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Maggiedoll
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22 Dec 2009, 11:31 am

ellenk55 wrote:
Tog wrote:

When I became professionally aware of the effects of SSRI's I decided to come off them and replaced medication with mindfulness practice and a healthier regime in life. This took 17 months due to side-effects but is well worth it.

I have had no urges to self-harm for some time and use the mindfulness practices on a regular basis which has a global positive effect.


How did you learn the mindfulness practice? Was it from a book, a class . . . .?

~Ellen

:lmao: Mention mindfulness and in pops my mother!! :lol:



ColdBlooded
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23 Dec 2009, 1:27 am

I do it in a few ways. I'll sometimes hit myself or hit my head on things if i'm really upset or frustrated... I think that when i do this it's often an attempt to communicate how i'm feeling to people around me. I mean, my verbal abilities have always been really good, but a lot of the time it still seems like i can't completely get through to people exactly what it is i'm thinking... especially when i'm very frustrated. So it's just the best way i know how to get out what i'm feeling. As a little kid i used to hit my head on the floor and pull my hair sometimes when i was in a bad mood. I also have occasionally cut myself when having a meltdown or something, but i've only done that when away from people. It just sort of focuses me and kind of connects me more to how i'm feeling, if that makes any sense at all. I've also been known to bite my hand or scratch myself with things. I don't really see any of this as all that bad, though. I mean, it's not done with the intent of suicide and none of it has ever been to the level that it could cause death or any real health problems... so, i honestly don't see anything wrong with any of the self-harming i have done. I just see it as simply something i sometimes do. But, yeah...Then there's my habit of skin-picking.. That one, unlike the others, isn't usually done with any intent to hurt myself in mind, it just kind of ends up that way sometimes. In a lot of ways i see it as a sort of complicated stim a lot of the time, and i don't always even think about it when i'm doing it.. It's sort of like when i might not realize that i've been bouncing my foot or rocking for a long time until someone points it out or something makes me think about what i'm doing. Other times i do realize it and just do it to relax. Back when i had acne this was kind of a problem, because all the bumps were something to pick at, and i'd end up having scabs on my face often... I probably looked like a druggie to a lot of people. Nowadays things like creating scabs on my face is pretty rare, i've gotten a little gentler with how i go about picking at my face(plus, less acne), but it's still a habit. The skin under my nails is a favorite spot.. Often i pick there enough that the skin left under the layer i'd picked away is red and irritated, sometimes it might bleed, but not badly. I also pick at the skin on my head, under the hair, a lot. To me this usually doesn't hurt in a bad way, though.. It feels relaxing.



realfrogs
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23 Dec 2009, 2:16 am

I've always bitten or hit myself or slammed my head against floors/walls/furniture out of frustration, and during meltdowns my self-harm becomes simultaneously terrifying and soothing. It provides some kind of "escape" for moments when I feel there is none; something reliable and overwhelming to disrupt something psychologically intolerable. Even if the overwhelming sense is physical pain, it's preferable to complete mental chaos/overload/alarm sounds. But though it has its balancing function in my life, my self-harm also sends me into self-loathing cycles, because I don't want to hurt myself, and I don't want other people to see it (because it's terrifying and emotionally distressing to them). I've bruised my face badly enough that I had to miss work for a few days, and cracked a rib (by punching it a lot). I have always felt that it's some (unconscious) attempt to communicate something I can't verbalize.


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Spazzergasm
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23 Dec 2009, 12:06 pm

yes....i get strong urges to hurt myself. i used to cut, but the scars are too embarassing...lst time i self-harmed, i was punching the wardrobe and concrete wall until my fist was brusied and swollen. it does feel good in a way. like you're getting what you deserve. or the pain just simply feels good...releasing.



CockneyRebel
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23 Dec 2009, 4:39 pm

I did when I was younger, before I moved out. I haven't harmed myself in a little over three years, now.


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stranger3010
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23 Dec 2009, 5:55 pm

I used to cut myself. When I felt numb it helped me to feel more alive.