A Paradox. A Paradox. A most ingenious Paradox.

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a paradox.

Well, actually, it's irony. Whatever. I got to quote G&S.

I was diagnosed AS at 8. I've learned all the NT things about not stimming, looking in eye, etc. Now, I'm ironically relearning to be autistic. I'm trying out stims, avoid eye-contact with close friends and a full explanation. It helps. Has this phenomenon occurred with anyone else?

Telling yourself to behave "normal" when it goes against the very fiber of your existence certainly does not help. Perhaps you were very stressed, and permitting yourself to behave as you find natural is relieving this?

I think you should just be however is comfortable for you now and not try to learn any traits no matter which category it fits in just for the sake of fitting the category.

This is pretty much the case with me. I taught myself to be NT (not very successfully, I was still left as an outsider) and now that I've come to accept myself the way I am, I'm slowly drifting towards Aspergerish behaviour and it feels very relieving. I'm learning in the way that I'm finding these sides from myself, but not in the way that I decide to act like an AS person would.

It's not that it's uncomfortable nor that I want to regain to be more autistic; it's just been socially removed from me. So I sit there talking to someone, wondering why I'm anxious, eventually realise that I'm maintaining eye-contact, break the eye-contact, and feel better. It's all just become conscious, esp. certain stims. However, it's really nice. (Hmmm rocking).

We've quips and quibbles heard in flocks, but none to beat this paradox!

That brought back memories...


(Sorry to have nothing to do with your actual topic...)

I went through a similar stage.

I didn't discover AS till end of my 26th year though. The stims I had habitually been suppressing (learned from years of bullying) broke out with a vengeance. However it is important to remember that stims are not a cause, they are an outcome.

Once I identified what was causing me to stim (i.e. stressful situations or thought patterns) I began to apply the serenity prayer (see my sig) to change what I could, and avoid what I could. An learning to accept the stim in those situations where I couldn't.

But yes, my favourite stim (though it is somewhat voluntary) is spinning. I have a swivel chairs all over the house and love to spin on them. On the kitchen stools I have found that I can spin a total of 24 full revolutions from one push off! It almost seems to be a primal joy. Heck, I don't even know if that is a stim, or me just being a childish goose!

When I first found this site and learned about stims, I suddenly realized that I used to stim a lot. I had drastically reduced the amount of stimming I did because I was frequently punished for it. Now that there's no one who can harm me if I stim, I started trying it out again. I found it to be relaxing, so I kept doing it.

I thought a pair o docs was when you wanted a 2nd opinion...