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bear7699
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08 Feb 2008, 1:16 am

I think the reason that I am so quiet is not because I don't have anything to say. But I know that if I do just be myself and say what I feel like saying it will be too weird and piss people off, or it might sound childish. And that is why I don't talk a lot around people. The few words that I do say I can tell people look at me weird, so I don't keep saying stuff.

I am able to talk a lot around my family. But one day I observed my speaking habits with them, and I realized that they were very abnormal from the way other people converse. I think the only reason that they put up with me is because they are my family, and the only reason I speak freely around them is because I know that they will put up with me. I can always tell that they see me as weird and "misbehaved".

I used to think that everybody was just stupid, but now I realize that I am the problem.



Reyairia
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08 Feb 2008, 2:17 am

It's frustrating.
If I keep my mouth shut I come off as rude and the anxiety of not voicing my feelings has an effect on my speech.
On the other hand, if I do open my mouth I talk too much, too loud and appear stupid and obnoxious.

How confusing, I don't get it. :?



princesseli
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08 Feb 2008, 2:43 am

Oh yeah I used to have a problem similar to that. In my case, I was shy and extremely hesitant. Socializing confused me beyond belief which is something Im now figuring out of why I didnt talk. I didnt really know how to smoothly get my way into the conversation. So I would mostly blab to my famiy. I dont nessarily say weird things, I just can be really blunt. Im much better now, it just took experiance and skill for me to be more comfortable with talking with people. I still have a lot a problems with communication, but I can just talk to people a lot more smoother I suppose.



jawbrodt
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08 Feb 2008, 3:45 am

I have the same problem. Since I don't seem to be able to produce normal NT conversation on my own, I've taken it upon myself to try and learn a little about as many topics as possible. It took a long time but, now I seem to be able to hold a decent conversation with just about any NT. With practice, it isn't that hard. Most of them really don't seem to go into a great amount of detail about things. Usually, I end up knowing more about their subject than they do.
I said it before and I'll say it again, Knowledge Is Power. :idea:



googlewhack
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08 Feb 2008, 3:53 am

Wow jawbrodt, that's exactly the method I use. If in conversation someone mentions something I know nothing about, I listen intently, and then go off and absorb every piece of information about it and as you said, often end up knowing more than the person in the first place.

This listening habit also means that I know a lot of things about people, just from picking up facts by listening, but that actually stunts conversation a bit, because I don't see the point in asking someone something that I already know the answer to, and since I know a lot because I listen and absorb, I don't have much need to talk.



Syd
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08 Feb 2008, 4:02 am

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far." -Theodore Roosevelt

Oh and Freud, you stay out of this.



jawbrodt
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08 Feb 2008, 4:04 am

googlewhack wrote:
Wow jawbrodt, that's exactly the method I use. If in conversation someone mentions something I know nothing about, I listen intently, and then go off and absorb every piece of information about it and as you said, often end up knowing more than the person in the first place.

This listening habit also means that I know a lot of things about people, just from picking up facts by listening, but that actually stunts conversation a bit, because I don't see the point in asking someone something that I already know the answer to, and since I know a lot because I listen and absorb, I don't have much need to talk.



Its amazing how you think your the only one, and then.... :)



polarity
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08 Feb 2008, 5:01 am

I tend to sound confused when I speak, as I've got aphasia (I forget the words and end up talking rubbish while I try and find another way to convey the right meaning), and metadiesis (Spoonerisms, where you mix up parts of words). I think it's a lot like stuttering though, where it is a lot worse when you've got no confidence. Having anxiety problems doesn't help though.



googlewhack
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08 Feb 2008, 5:08 am

Polarity, I'm exactly the same. I've always put it down to anxiety.



RampionRampage
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08 Feb 2008, 5:42 am

jawbrodt wrote:
I have the same problem. Since I don't seem to be able to produce normal NT conversation on my own, I've taken it upon myself to try and learn a little about as many topics as possible. It took a long time but, now I seem to be able to hold a decent conversation with just about any NT. With practice, it isn't that hard. Most of them really don't seem to go into a great amount of detail about things. Usually, I end up knowing more about their subject than they do.
I said it before and I'll say it again, Knowledge Is Power. :idea:



this works particularly well if you conduct your own studies/observations of language and colloquialisms.
issue: if i am familiar with a particular patten of speech, i might accidentally start imitating it. in the south with my biological family, this is okay. here in philly, where i am mainly around black people all day with a particular speech pattern (i am white) i am concerned that i might accidentally say something in that pattern and majorly offend someone, or be made fun of. especially while in the city proper, where i've been accused of racism because i didn't hear or acknowledge someone (neither being the result of race. i am hearing impaired and sometimes just plain communication impaired, especially if i've had a long day and find the city a bit too overwhelming).



pakled
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08 Feb 2008, 6:41 am

I just feel I have nothing interesting to say. Like everything out of my mouth should be fascinating; but that would require me to be fascinating. Well, maybe in a morbid sort of way...;)



howzat
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08 Feb 2008, 8:44 am

I don't talk a lot cos i find it difficult 2 make an conversation wid NTs as they might pick out niggles tings n sometyms i talk 2 much n NTs would say u talk way 2 much so wot do i do.



k96822
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08 Feb 2008, 9:37 am

Heck, I wish I could shut-up. I've even searched the net looking for advice. I can't stay quiet because, if I do, everyone assumes I am angry or upset and they have to BUG me over it. I can't converse non-verbally, so I wind-up compensating for it by talking too much. The things I say are always considered, at best, weird, and at worst, downright offensive, usually through the 2nd or 3rd degree (for example, I once talked about how I hate the Health Care system in a bar with my friends and one of my friend's Dad and they got very upset with me because it was political. However, it is political in the 2nd degree -- and this was years ago before Hillary made it 1st degree political. They were liberal too, so I figured it was safe. It wasn't. In fact, the Dad was visibly annoyed, according to one of my friends, and of course I missed-it. "Politics and religion are rarely good topics," my friend told me. I wasn't aware Health Care was politics [remember, this was not a hot topic at the TIME]!)



k96822
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08 Feb 2008, 9:39 am

howzat wrote:
I don't talk a lot cos i find it difficult 2 make an conversation wid NTs as they might pick out niggles tings n sometyms i talk 2 much n NTs would say u talk way 2 much so wot do i do.


I found this kinda hard to read. 8O



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08 Feb 2008, 9:51 am

For me it's simple: I usually don't talk because I either don't want to say what's on my mind or don't feel like saying what's on my mind.

They look similar, but there's a subtle difference.


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k96822
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08 Feb 2008, 10:23 am

SilverProteus wrote:
For me it's simple: I usually don't talk because I either don't want to say what's on my mind or don't feel like saying what's on my mind.

They look similar, but there's a subtle difference.


How do you deal with people bugging you about being so quiet?