Delayed Reaction to Stress

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Does anyone here have what I call a delayed reaction to stress?

I have two different reactions - immediate and delayed. If it's a loud sudden noise or strong smell or glaring light in my eyes, something sensory I react (overreact) immediately.

But I've always been someone who will volunteer for something no one else would do, like driving some ungodly distance in one day straight through in order to help someone out. I don't recognize beforehand what the harm would be (and I don't seem to get why no one else would do it) so I just jump in. I do the thing, no matter if it's going without sleep for 24 hours or no matter how much harm it does to me, and then LATER after everything is over with, I completely fall apart.

My husband has seen me do this for years on different jobs. Be the one who stays all night working the project, doesn't sleep, gets it all done, barely get a pat on the back for it and then a day later have non stop anxiety attacks and I usually get physically ill. It usually lasts for weeks, the anxiety and illness. But it was triggered by that one event that I seem to get through just fine (too well, actually. People always comment on how they could never have done that and great I did).

Yesterday was one of those times. My daughter needed me to drive her and my granddaughter to the airport. It's a huge international airport, 2 hours one way, and I've never been there alone before. I kept saying this is a bad idea but no one else could ride with me and she needed me to take her so I overrode my better judgement and went. Needless to say I drove them in, found my way, went all the way to the gate with them and helped them with everything, bought them dinner, but then when I left them to leave I just fell apart. Cried most of the way home which caused me to miss a turn, I was totally lost and then it was snowing heavy and I had a meltdown. No idea where I was, it was so bad.

It took me 4 hours to get home instead of 2 and when I did get home I was crying all over again from missing them, had major anxiety, could not sit down or stand still, and just kept walking around in circles from room to room for several hours. I had a fever and chills all night, and woke a dozen different times over and over. Today I'm sick.

If you saw me at the airport yesterday, I was doing pretty good. I was helping my daughter with everything, making sure she had everything she needed, helping her to find her way to the gate (she's never flown before) and it seemed fine. It seemd NORMAL.

Then the complete break down/fall apart afterward.

Does anyone else get themselves into situations like that where they think it won't be so bad and I can do this and then later you fall apart?

earthmom,

What you've just described is a meltdown.

They're not always temper tantrums - they're sort of emotional overflows - and we all get them from time to time.

What you seem to be is, what my wife refers to as; "a sucker for punishment".

If you subject yourself to that sort of stress level, you do have to expect that meltdowns will eventually ensue.

It's ok.

I had a day yesterday where it was exactly that - I held on until I got home, but then I needed to let it all out.

It's definitely ok.

I can understand how you must feel.

Thank you so much for your understanding, Gavin.

I have never been able to find this anywhere else in my entire life except here on WP. I really am thankful for this site and for all of you who participate here.

i always react to stress. stress makes me evil

I experience something like this every now and then, sans tears however.

I very much do things against my will. I usually lash out at the person for any criticism they may give (whether good or bad) but then I calm down and say to myself "It was your decision. You could have said no." and just let it go. I am usually a very calm guy but I have my moments. I can be very difficult to deal with.

Yeah, I do that sort of thing sometimes. I'm not sure it's that uncommon, although I think autistic people are more subject to stress (from overload) than most people in similar situations.

I get that delayed reaction to stress from time to time.
Sometimes it seems so delayed and disconnected from the event that started it that I have a hard time figuring out what got me all worked up. I usually go into a meltdown from some other minor stressful thing (like the story about the straw that broke the camel's back.)

I have volunteered for things without really understanding what it would take to get it done. Then unwilling to fail to do it I usually can muster what I need to get it done, but then I pay for it afterwards. Very much like you described.