I'm crazy. Always have been.

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Well I'm pretty f*****g far from sane. I don't know for a fact that other people don't have the kinds of thoughts that assail me from time to time, but I'm pretty sure that they don't. And I KNOW that most people wouldn't behave the way I do sometimes, or shoot off their mouths the way I do sometimes. I also know that when I get stuck on a topic I bore the hell out of people in no time at all. I've gotten used to my wife's vacant gazes when I'm talking about jazz.
Do you dance? Now I can't dance worth a damn, but I've always danced by myself. It's really just moving around on the floor with my arms in the air, although I try to do it artfully. Makes me feel better. Don't need music. I love to dance for my cats. Of course they don't know what the hell I'm doing but that makes it even more funny. I've always had an understanding of animals, whatever that may mean.
Man it's a pretty cool life though. Jazz makes it a lot better. Haven't tried it? It's the perfect music for people with asperger's, trust me on that one. Go out and get some Thelonious Monk.
By the way, what is "Emu Egg?" It says that next to my user name. I know I didn't put it there. I'd rather not have anything there, but if I WAS going to put something there it wouldn't be "Emu Egg."

I think we should consider sainity in terms of delusion. Who's really crazy, the crazy acting person who is fully aware of who and how they are, or the normal acting person who is totally delusional?

If you really were crazy, you'd think you were perfectly sane, in fact a genius, its everyone else who has the problem, they can't see the flawless logic in your plan for world destruction. See what I mean?
Your fine, just not used to being different yet.
I don't know what thoughts you are talking about, but I can f*****g GUARANTEE that you do not have the kinda thoughts that I have, and especially not the ones I have to fight off all day and night!
Ranting on about a topic with no regard for the listener is a typical AS trait, I do it all the time. A stronger relationship with animals than with humans is one also. An obsession with one topic is also a major trait, but that doesn't mean we will all share an obsession with the same topic. In other words, I would get bored to tears listening to jazz whether you say its perfect for aspies or not, while NT's would probably be more tolerant towards it. I can't speak for everyone here, but I know that is how my mind works as a result of my AS. So instead I have a raging obsession with metal, that is the perfect music for me and I don't care if its not for others.
So you may seem slightly "crazy" in comparison to NT's, but you seem downright sane to me.
BTW, post more and the emu egg thing will change to something else. It keeps changing till you get to 500 posts, and you can change it to whatever you want after 1000.

Is a butterfly better?

You don't sound crazy, from your last post I get the impression you are different, extroverted - and pretty happy. Maybe you have a tendency to hyperfocus - can be a trait of AS

'crazy' has bad connotations.

That sounds nuts.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.

"I've always been crazy, but it's kept me from going insane" - Waylon Jennings -
Lyrics

Yes, I much prefer the butterfly. And I AM happy, as long as I'm doing the thing I do the best and love to do, which is why I prefer to keep to myself unless I'm working with other musicians. But when I HAVE to "go somewhere" I get very, very stressed out.
And let's not forget that the pills make a big difference. I can actually sleep now, and I don't get all twisted up inside anymore, for the most part anyway. As I said earlier, I know what to avoid now.
I'd rather spend all my time composing music. I've got my music room nice and cozy now. I can be down here all day, long into the night, working on music. Here, everything makes sense.

Jazzguy welcome sir! Its wonderful that you can use your musical talent as an outlet for all your crazy energy.

good news!! I think having plenty of time to focus on what is of interest - knowing how to manage your life (what to avoid) - and plenty of me time makes an someone with AS happier.

Crazy comes with the territory. Glad to hear another one finds the means to be content.

The original Catch-22, I believe. If you think you are crazy, the odds are you are not. Every girl I have never asked out has, at some point, said, "you must be mad/crazy". And after a while, I decided I was, because that must be the reason I act different to everyone. Then I found out about AS, OCD and ADHD (PIT), and figured I'm not crazy, just wired different to most people. As soon as I accepted that, and the fact that I don't need to act like a sheep in nearly all situations, the happier I became. Except my one and only (so far) ex, who, as a psychology grad, told me I wasn't crazy, just different. She could see something, but not having specialised in it, couldn't make it out.

For ten years I had been wearing this mask of NTness, to try and fit in around my friends. And it worked. So well in fact, that when I hit 25 this year, and decided that it was time to be me, everyone was really surprised that I was a mold-breaker. I may not look it around them, but I am so much happier, safe in the knowledge of my difference.

Sifting through the websites until I found WP, my new second home, was a revelation in itself. Look around and see how many people there are here, not so much the same, but all blessed by their differences. It's not called a spectrum for nothing.

oh dont be so hard on yerself my man. for me, once i learned how to stop living up to others peoples expectations life drasticly improved..abit