Intense love for people you never knew or met?

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I've had it for Kimveer Gill the latest Montreal school shooter, because not only did I identify hik but he also had good taste in certain things and I admired him and his style. It seemed so horrible, so monstrous and unfair that he was treated like crap or like nothing, like he didn't exist, or like something less important than he was, that he didn't get what he needed, the stimulation he NEEDED, and I cried for him. And he was Mr. Potential.

I also loved his victim Anastasia DeSousa like that briefly, but only for a vewry short while, as I know there were so many others to love her and mourn her loss. AD was what I would have been if certain s**t hadn't happened to me. Well, almost. She was a lot of things I wanted to be. And she was Ms. Potential.

And there are others.

I wish I had known these people in real life; I feel cheated that I didn't; but I think there are probably many others like them, and better... I hope so. I want to surround myself with people like them.

yesterday i was thinking about how i feel intense love/emotion for imaginary people but not really for real humans. i have never liked anyone from movies/TV, but i fall in love or get very attached to book characters or songs, and i can FEEL stuff about them that i never feel in real life. so yes, i love people i haven't met but they are all fake or fiction...

oh wait! i just lied. i used to be very in love with Kurt Cobain and Countney Love.

I fall madly, achingly, desperately in love with writers, many of whom are dead. It's not romantic love, exactly, but rather a worshipful highbrow-fangirl love that blossoms in the presence of genius. Well, the presence of a book by a genius who lived halfway around the world and died more than a century before I was born. But still.

That reminds me-- Gandalf, McMurphy, Dumbledore, Sirius Black... I daydreamed about them, cried when they died or when worse s**t happened to them, I would think about them for weeks and months, think of them when in bed but unable to fall asleep, and get off thinking about them... I loved their difference, the fasct that they had tact while still being different and unconventional, untraditional, unruly... and all the s**t they got up to was right up my alley!

Last edited by Ana54 on 31 Dec 2007, 9:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There would have been people I would have liked to meet. When I was younger I read subscribed to Ranger Rick magazine and it had a story about John Muir the great naturalist and admired him. A lot of people would have wanted to meet great historical figures.

I thought about what it would be like meeting Jesus Christ and seeing what he was really like simply as a person with the religious dogma stripped away.

yes, this too!! and i try not to learn anything about them at all because i don't want to be disappointed because they turn out to be jerks or something, i just like to imagine writers out there in the world existing for me.

OH AND, i do this with band members too, because once a band i liked got ruined for me because i got in a fight with the bassist, and so i can't enjoy LessThanJake now because i think about it. and so then when i met my favorite band, i got all stressed out because they were so nice and i didn't really want to know them because i didn't want it to affect how i felt about the music, and, weirdly, the drummer started calling me-- weirdly, because i had a huge crush on the guitarist who was an excellent kisser... so anyway, i freaked out and probably acted like a nut about it all because i was so upset it was going to end in DRAMA and the music would be messed up for me forever... but i still love it. so all is well.

Yeah, I get attached to certain celebrities, usually some type of artist...I'm not a stalker or anything, haha, but I feel more connected to them than I do to some people I know in real life...

I guess there's a limited number of people out there in the world who I can relate to, and if I can meet and know them in person, perfect. If I never do, oh well.

I get it mostly for people who kill themselves.

Me too. Because I know so few understand and would support their decision as an attempt to SAVE themselves.

Me three. I guess because usually they feel depressed and misunderstood and I feel the same way a lot of the time so I wish I had been able to meet them.

Well, I think just about everyone here can agree with you about honoring wasted potential with love and pouring over what could have been. In my case, I mostly fantasize about opportunities I could have taken with the handfull of girls who were clearly into me if only I'd been able to perceive them.

I mentioned on another thread this week that all my college friends at least sort of identified with school shooters, and would joke about "going Columbine on (someone's/something's) ass". Of course, in the case of the Columbine duo, we were conveniently forgetting their whole Nazi fixation that will forever link their rampage zum Fuehrergeburtstag.

Note: Please don't assume I'm a Nazi supporter just because I minored in German. Ironically, I was studying in Bielefeld (near Hamburg) during the spring semester of '99, therefore missed all the American coverage at the time, and thus didn't know they did it on Hitler's birthday until my roommate told me almost 2 years later.

I probably didn't even spell it right...

And I know that using our 2nd amendment right to physically take out the trash won't actually solve any societal problem in high school or anywhere else. It's just a misanthropic fantasy, which has lost its place in my head since the Transformers revival and my discovery of H.P. Lovecraft.

During a stand-up comedy routine senior year, I DID make the entire room wince in unison. And it felt GREAT!

Because I knew I was really on to something there: for just 10 second's, I'd smacked everyone's perspective upside the head.

Now if some of us here can find a way to apply that to the entire world without actual violence...

Oh, back to the main point of the thread, I've often thought about becoming a suicide-hotline operator, simply because it could be so fascinating to talk to potential suicide cases, and learn exactly how each person's life could lead to scripting it's own ending. Not sure if it's the inherant potential wasted in each and every suicide, or that the people society convinces to forfeit their place in the gene pool are usually the only ones worth knowing anyway.

Dunwich, I used to want to be a suicide hotline operator too, because I identified with those people, and before that a 911 operator!

Last edited by Ana54 on 31 Dec 2007, 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I cried when Elliott Smith died.

I feel very affectionate (doesn't seem quite the right word but oh well) about a man named Gerard, who killed himself. That's about all I know about him... didn't even hear about him until a decade or two after his death. When I was Catholic I used to pray for him a lot.

My mother finds it horrifying that I would love people who die like that. I don't understand why, really. To me, lives that burn themselves out like that, so quickly... it's like they capture something so bittersweet and horrible that we all experience as humans, and they spotlight it... then also you want to hug them and make it all better, but you can't, not for them. Ah, I'm having trouble analyzing it. Part of it is a desire to help and part of it is relief at the fact that we're not alone in our sufferings, even if we suffer alone.

Yes absolutely.

I used to have intense feelings for Richard III as he was deeply misunderstood and wrongly portrayed by historians after his death.

Right now I would do anything to be able to spend some time with Tim McVeigh.

I get this, too.

It's nice to show you admired someone that bursts into a college and murders young people. You are sick in the head and need help.