I want to die

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This is why: I can't stop ruminating about events that happened years ago. I endlessly replay the memories in my head and feel the emotional pain; it's like having a psychoemotional cancer. The thought that people can readily perceive my neuroticism, unsettles me, because they will undoubtedly be liable to incorrectly interpreting that neuroticism as a token of psychosis, pathological lying, hypochondria or histrionics, and will be reluctant to believe anything I tell them or feel compassion. Look-at-my-grin-I-know-you-are-a-loony-I-don't-respect-your-emotions-and-don't-you-forget-that-don't-have-the-power-to-affect-my-mine facial expressions from secretaries and receptionists is what I've invariantly gotten before I make it to the smirks, sneers and sarcasm from those who profess to have the power to cure me. And I can't complain to them about the disrespectful behavior from their assistants because, as the assistants know well, the mental health professionals will undoubtedly believe them more than they'll believe random patients with random mental health issues. So I am in the stupid situation where I have problems, but can't ask anyone for help because doing so will only exacerbate said problems. Lately, I've had some thoughts which I prefer not to discuss through this medium; all I can say is that I never thought of myself as the type of person who'd entertain such ideas. As a final reflection, I'd like to add that I could have offed myself 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,etc years ago and I wouldn't have missed on anything; I would only have spared myself lots of suffering.

Who identifies?

I really don't think you're a very polite person, and playing off stereotypical deficiencies in ability to detect degrading insinuations is why. Like I said before though, it's clever. I guess.

sim, it's not nice to insult people who say they want to die. I don't understand the insult, but I'm pretty sure it is one and that you know that.

If you two are having some other fight that I don't know about, this isn't the place to have it.

I wasn't insulting anyone - apologies if my subtle actions came off as such. Mw99 and I were just having a friendly competition; based on his tendency to mock those with AS. His post history should be reviewed for an idea of how malicious he can be.

I have often thought about dying and I have always come to the conclusion that it's not that I wanted to die but that I didn't want to go on living the way I had been living. So I changed it. It is not easy and it is very frightening but it worked. It's worth trying. No doubt the change must be different for each person so you have to solve it for yourself.

Don't kill yourself. There is a future worth living for. I've been a patient in psychiatric wards and in community mental health teams in the past. I made a suicide attempt once. I saw psychologists, psychiatrists and nurses. A counseller once too I think. Eventually by a stroke of luck I watched Super Size Me with my sister. It's a film about a guy who eats McDonald's for a month to prove a point - eating junk food makes you fat, low on energy, depressed and like a drug addict.

That was how I ate and so I figured out that before I gave up on life and killed myself (which I often wanted to) I'd make an effort for the first time in my life to think carefully about everything I did. I knew it wasn't my fault I'd never done that - I was never taught to. Think about it this way, most people's mental health problems are a result of bad parenting or a bad education. But although the past can really scar you, as long as you know there's a way to make things better you can redeem your life.

Over a period of year I changed my diet a lot for the better and gradually increased a regular routine of exercise. I no longer ever have to be detained in psychiatric wards. I don't even see anyone about mental health problems in the community. I've learned to handle most things myself. I won't eat or drink anything with cow's milk in it because there's evidence that proves most negative symptoms of autism and attention deficit disorder as well as the medical conditions of common colds, asthma, depression and many other health problems are linked to the protein in milk called casein.

Cow's milk isn't really intended for human consumption, it's supposed to be for cows and in the 20th Century consumption of cow's milk reached ridiculous levels. With the popularity of cheese burgers, milk shakes, milk chocolate and the widespread propaganda that cow's milk every day is necessary for calcium (it isn't, there are other sources) to grow good bones and teeth that's what some progressive investigators blame on a recent increase in obesity, cancer, diabetes, Autism and mental health problems.

For some evidence have a look at this webpage:

http://www.notmilk.com/aa.html

A reasonably healthy diet along with regular exercise can keep almost anyone in good mental health. Having friends helps. Feeling loved is important. Having something to do with your time that is meaningful is good too. But I've found that getting the basics right helps prepare you for all those good things. I hope you find this post helpful. I'd also advise you don't take medication for any mental health problems, Autism, Asperger's or Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder because until you get your diet right, you can't say you definitely need medication and lots of that medication has side effects of increasing your weight which makes exercise, maintaining a healthy diet and being happy a bit more challenging.

It's also worth mentioning that soy milk should be avoided. It causes thyroid problems, fatigue, reduces testosterone which hampers building muscle and often has far too many ingredients added to it and is far from organic. The best replacement for cow's milk is almond milk or quinoa milk. Don't worry, they don't taste disgusting. Both of them are good sources of protein and good kinds of fat that reduce cholesterol and bad fats.

Very large portions of the human race outside Europe and the USA cannot tolerate milk or milk products. An article at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance indicates that about 70% of the human race cannot use milk.