Page 3 of 3 [ 40 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,934

17 Oct 2007, 5:50 am

mom2bax wrote:
i thank you all for your views.
i would like to clarify a bit though , i do realize he is young, but like i said i want to prepare myself with the knowledge of potential problems in this area as i am more unfamiliar with it, i would like to give myself a head start.
Because i am new to this i was wondering if his penis issues could be a self stimming behavior that would have to be closely monitored so he didn't whip it out in front of his class at school or something. and because i am not a male, i don't know how much of what behavior is typical.
i do know men and their penis have a special realtionship, i just wondered if it shouldn't be slowing down a bit from the initial discovery period and become less overt.
i appreciate the bit on having to be extrs sure to teach him that it's not acceptable in public.
thanks again.


I don't know if you could say it is a special relationship. It isn't like adults want to do it all the time, etc... You DO have to make it clear it isn't publicly accepted. Apparently, that would be just as true if he was NT.

Personally, I though you are over estimating its link to AS.



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,254
Location: London

17 Oct 2007, 4:44 pm

I think this is nonsense. Not people’s experiences, they are always relevant, but the notion that people with Asperger's don't have the range of sexuality that NT's have.

I have memory problems but I am pretty sure I was pretty ambivalent to sex until around 12, then after that it started to kick in. Sure I might of put my had down there before then.

One thing that is interesting is although I can't remember anything before the age of 7-8 I do seem to remember one thing. I'm not sure how but it came back to me. I never told anyone about this before, not one but I might as well. Basically I was a toddler maybe 4-5 and I was either going to or from nursery/kindergarten a was in a car with a girl. I know it could of only been one person because she would have been my age and was also and embassy child. Anyway she showed me her 'front bottom'. It was both perfectly innocent with both of us. It looked interesting, I recall. She explained that her font bottom was for weeing and her bottom was for pooing or something like that.


Anyways... :lol:



becca423b
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 71
Location: Wisconsin

17 Oct 2007, 5:34 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
mom2bax wrote:
i thank you all for your views.
i would like to clarify a bit though , i do realize he is young, but like i said i want to prepare myself with the knowledge of potential problems in this area as i am more unfamiliar with it, i would like to give myself a head start.
Because i am new to this i was wondering if his penis issues could be a self stimming behavior that would have to be closely monitored so he didn't whip it out in front of his class at school or something. and because i am not a male, i don't know how much of what behavior is typical.
i do know men and their penis have a special realtionship, i just wondered if it shouldn't be slowing down a bit from the initial discovery period and become less overt.
i appreciate the bit on having to be extrs sure to teach him that it's not acceptable in public.
thanks again.


I don't know if you could say it is a special relationship. It isn't like adults want to do it all the time, etc... You DO have to make it clear it isn't publicly accepted. Apparently, that would be just as true if he was NT.

Personally, I though you are over estimating its link to AS.


I would agree. In my pediatric nursing course, we were taught that this is one of the biggest questions parents have, and we should reassure them that little kids do this all the time, it's really quite normal, though embarassing. Your best bet is probably just to redirect him, and keep telling him that's something that you can only do in private. Since he has AS, it very well could take him longer than most to learn that, but it is still pretty normal.



2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,934

17 Oct 2007, 5:35 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
I think this is nonsense. Not people’s experiences, they are always relevant, but the notion that people with Asperger's don't have the range of sexuality that NT's have.

I have memory problems but I am pretty sure I was pretty ambivalent to sex until around 12, then after that it started to kick in. Sure I might of put my had down there before then.

One thing that is interesting is although I can't remember anything before the age of 7-8 I do seem to remember one thing. I'm not sure how but it came back to me. I never told anyone about this before, not one but I might as well. Basically I was a toddler maybe 4-5 and I was either going to or from nursery/kindergarten a was in a car with a girl. I know it could of only been one person because she would have been my age and was also and embassy child. Anyway she showed me her 'front bottom'. It was both perfectly innocent with both of us. It looked interesting, I recall. She explained that her font bottom was for weeing and her bottom was for pooing or something like that.


Anyways... :lol:


WOW, I KNOW you were young and all, but that is AWFULLY basic! She thought you were THAT different?

As for me? I was interested in girls, etc... but it wasn't like I wanted to have sex with them when I was little. I don't know, it was odd. I will tell you one thing. I definitely had more of a fondness for females than the average male of my age. I never knew why, but AS seems like a likely reason. YOU can't remember that time, but I can remember a lot. You know, I never really thought about it, but a lot of boys pushed other boys into the girls restroom as a sort of joke. THAT is one thing that never happened with me! :lol:



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,254
Location: London

17 Oct 2007, 5:54 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
WOW, I KNOW you were young and all, but that is AWFULLY basic! She thought you were THAT different?

As for me? I was interested in girls, etc... but it wasn't like I wanted to have sex with them when I was little. I don't know, it was odd. I will tell you one thing. I definitely had more of a fondness for females than the average male of my age. I never knew why, but AS seems like a likely reason. YOU can't remember that time, but I can remember a lot. You know, I never really thought about it, but a lot of boys pushed other boys into the girls restroom as a sort of joke. THAT is one thing that never happened with me! :lol:

Yeh I thought it was pretty basic. Though that is how the memory comes out, it was probably just a casual remark. A memory is not like being there for me, this is vague. I was more focused on the thing itself. Bare in mind because I don't remember being any age before 8. I don't really know what it is like to be that age if you understand what I mean. In fact I only have the vaguest idea of 9-11. A slightly better idea of 12-14. Then it goes up more a little more rapidly after.



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,254
Location: London

17 Oct 2007, 5:59 pm

I was told I was more told I would talk to adults more, and play 'self sufficiently'.



GoatOnFire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,149
Location: Den of the ecdysiasts

17 Oct 2007, 6:00 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
1. Able to have erections VERY early(Some told me this wasn't possible, but I could have them when I was 4 and probably earlier.)


I never realized that was unusual. I've had erections since I was about 2 or 3 (no orgasming) and always assumed that that was normal. I was also interested in girls very early.


_________________
I will befriend the friendless, help the helpless, and defeat... the feetless?


2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,934

17 Oct 2007, 6:20 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
2ukenkerl wrote:
1. Able to have erections VERY early(Some told me this wasn't possible, but I could have them when I was 4 and probably earlier.)


I never realized that was unusual. I've had erections since I was about 2 or 3 (no orgasming) and always assumed that that was normal. I was also interested in girls very early.


Keep in mind I spoke before 1, read before 4, knew about electricity(Inductors, transformers, AC/DC, voltage, wattage, capacitors, resistors, etc...) and could read pictorials before 5, knew a lot about sex and could read electronic schematics, etc... before 6, knew how computers worked(Address, data, refresh, wait states, clocks, etc...) before 9(It was so late because computers weren't economically feasible before that. A little company called INTEL had just created the MPU(Micro Processing Unit)).

People have been telling me ALL MY LIFE I couldn't do things I could. Frankly, I don't know what is normal, and what isn't. I DO know that a lot of boys at least don't ACT like they like girls, etc... I tried to stay away from the question. One of my best friends at the time was female, and I was taunted for THAT! As for erections, I don't EVER remember being surprised by it. I don't EVER remember having trouble getting one. I just heard some times that little boys can't have them.

ALL MY LIFE adults have spoken about kids not being able to do things. HECK, some even say you can't dream in color. That seems SO ridiculous.

But HEY! The point about this site is that some people are practically ALIEN! Maybe ALL of the differences I have of this nature are due to AS. Who knows?



geek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 723
Location: Elsewhere

17 Oct 2007, 6:42 pm

GoatOnFire wrote:
I never realized that was unusual. I've had erections since I was about 2 or 3 (no orgasming) and always assumed that that was normal. I was also interested in girls very early.


Those are normal. There is nothing that has been discussed so far that's unique to aspies, or even very different about aspies.

The main differences you will see will be in adolescent and adult aspies. The aspie range of sexuality is every bit as broad as it is for other segments of the population, but you will find that we're not as much in a big clump around some median as others are. We're all spread out. The percentage of those who are disinterested in sex will be higher, but you'll also find a higher proportion who are very interested in sex, and/or kinky in one way or another. Bisexuality among aspie females seems to be very common, and homosexuality may also be more prevalent. Among males, it doesn't seem quite so elevated as with the females, but it's probably still higher than the NT rates. (This is based on my own observation, few researchers want to touch a topic like this.)

And that's about all there is to be said on the topic. Other aspie traits (lack of social skills, tendencies to obsess, sensory issues, etc.) will impact on sexuality, but they affect every aspect of life in fairly predictable and consistent ways, so there shouldn't be any surprises.



Averick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,883
Location: My tower upon the crag. Yes, mwahahaha!

25 Oct 2007, 11:21 pm

When i was a child, i used to fondle myself often. Then when i was about seven, my mom thought it was a good idea to teach me of the birds and bees. I immediately ran out of the room because of embarrassment! None of my siblings were being treated in the same manner and i couldn't tolerate it. I used to go to church (i'm gonna burn in hell for this one) and i used to look at jesus and the sign of the cross, and touch myself to his image, because i thought that he was gorgeous! Crazily enough i didn't start to actually masterbate (climax) until i was about 15! I found my new best friend all over again! I kept this up for a few years and then when i was 21 i started to actually date. It was hard, because i didn't want to accept that my right hand couldn't be my best friend still... I am almost 28 now, and i have a real healthy sex life. I pretty much have like 4 revolving mates right now, and i think i should pick out a relationship soon. And stay focused on him, and just him.