately, I live alone. However, I am renting my trailer home from him. On the plus side, he and my step mom are snow birds, and spend the cold months at their home in Florida. My father honestly can't understand that I like living and being alone, even though I've told him so, many times. He believes that everyone who lives alone is unhappy because they are alone. Due to my Asperger's and other health issues, I will never be extatically happy, but I have lived with the Asperger's and some of the other health problems all of my life, so I am used to them. I am not thrilled with them, but I prefer not to wallow in misery over them every waking moment. My baseline mood (equilibrium) is lower than most people's, but it beats full depression. I am a chronic depressive, but I have been mostly okay for the past 6 & 1/2 years--since I started living alone. I am a hermit type person. My father just can't understand that, and is always after me to visit them when they are up here in the warm months, or to visit with some of my step relatives who live up here. I don't care for social gatherings, but will occasionally visit my parents. However, I am not a party animal, and won't do frequent social visits. I don't need constant people contact, and don't care for it, either.

If a friend or relative is pushing for more contact, just try to politely put them off. When you don't want to have a visit, either over there or at your place, just tell them that you are pretty busy most of the time, and that you will let them know when you are able to have a visit. If your friends and relatives are worried about your being so solitary, just tell them that you are a happy hermit.

I don't know of any way to enlighten the extroverts, as to the fact that some people actually prefer being solo. I wish them well, but am not interested in becoming an extrovert, myself.

I am an introvert BUT i love the stage. I was involved in a few school plays during my early years. I walked out on stage as one of the three wise men in Jesus of Nazareth and played the big bad wolf in Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs. I get a natural high out of seeing THAT " i can't believe what i just saw "........look in the faces of people.

And yet, like all introverts, it's essential that i have quiet time, alone. One of the biggest complaints that my friends have of me, is, "You just disappear."

I have figured out that the amount of time that i spend socializing with people is directly proportional to the time i require alone.

For the longest, i thought research was something you did just to verify what you already knew, a mere formality. LoL.

TheSunAlsoRises

The article makes some rude assumptions about extroverts. Can't understand introverts but introverts can understand everyone? Well, not where I live.

Last time I checked, people who happen to be introverts went as much on my nerves as other people who happen to extroverts.

Introverts I met seem to have next to no grasp on that there are people who don't function alone in the quiet (and insist you to be that way and go into rage-modus when you're not behaving like they want you to) - while other introverts can put themselves in other people's shoes. Same goes for extroverts, some go well with some people but if you leave them alone with others there's some serious social terror going on for all participants.

My point: there's so much more than simply introversion and extroversion that makes a person someone who's compatible to you and enables them to understand you or makes a person seemingly incompatible with you.

Extroverts tend to call introverts ''strange'', even though it's not true. My cousin (who is extroverted) went on holiday with her mates, and when she came back she talked about the other people they met in the hotel, and when she described the quieter ones she kept saying that they were strange. I said, ''but they might just be shy'', and until I said that, she hadn't thought of that, and said, ''oh, maybe''. So I think extroverts can get so wrapped up in their social lives that they think that everyone is and should be extroverted.

That is why sometimes I can't always be doing with extroverted people. I prefer to surround myself with other introverts. They seem to have more of an understanding of eachother.

Introverts are always belittled.

I remember when i had joined a computer class my teacher was talking with a sir and they were discussing how the other teacher is so boring, dull type of person and how they feel sleepy when they look at her.

They were talking about a shy and simple girl but badly belittling her.

Once my classmate told me that how a group of girls were saying that they are going to avoid me because I am a very dumb bore person..
I am a kind, helpful, nice person but yes introvert I am unable to socialise and often make social mistakes.

Earlier i used to try and talk with people but slowly and steadily i stopped interacting and cut off
because i realised that they find us boring

Also i find extroverts very difficult to handle because they just keep talking to everyone and anyone and it becomes difficult
for us to cope up with them....when we are with them we delibrately have to imitate them

I never heard much of the term until it was applied somewhat derogatorily (to me). In otherwords, to me some folks were quiet and others were not ( in my practice/experience). Some are charged up by this and forage in this social terrain and others are not as moved thus showing limited participation. That was my layman's running definitional distinction of humanity. " You're introverted." Later I found the "official" defined criteria.

A common misperception is the cause of these types is environment. Under normal conditions there is not an environmental loading or component that shapes/ or conditions the person into extroversion/ introversion. This arises subconsciously or is *automatic* as without prior thought to behave this way.

Once that is cleared up, that these( introverts) were deprived in some way and hence are "ignorant," then acceptance follows (should).

I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that the majority of reflective types see this difference accurately, as opposed to the majority of the 'here and now' folks.

The understanding of this phenomena is one directional ( seems).

The way I see it, introversion and extroversion is like a spectrum. I don't believe there are two types of people: introverts and extroverts. It's not like an ''all or nothing'' thing. There are some people who I know who I couldn't describe as to being introverted or extroverted. A lot of people are just in between, but it also depends on one's personality. Some people's personalities can meet the wavelength of an extroverted person, even though they are not really extroverted, they are still on the wavelength of an extroverted person, and are accepted by extroverts and become popular.

Of course there are lots of people who are introverted and there's lots who are extroverted, but it still doesn't mean people can't rank somewhere in the middle, and be moderately extroverted or moderately introverted, etc, etc, etc.
I consider myself as introverted, and there are lots of others (doesn't matter if they're NT or Aspie or other) who I would describe introverted too. I tend to get on better with other introverted people. Some of my cousins are considered extroverted, and aren't shy at all and are very confident and have a bigger social life and are liked by many people and seem to have that type of character that draws people to him and he becomes the life and soul of every group (lucky!! !) But a lot of other people who I know are just in between. My friend is very chatty, will chat to anyone, very socially enthusiastic, can make and keep friends easily, has a lot of friends, and she has a very extroverted type of character, but when she goes into pubs or to other social events where there's a lot of people she doesn't know, she clams up and keeps herself to herself. So I'm not sure whether to describe her introverted or extroverted.

Introverts vs. Extroverts because there's just not enough division between people....as it is as we need to fight over whether Extroverts or Introverts are 'better'.