Do you get jealous of people with better people skills?

Page 1 of 3 [ 41 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Space
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,082

30 Dec 2007, 5:16 am

I noticed I am always getting upset around friends who have better social skills. I hate how they can effortlessly make conversation with other people, especially with women, and make everyone laugh without any effort. I can tell how much they are liked by other people, and it really angers me some times. I try so hard to figure out how to get people to like me and what to say, and it just comes natural to these people, yet I can't think of anything to say without people thinking I am off-beat and kind of strange. Sometimes I try to say I have AS and it is hard for me, but people just can't seem to understand or offer a solution.



SleepyDragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,829
Location: One f?tid lair or another.

30 Dec 2007, 7:52 am

Space wrote:
Do you get jealous of people with better people skills?


YES.

Not only that, but it gives me the irrits something chronic when some-or-other random third party gets mentioned in conversation and everybody is all, "Isn't she just the most lovely person, goes to visit her aunty every week, always rings you up to see how you're going, blah, blah, blah." Oh, let's have the medal engraved at once then, shall we.

Gah! :evil:



edal
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 739
Location: Gyor, Hungary

30 Dec 2007, 7:54 am

Anyone with a pulse has better social skills than me, which means that they get more friends, better jobs and have a more active social life. Sometimes this makes me jealous and sometimes it makes me angry but most of the time I deal with it and move on.

Ed Almos



kxmode
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,613
Location: In your neighborhood, knocking on your door. :)

30 Dec 2007, 7:54 am

i could be a botanist from all the hours i stare at potted planets in parties. :(

what's that? my wall is moving. i gotta go. 8O


_________________
A Proud Witness of Jehovah God (JW.org)
Revelation 21:4 "And [God] will wipe out every tear from their eyes,
and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore.
The former things have passed away."


samtoo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,753
Location: England

30 Dec 2007, 7:58 am

It can irritate me to an unhealthy degree...

Sometimes I don't think they neccesarilly have better people skills but different people skills, which conform to a way of life where such skills are more suited.


_________________
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.


KristaMeth
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 926
Location: Hick town near Harrisburg?Pa

30 Dec 2007, 8:02 am

No. I used to, but I'm at a beautiful point of self acceptance in that area, and I don't really care anymore.


_________________
Push the envelope, watch it bend.


Jayutimestwo
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 65

30 Dec 2007, 8:07 am

YES. Especially when they use them to get things that I want and deserve more. Life IS just like highschool and being liked IS more important then being smart and competant.



Mw99
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Age: 120
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,088

30 Dec 2007, 8:15 am

Space wrote:
I noticed I am always getting upset around friends who have better social skills. I hate how they can effortlessly make conversation with other people, especially with women, and make everyone laugh without any effort. I can tell how much they are liked by other people, and it really angers me some times. I try so hard to figure out how to get people to like me and what to say, and it just comes natural to these people, yet I can't think of anything to say without people thinking I am off-beat and kind of strange. Sometimes I try to say I have AS and it is hard for me, but people just can't seem to understand or offer a solution.


No. People skills don't have any intrinsic value. They are just a mean to achieve a goal.



Keoren
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 272

30 Dec 2007, 8:17 am

No. I generally don't really feel jealous of anything as I don't see much point in it. Rather put the energy into self-improvement.



KristaMeth
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Oct 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 926
Location: Hick town near Harrisburg?Pa

30 Dec 2007, 8:40 am

Keoren wrote:
No. I generally don't really feel jealous of anything as I don't see much point in it. Rather put the energy into self-improvement.


QFT.

I really like your avatar, btw. It's really beautiful.


_________________
Push the envelope, watch it bend.


Scramjet
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 178

30 Dec 2007, 9:32 am

Envious of other people's social skills...? No. During the years I've sorta' kinda' learned to get by to some extent. I know I'm far from "perfect" in this field, but in the right "settings" I get by just fine...



howzat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,802
Location: Hornsey North London

30 Dec 2007, 10:01 am

No not really im just happy da way i am. 8)



Stereokid
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 481

30 Dec 2007, 10:44 am

edal wrote:
Anyone with a pulse has better social skills than me, which means that they get more friends, better jobs and have a more active social life. Sometimes this makes me jealous and sometimes it makes me angry but most of the time I deal with it and move on.

Ed Almos



I don't move on! WHen I get jealous of other people who have better jobs or any signs that their life is better than mine, I whine about it excessively to my parents and/or therapist until they help me get what I want, hopefully through coaching.

I am a human being, and I deserve to become an accountant. I will not be content with accounting clerk or bookkeeper for the rest of my life. I have obsessions that cost a lot of money, but I will not give them up just for a low-paying job just because I have Asperger's.



Stereokid
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 481

30 Dec 2007, 10:46 am

Oh yeah, and did I mention that at work, lots of customers compliment me on how nice I am? Not to mention also that a lot of the coworkers try to talk and joke around with me, and the store manager there shows lots of enthusiasm when I talk to him.



kitschinator
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 16 Dec 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 156

30 Dec 2007, 11:04 am

No, when I run across a really charming, witty person, I'm really fascinated by it, and try to learn from them. Every once in a while someone like that will talk to me, and they're so good at it that I leave the conversation feeling smart, witty, and funny. I find that I can really enjoy and do well at holding up my end in a conversation with a person who has really great social skills. Which I think is what their appeal is - people who are charming make everybody else feel great too!

I mean, I wish it was a skill I had naturally, but I just accept that I don't and try to pick up what I can. Sometimes I can glean a good joke or one-liner from it. :D



Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,630
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

30 Dec 2007, 11:20 am

Very rarely, I feel jealous.
A lot of the time, I feel bad about myself for not possessing the same skills.
Usually, I observe what they do and learn from it.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I