First of all, unlike most of you, I wasn't even diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome 'til after I'd graduated high school- & then only because my career counselor spoke about me with my psychiatrist.....who otherwise admitted to me that he didn't see any reason to bring it to my attention(???).
Even then, I only had a very limited understanding of it. I never truly grasped the scope of AS until my very close friend explained to me- at the very beginning of this year, might I add( which was, btw, 7-8 years after I was initially diagnosed with it)- why I was having so much difficulty in social & intimate relationships. And then finally I truly got it only about a week or two ago, after my girlfriend and I kissed for the first time- & I didn't feel that intensity that you see couples have on TV.
Now, that said, I did in fact explain to my girlfriend about my AS, & one very cool thing about the situation is that we already- as it is- want to take it slow. Now, we really have no choice, as we have to work around the obstacle that is AS. But coping with it in our relationship will only make us stronger, & will keep us lasting.
And another thing to consider- if anyone here watches Doctor Who, the previous season of the show featured a two-parter, called "Human Nature/ Family of Blood". For those who don't watch it, The Doctor was hiding out from some predators, for a while, & decided to assume the DNA of a human as a disguise- the plan was flawless....until he fell in love with a human woman- & was afraid to turn back to finally deal with the worsening threat. A young boy in the town had seen The Doctor's "true colors, & the exchange went like this:
Tim Latimer: He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun.
The Doctor: [quickly and almost whispering] Stop it.
Tim Latimer: He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe.
The Doctor: Stop it, I said stop it.
Tim Latimer: and... he's wonderful.
The Doctor did indeed turn back into himself, & later on, the woman he fell in love with asked him if he'd turn back- & he said "no". The point was, The Doctor could never be, what societally, is considered "normal"- but it's what so different about him that makes him so special.
If I was offered a cure for my AS, I wouldn't take it- AS definitely helps shape one's personality, & I'd likely be a very different, far less motivated person without it. Having AS has also helped me cope much easier with being different, & accepting( and approving) myself for who I am- & learning not to care what "everyone else thinks".
Sure, I only feel a twinge of sweet, sweet emotion when I kiss my girlfriend- & for the most part, I have as much feeling & emotion for other people as the freakin' Terminator. Granted, I can't ride a bike to save my life, I don't socialize well, I don't believe a soul who tells me I'm a good driver. Popping balloons, gun shots, & fireworks drive my eardrums crazy- BUT...
...You're reading my writing, & most people have told me that it's amazingly eloquent. Most people have also told me that they see me becoming a huge success in the world of business- even though I dropped out of college after merely a semester.
I'm currently working my final regular job before I push my career full-time, & I almost instantly got two raises at work.
I've learned to take nothing in life for granted, & appreciate it even more because of my AS.
While naturally I never had much success in the world of dating, do remember that because of how little of it we wind up doing, we manage to "weed out" all the wrong ones quite easily; and I assure you, it saves us a LOT of money on dates. Most normal people have to spend hundreds of thousands on dates to find the right ones. We get off much luckier, because of AS- most "normal" folks won't put up with AS.
Also, in part due to my AS, several years ago- because of my extremely narrow focus when it comes to the world of action figure collecting- I became somewhat of a "godfather" in the toy community, & it appears as though I may soon not only be regaining my status, but surpassing it- this time for the long haul.
One thing people always wind up saying about me is that I'm "an intellect, and a scholar"- and I don't think they're saying it just to be nice.
An' may I also remind you of two great men who are also believed to have had AS: Einstein and Thomas Jefferson.
So guys, understand the negatives, but don't obsess over them- I almost consider Asperger's Syndrome to be a "blessing in disguise".
In fact, to quote one of my heroes, Ronald Reagan "yeah, you get setbacks along the way- monumentous ones even- but everything happens for a reason, and works out for the best". Think about that.
In closing, I thought I'd share with you all some stuff that does make me cry( as naturally cheezy romantic movies don't, since we Aspies don't feel emotion like most "normal" folk do):
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Doctor Who
The Real Ghostbusters
footage of the fall of the Berlin Wall
Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme
Rocky II-IV, & Rocky Balboa
Shrek II
04 Mar 2008, 12:55 am
really if i could be normal i wouldnt, then who would fire agates and trading cards have to love them? i also fancy a good thundertorm every now and then and they would be increadibly lonely without me
