THE WORLD STOPS FOR MY HORRIFIC AVATAR! GASP!! !

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And it was written, as prophesied in the Holy Book of Sock Trinity:

As I posted elswhere: 'TIS THE DAWN OF THE SECOND POSTING!! !

Thine is the false god! Don't trust him everybody! He just wants to steal all that fluffeh stuff you find in washing machines from socks and stuff. The hoover was the worst machine of the lot. Somehow it could create more fluffeh fabric balls than any other machine. IN FACT, the weight of the fluffy balls was proven to be greater than the amount of washing (in terms of weight) initially put into the machine. Only the evil socks knew this, since they had the darning power of eternal and everlasting life. Many a sock has been darned because of lost fluffyness.

The socks have found a way to reconstitute the fluffeh balls into new, more powerful socks in a reverse washing process using that very same hoover model. Because of its amazing fluff creation, sock scientists have estimated that we be overun with evil socks by year 2007. Yes... THAT FAST! If we don't stop him we will be wading through sock mountains, and the reverse process also brings with it horific smells. Smells that were once defeated. Imagine a sock mountain, with the cheesiest smell ever known to exist. Imagine that smell multiplied....

It is estimated that the last breathable air will disapear by 2010. The socks destroy the air, but we destroy the atmosphere with perfume and deoderants. The sky will be dark...

Whoa in the valley of deep shadow evil socks come and then go back where their from. For I have seen their demise, for their demise is so great that it reaches up to even Me. (Book of Living and the Dead 69:96)

I am Who I am Grand God Almighty of the Internet.

Here is a transcript from a world famous game show that will answer all your questions humans

Narrator:

And welcome everybody, live across the Planet Earth, to "Question The Facts", the game show where our contestant plays for crappy prizes! And now here's your host with that droopy moustaches, Carlos Quebec.

Carlos Quebec enters the studio smelling of gin and misery. He wipes his mouth as the audience applauds.

Carlos:

Good evening. It looks like we've got a great bunch of contestants for tonight's show so let's meet'em.

Narrator:

From Upstate Wyoming, put your hands together for data analyst Norwood Spuffling...

Applause

Her favourite book is The Evil Red Sock Puppet of Doom: The Untold Story, please welcome receptionist from Smutville, Beryl Bobbington.

Applause

He's an unemployed father of nine on welfare from Frudtown, please welcome Carl Wayne Drood.

Applause


Carlos:

Now we all know how the game plays. I ask you a question about sock puppets and you buzz in if you think you know the answer.

Okay?

Let's play

Applause

Carlos:

Okay... first question...
Name the washing machine that will save the human race from the Naked World War in the 21st Century...

Norwood:

What is the 1978 Hoover model washing machine.

Carlos:

Correct... but remember Norwood, this isn't Jeopardy so forget about the What is crap.
Next question...
Name the reason why the 1978 Hoover washing machine will save the world?

Carl-Wayne:

Matt Damon?

Carlos:

Ooh... I'm sorry, that was incorrect. We would have except though "The 1978 Hoover Washing Machine model was the first to have a fully integrated microprocessor unit to control dynamic loads. This microprocessor is the only one not susceptible to a computer virus unleashed the evil hedgehog assassins of the future war." So close, but still incorrect.

Recapping the scores, Norwood is on $1.4 Billion, Beryl is on 34 cents and Carl-Wayne will be seeing our mafia debt collectors after the show. So it's still anybody's game.


Klaxon alarm goes off


Carlos:

A ring-a-ding-a-doo! That means it's time for the Final Question. Now we all know how this works. Each contestant can answer the question by betting any amount they so choose. However, all deficits will be collected and legs broken after the show.

So here's the FINAL QUESTION. Envelope please.

Runner runs up with sealed envelope. Carlos opens it.

Okay, the final question is...

Name the famous hedgehog assassin who ate their own foot... now here's a hint, he doesn't wear socks because he is a sockaphobic.

Here's some really loud heavy metal thinking music.

I WANNA CUT YOU UP AND EAT YOUR LIVER, MEOWMIX MEOWMIX PLEASE DELIVER ME!! !


Carlos:

Okay let's check our contestant's answers. Let's start with the money leader, Norwood.

Norwood:

Who is Sonic the Hedgehog???

Carlos:

Oohhh... I'm sorry, that is incorrect. Any you bet... $1.4 billion. You IDIOT! Giving you a total of bugger all.

Let's see how Beryl answered...

Who is Mahatma Gandhi

Carlos:

Also incorrect. You bet 32 cents giving you a total of 2 cents, rounded down to zero. You leave with nothing. Fool. Let's see how Carl-Wayne did.

Carl-Wayne:

Who is Hi Mum!

Carlos:

Also wrong! Well, all our contestants are stupid. We have no winner, so that means the show is going to get axed next week, thanks alot! Let's see the answer to the FINAL QUESTION.

The question was: Name the famous hedgehog assassin who ate their own foot.

The answer... What is a Wooyayhooplah...

Audience groans

Carlos:

Oh well, like a terrible musician we're out of time again, so in the meanwhile, I've been Carlos Quebec! And remember, if the truth is fuzzy...

Audience all together:

QUESTION THE FACTS!! !

Don't trust his lies. All of those contestants were fake (and stoopid).


The microprocessor in the 1978 hoover was not mentioned at all in the detailed installation and hardware repair manual. In fact, although thousands of these units were sold worldwide, no plumber/repairman knew of the microprocessors existence. That processor puts the most hi-tech 2005 nanochips to shame. The chip only activated itself on the highest temp spin cycle (used for socks). We believe that a sock robot android type thingy came back from the future and secretly got a job in the factory making these machines. However, their plan failed when the stoopid sock robot thingy forgot to earth the chips, blowing them on the first wash over 60 degrees. Hence only one machine is thought left to exist, that machine is owned by a SARA Conn-her. She had a severe OCD that mean't she wouldn't wash anything above the temperature of 59 degrees. The machine still exists, its beacon although faulty (location device malfunctioned) is still sending out messages. We have tapped into these messages. The machine has collected enough fluff for 450,000 sock robots. That Sara Conn-her was a real one for washing up. She almost became a nudist because she was always washing her clothes all of the time. She is currently locked up in a high secure unit because her brain somehow picked up on the radio transmissions in her machine, and an evil sock puppet sneaked into her last wash, almost destroying her entire clothes collection with its colour fastness. Luckily she managed to snag a loose fray in the lid from the evil sock and it was pulled into a long thread. HOWEVER, its super hi-tech fluffehness is now mixed in with the rest of the fluff making it super super powered fluff. No One believes Sara Conn-her, not even her son who spends most of his time stealing washing powder from supermarkets and dealing it to the unclean children in the penny arcades.


Sara Conn-her hid the washing machine (for it was her most prized possession and would help her destroy the onslaught of hi-tech android socks in the future). We believe it is buried in the desert below some trailer trash family who have lots of guns. Recently, Sara Conn-her has broken free from the high security jail by hiding 20 (yes, TWENTY) washing up tablets in her dirty linen. Amid the soapy chaos she slipped out unnoticed.

We all survived the Evil Sock Wars
We all survived the Battle of the Cybersocks & The Search For Sacred Washing Machine

But now we face our greatest challenge yet



The Sock Boredom Wars

You are bored when did this happened.

My cool Sock Friend.

This happened at 1 am last night when I realised I had more things to do than time itself and that instead I chose to post away here.

Time is ticking away...