Are you a control freak??

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Do you have to maintain control of most situations to the point of "melt down"?

I used to have this problem. Many a folk would tell me I would die a lonely death because of it too.

To a point, yes. I typically like being the boss although I'll let someone else every now and again have a go at it, too. So I guess it's not so bad.

My honest answer is, I don't know. It depends on how you define control freak. I like to feel in control of a situation, or at least know what's ahead of me so I can deal with it. However, I'm not real keen on asserting control over people unfairly. I can follow orders as easily as I can give them, so long as I think they are fair and just.

Pretty much yes I am. I tend to trust my own skills more than other's in most situations, so I like to be the one doing the work, controlling the project, or whatever. However, I do know that there are lots of things, mostly practical and domestic things, that I am terrible at, and I am quick to defer to someone more skilled in those areas when appropriate. I am bad at compromising, and find it impossible to do something with a friend if I am not interested in the activity except in very exceptional circumstances (eg, I will watch a movie that I have no interest in if my hot date REALLY wants to watch it). I think I confuse my friends sometimes because I want to hang out with them, but if they are watching a Bond movie, I will turn down the invitation, because I would much rather just read or listen to my music than sit through a boring movie even if I really value my friends' company and would love to spend time with them.

Yes. I find it extremely hard to force myself to delegate something to somebody, it causes my OCD behavior to trigger and I start trying to do everyone's job.

It depends on the situation.

I'm definitely a control freak about my house. I can't stand messes, distractions, strange people in my house, or other people touching my stuff. I've had constant arguments my whole life with whomever I lived with at the time about cleaning, their company, using my things, and noise levels. I try to be accomodating, but it seems like I have always lived with people who want to stay up until 2-3 am listening to music with three or four of their friends over. Ideally, whoever I live with would never have company over, would only listen to music during the day, and would go to bed by midnight. But I know not everyone is as boring as me!

In my dealings with other people I'm not sure which way I go. I think I definitely prefer to hang back and let other people lead me when it comes to friendships or relationships, because I'm so unaware of social cues and often feel like I don't know what to do. I don't initiate conversations, and feel totally clueless about knowing how to entertain people or make them happy, so I usually wait for other people to approach me and then just tag along with whatever they're doing.

Yes, but no one thinks so. I'm known as a passive person who goes along with everything - because I do, in most situations. But when I commit to going some place with friends, I usually have to know the exact plan. Otherwise I feel bored and trapped, like I have no 'out.' I usually insist on picking the movie, so I don't have to suffer thru a cheesy chickflick. I tend to dictate who can come with us, because I really can't tolerate some people. I'm kind of inflexible in this way, but usually, except with one friend who always changes plans so I have to be firm with her, I simply choose not to participate in going out if I don't like the plans, so that I don't seem like a b***h by dictating how the night is going to go. No one calls me a control freak because in most cases I go along with things and get along with people who have strong personalities, but I can be uptight about what we're doing and with who.

Look i'm not a control freak, I don't want you starting any more threads, your not aloud, cause I said so, ok

quirky's post reminded me that whenever I go somewhere with people, I insist on bringing my own car so I can leave whenever I want to. I definitely get that "trapped" feeling if I know I can't leave.

I've been described as such.

In my opinion I'm not. I usually sit back and let whatever happens, happen. But when I know that my expertise is needed and I'm the one who will get the job done right, or my advice or way of doing things will be useful to everyone else, then I'm pretty assertive about it. I guess I feel that because I shut up most of the time that people should know it must be important if I'm actually putting effort into a project, job, situation, whatever. I hold a lot back even when I probably could add something so I only get into "control freak" mode when I'm 100% sure I will be useful.

Yeah, that is a must for me as well.

That sounds exactly like me. If i'm stuck somewhere I go into panic mode. I can be a bit rude, which isn't ususally like me

Yeah, I try to do things like this, but most of my friends don't understand why - they love spending as much time with their friends as possible. I like to do an activity, and then leave - not 10 spontaneous activities. I get drained quickly, so a mall trip, a movie, or a sleepover is enough. One of my friends always insists on a mall trip, then a movie, then a sleepover, when I only signed up for the sleepover lol. Then she invites random people. I don't go out into Boston to frat houses at college at all - not just because I don't enjoy partying, but because I have an immense fear of being trapped there since I don't want to walk back through Boston alone at night. I always like to have an excuse or some way out, in case plans start spiraling and I'm "done." I just panic when I feel like plans are changing around me and I can't follow the plan I had - it's not rational reaction because it's not like the plans have turned dangerous or anything, I just can't stand not knowing what we're doing, when we're doing it, and with who.

ETA: Yeah, about being rude, that happens to me too. Usually I'd never be rude or harsh or bitchy, but when the one friend I keep talking about changes plans after I've explicitly explained to her that they need to go one way because I have to be back home for dinner or whatever, I start getting really pissed. My parents get angry because she's always late and never follows the plans, so I end up being late or caught up in something, and she sees no problem with it. I mean, she has like an obsession with shopping and just doesn't understand the concept of doing what she said she would. So after she's been trying on shirts in one store for an hour and a half after she told me it would just be "10 minutes", I start really flipping out and getting kind of nasty - I always feel really bad afterwards because it's not like me, but I get so stressed and irritated that I flip out. When she calls me, if I tell her I can go over to her house at 8, she's like "Well how about instead we meet at the mall at 5, then go to dinner, then stop by Rachel's, then go back to my house?" It gets so annoying that I just have to say "Look, I told you my plans, that's the final answer, ok?" It's so unlike me to be forceful, but the stress over plans makes me behave this way.

Nice.

sort of. I like to be in control of my own situation. However, being in the repair business, my work is based on random chance and accident, so I can deal with chaos as a long career has enabled me..