I feel like going mute

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I feel so stressed with life at the moment. I just wanna lie down, never speak, so I don't have to answer my Mum's nagging. Just either have ear plugs in, or be lisening to music. Just staying in my room and only coming out when the house is empty.

What about getting own place to stay in?
If have support needs as well,there are various options,to get out of family home.
Seems like it might be the only way out to have a completely quiet place of own.

I'd miss my Cat too much. Plus I love my home, I just don't like the stress in it.

Hi.

I'm completely fine with muteness.
But your mum isn't.
She is probably suffering from the personality disorder of high emotional exporation.

And as such is never CALM enough to percieve or RELAX enough to engage in the activities around her in a way that BENIFITS say, you, here, or the HEALTH of her dominion.

But never fear! Sometime, long after you reach adulthood, say 25's-30's you will have FINALLY achieved enough EMOTIONAL AFFRONTS, to just learn the true meaning of 'Just say No'.

You see.... Just say No, is not about dope, or rape, or whether or not you should steal that ead of lettuce because your friends have convinced you that that is the PURPOSE of what stores are for.

No is a statement of being. It is a continuing, resolved stubborness.

No, mum, I will not be all emotionally exuburant (and crazy) WITH YOU. I will say NO to this, by remaining CALM-where you cannot; by using my SLOW AND SOFT voice to counter the ENVIRONMENTAL EVIL of your loud (and crazy) assault on the ENVIRONMENT and fabric of SOUND. And to COUNTER "Our Family's" Allottment of Universal Buzz Time: FOR THE GOOD OF ALL MANKIND (and the neighbors, police, embarrassed friends, ect) -I Will Not Speak. Not that I would know how TO SPEAK with all that blah blah blah as my only GUIDE...

Luckily, it is not against the law to not be EMOTIONALLY EXUBERANT (and crazy).
Not the legal guide anyways.
However, it IS AGAINST the guide of the ruling class of EMOTIONALLY EXUBERANT (crazy people)...(who in time will fade away to their )

As such, and until such time, ye have been named target. Target for lacking the speech to even ask to learn the speech.

But never FEAR! And HOLD FAST! Listen closely to the silence, and the smiles, and the eyes of those around in the greater world--as fleeting as they may seem.

Be Who You Are Going To Be
And Be Happy With You.

This chic offers a GREAT guide about selective mutism (and readings in general about all types of related extended auti stuff)

She has aspergers--so it is VERY UNDERSTANDABLE.

http://www.creative-minds.info/index_files/Speech.htm (MUTISM)


no one stands in your shoes so no one can really know the EXACT element and emotions and connections that you deal with, not even enough to offer a PRECISE response to guide you to a RESOLUTION-if there is one outside of JUST HANGING ON TILL YOU REACH YOUR FUTURE.

But--true, people are here to "try" and help; and, outside of jumping into your house and being the ruling family counselor-which they can't per persnickity rule of the universe, they can offer hints and clues and ramblings and lost essays found by chance--by which you my dear are held the task of ignoring the unimportant and ripping out the relevant (not literally, that is just messy-and appears crazy: to the crazy), and using these gleanings of the best of world knowledge to your continuation and contribution: TO YOURSELF, and thus to us all.

I though, would reccomend to maybe try this and gage the response to see what happens or what feasability it has on your mother and thus on your household and health and general mental well being--and in the end--Its NOT YOUR FAULT. Your the child for craps sake---why should you be taking the role of the adult? Because it is the only way the right thing may get done. Considering YOU ARE THE CHILD and SHE IS THE 'ALL POWERFUL' ADULT. AND IF SHE WERE VERY GOOD AT IT HER CHILD WOULD NOT BE RESORTING TO .........MUTISM!! !!


(apply all of this to the rest of the world of all powerful grownups--they wont tell you they dont know either--and when your one of them, it's difficult, but you will see it)

Anyways...
Try the writing method and (PRAY) that she can read. Not just read. But read read. Read and Understand Read.

Tell her how you feel (write it). Tell her what she does that makes you not able to speak. Tell her you may have a hard time speaking anyways. Explain to her WHY this may be. "I know it is hard to understand, but what is going on in my head does not exit my mouth like normal people. Science eludes that this may be because of brain receptors"

Print off articles and leave them spyishly around the home.

SHE may not know the TERM. You know.....the WHATSITCALLED of the matter.

Be brave.

This writing thing works between me and my son well.
I dont want him sad or mute or withdrawn. I want to understand when and if he is. Alot of it (my (any) problems with HIS BEHAVIOR) is just because--he is not me.

There is a GROWING up to mothers too. You see..mothers spend in practice years, YEARS repetively doing certain things. Changing diapers, feeding, loving.

Your mom is at a reassessing point. I don't think she is yet seeing the right action to the new developmental change in her kid. You are now thinking for yourself (not that you weren't before) but you are now thinking OF yourself and what NEAR OR PERCIEVABLY OF YOUR CONTROL that you like or dislike. And maybe you would just like somebody thinking of your feelings and treating you like a FRIEND. Especially your mother.

This is where compromise must enter your life.
It's not ok to toy with her feelings.

It should be ok to tell (write) her how you feel.
You might just find out what kind of creature she really is.
As a person if she is willing to change (if she is not crazy) you MUST give her the life time to make those adjustments and mistakes of change. For instance, waiting for approval to enter your room. (I would suggest never saying no-again this is a compromise of knocking and time ect). Not washing your clothes, ect.

Pick up your responsibilities as you can define them.

And just try to understand that she is going to be she and you are going to be you and in the middle is the FACT, THE REVELATION, AND THE COMPROMISE OR THE DISASTER.

ie: THE LETTER.


good luck! <insert long distance big sister tassling of the hair and well meant grin-cloaking sad disturbed eyes borne of another matter long ago and far away>

it il all be o.k....

http://www.creative-minds.info/

Anyways..
here is an example. you could try to use the framework (not overuse!) with your mother.

for instance,

You: (lets use my 'hair tassling' as an example, shall we? In place of whateveritis that your mum does over and over and over (for instance, was it nagging?) (sorry if your offended by the way))

ok-here goes, again.

You: "Please do not tassle my hair (insert why), I do not like it" or simply "Don't do that I don't like it!"

or rather, "Please do not nag me-it frustrates me and ruins my day"

Me or Mom or Siblings or Whoever (running is good in the case of strangers )

Return action: She (or whoever is worth the time of your time) doesn't seem to register your request as valid or even there and so They/she (again this is about your mom, but whoever) tassles your hair again. Or in THIS CASE: NAGGGGGGGGGS.

You: Repeat. (as in music, do you play music-it helped my auti cognition growing up-when I had it*) "Please do not nag me. I hate it when you nag me. Please STOP NAGGING ME!"

*(if she is repeat nagging you about 'a thing' you should look at your non action as the assault on her*)

(I go through this with my son and his laundry) I don't care what he does with it-but he better do SOMETHING with it.) Im at fault here for not providing him an auti designed hamper.

Look. You've done this.
1. youve stated that you consider the ACTION of the other as assault. (assault to your senses or heart is still assault. the matter here is whether you are assaulting her or she is assaulting you: this is where WHAT IS RATIONAL comes into play.)

Side Note: What Is Rational????



2. repeated
3. if it keeps happening (later you will learn about mitigating circumstances) without just cause then it is the other person WITH KNOWLEDGE assaulting you. In a manner of speaking. She'd likely be horrified to know. But that is part of the Mommy growing up.

She really needs to come to bat here. But so do you mr almost grown up.

An Example: For the most part I do not need to nag my son. Sometimes though my just speaking is considered by him to be the intro to nagging. That hurts my feelings. And taking my own prescription I let him know. Then he feels terrible. And I feel terrible.
I didn't mean to even ALMOST hurt his feelings.
In his assumption that 'seeing' me = NAG; he missed something vital.

Within the next few days the dishes are washed or dinner is brought to me. This is how in retropect I know he cares. Even though I can't relate it to an exact point in time. Or say anything back. In after thought I realize, he was saying sorry. Or just .. I love you. Mommies forget too.

It's a juggle. But a good family figures it out. We are all individuals of our own merit. Never forget that.
Also too-you have aspergers or autism or sensory dysfunction or that uniqueness yet undefined. This is largely family travelled. She may have it too. You might try watching her to try to see which one-and how you can best to your moments of emotional well being, navigate that.


Some problems arrive with mutism.
One, it becomes VERY HARD to speak: when you need to.


I do not offer this advice as any certified professional.
It might be totally QUACK.
It has worked for me as an adult with a child or spouse-but never really with the public in general.

I didn't have my own experience to draw from when I was a child. A selectively mute and forcefully muted child. Trying to communicate with a really weird really alien conflicting information world.

This is a DUCK: quack. quack. quack. quack. quack. quack.

What is a QUACK: duck. duck. duck. duck. duck. duck. duck?

I do this most of the time. I go on talking/input diets. I just don't talk. I take out the phone and go *inwards* and filter out EVERYTHING that doesn't nurture my soul.

Monks do it. Hermits do. Heck, aspies do it too.

Go for it - you don't owe anyone any explanations - do it for you. And when/if you want to come back and integrate - that's fine too. Whatever you need.

I get that feeling too and I just want my parents to leave me alone. Try going outside for a walk with the music on.