True Friends?

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is there any point in having friends? It seems like I will never have real friends. I always get reallly let down. Such a terrible thing..........I dont have any friends then i have friends and they turn out to be poophead fools who forget about me and leave me stranded completely on accident.

is it possible to have real friends?

Yes, light, it is possible. Don't lose all hope. You will eventually meet someone who can relate on your level. Be yourself and enjoy your hobbies in the meantime; that is the best advice I have.

I may have had one at one point but now I'm not so sure if he was. It is reasonable to assume that he tried to make the friendship work as it appears that way, but sometimes he was also a bully, and we shared nearly nothing in common(other than a liking for drugs). Being around him(or other people for that matter) too long drives me crazy, as I want to get back to my interests. It is quite clear that we didn't understand each other very well; he was always accusing me of thinking I'm better than everyone else or tying to be disagreeable just to promote conflict, when that wasn't at all the case, while I had absolutely no concept of how his feelings would be impacted by the things I'd do or say. I may re-cultivate this friendship some random day a few years from now if I feel I can make it work again, but I need a break from him. The fact that he hits his girlfriend is also scary and what made me decide to walk out of his apartment and not want to see him anymore.

That being said, I desire someone I can relate to and who shares my interests and derives entertainment from pursuing these interests relentlessly. I can find that online often enough, but rarely in real life.

I supposed I may be doomed to a life of having no one to relate to but friendly acquaintences, but I don't want things to be that way. So, how to make a friendship work without seeming too 'pushy', how not to get bored without constantly being preoccupied with my subjects of interest, and how to understand what to say or do so as not to offend or hurt someone? Hmm... don't know. People are weird.



The point to having friends is? I don't know the answer to that either... So far I've never figured that out, although I have my guesses. For my case, I suppose it would be to share ideas and concepts in an area of interest and put them to practice. I've been starving for that my whole life. 'Hanging out' just doesn't do much for me, although it did end any feelings of isolation provided I got face-to-face contact once or twice every month or so... Anything too frequent got very tiring. This also drives people away when they want to 'hang out' much more often than that and don't seem to understand the need for solitude...

Introversion: blessing or curse?

I dont have any real friends.
I've never met anyone that I liked and that could stand my behaviour.

I have some acquaintances I have known for years....(just got almost instant headache/nausea from glancing at trembling banner ad )

Um.....eegads....totally lost train of thought....

while it would be nice to have someone to share interests with, they would also have to be aware and accepting of the difficulties I have with being around and involved with other people.
Even the people I have known for years...I am not very close to...maybe there is some bond of mutual understanding...but no heavy involvement in each-other's lives....

Since I help run a venue, we are inundated with acquaintances at times.....Eight of them came over last night...to help with with our pre-inspection cleanup...I was in a bad mood and kept my distance....occasionally one of them would ask me a question and i would direct them to Flakey when I couldn't get the words out.

With friends, quality wins over quantity. I have a couple of people in my life I would consider good friends. Most others are just there, at arms length or further, and I don't much trust them.

Socialization and understanding relationships is the basis of AS. Don't be discouraged by their negative behaviors. The fact is that most people will not accept you for being yourself. I'm older and I can say just follow your own road and be kind to others when possible. "Friends" doesn't get any easier but you learn to accommodate yourself to situations over time.

Yes it is possible. And yes there is a point. A true friend is a one in a million, but once you find them... it is indescribable!

"We live, as we dream — alone. . . ."
Joseph Conrad

I have 2 true friends, that have been friends since childhood. Neither are diagnosed, but I suspect they are both on the spectrum. We think alike and share the same hobbies. Aside from my mother and 'real' father, they are the only people that I can really talk to.

I consider myself lucky, to have found these 2 friends. Until recently, I didn't realize how rare these 'types' of people were. I believe there are friends out there, for everyone. It's just a matter of time and, perhaps, a little luck.

Also, you have to be willing to befriend someone else. Don't expect someone to just, fall all over you. You have to be willing to return friendship, in order for it to work.