It's almost official: I don't have Asperger's Syndrome

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Nope, it's all one way to be an "aspie"; if it's not one way, it's no way. Lorna Wing wrote that above, and she's the one who brought Asperger's to light.

I agree with a lot of what LabPet says.

As far as I understand AS, its not so much what shows on the outside in traits but what is happening in the brain and it is probably quite hard to diagnose AS if you haven't specialized in ASDs so the person that hasn't recognized a possible ASD could be mistaken, however there are other things that present like Aspergers from what I have read so on that basis, I might be inclined to find someone you believe to be more knowledgeable about it.

I also think you should not try to want to be either an aspie or not an aspie - I don't think you are doing either of those btw, but just to remain open to either possibility because I believe the truth, if we seek it, eventually comes and truth is something worth waiting for. Truth ultimately brings peace

ive seen alex interact socially... ?

I think an aspie can interact socially in a two-wayed manner to varying degrees, depending on the aspie.

I find I can interact socially two-wayed, but I respond differently to an NT, and sometimes they dont like it.

i do too... although i acknowledge a sort of need to "hold the reigns" while doing so.

i must say, after meeting alex, his gf and jerryh here...... it's kinda nice to sit and chat with people who have similar conversational flows.

ive definitely noticed (sometimes) when i've forgotten to do something and people kinda look at me, but i've definitely learned to either A) just shut up and listen to people or B) try really hard not to interrupt and watch for when people want to say something. i also try to put a filter on my irrelevance meter.

Yes. I think that aspies can do some different types of communication, but much of it tends to be mentioning things from their own mind/memory, or responding in a unique, independent way.

And for the OP, it sounds like you have a PDD-NOS diagnosis from what you have said? Basically that means you have a watered-down version of AS, or another Pervasive Development Disorder such as Atypical Autism, Atypical Aspergers, or sometimes ADHD.

If you are not happy with the diagnosis you can perhaps go seek a second opinion from an ASD specialist?

I think it be a (simplified) two way exchange, that is however always impaired.

This may be true for an individual that has the capability and is in the correct circumstances to understand and manipulate their way of communication. Means, a child with diagnosable does not understand the implications of a two sided interaction. It most likely will understand at an older age that communication is not script or a routine, but is orientated at the intentions of the persons involved. That there is a constant flow, that social 'rules' are ever changing, that there must be a common basis, a want and need and receiving...

Which means that... if you say hi every time someone comes: That can be understood like a routine, a systematic use of language without meaning. HI is given a meaning on its own. (So maybe an autistic child will say hi... when nobody comes or to inanimate objects and places etc.) Although there seems to be interpersonal interaction - there is none.

But when you understand the purpose of hi and that this 'hi' is connected to an inclusively personal and communicative relationship. That the other wants you to say, that he feels about it, that he expects it - when you understand this connection and use the 'hi' appropriately, then it's two sided.

I think.

Being AS, this impairment will never go away though. Standard will be one sided interaction. Script. Routine. That kind of thing. Researching models and theories of interaction and communication can help, but it's all intellectual. And not everything social can be done with intellectually. (That's mean.)

That's the difference between talking AT people and talking with/to people I think.

Oh well.

Just my two cents.


Edit: edited for spelling.

I'm just going by what I've read (Wing, Asperger, etcetera), and what I've been told. One-sided conversations are all that's listed in the DSM-IV-TR for those with AS compared to the social aloofness of AD. I cannot socialize at all, and I'm your typical "aspie" if I'm to believe my psycho. Of note, socialization needs to be seen in its context; there's a difference between answering questions that people pose, mechanically, and the spontaneity of social reciprocity.

I'm sure someone with AS could look like they're socializing, but I'm also sure that they're answering in a mechanical way (and they'll always answer like this).





Sora, yes, that can be learned, but throw in the fluid dynamics of socialization and the person with AS will falter soon enough the longer it drags on. It'll always be mechanical rather than natural.

Last edited by Danielismyname on 04 Apr 2008, 8:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

And about the diagnosis...

Are you suspected to have a personality disorder based on a questionary? If so, that's not right.

In an amnesic conversation, were you checked for each of the symptoms of Asperger's? That is necessary too, the simple 'I don't think so' of a professional doesn't do.

Regardless of whether you have AS or a another disorder, if the current is based on only the two above this suspected diagnosis is dodgy.

However. If the diagnosis is based upon further questioning too, it very likely holds some truth.

because of this post by the OP I suspect that he has received a PDD-NOS diagnosis. PDD-NOS is not a personality disorder though. It is a Pervasive Developmental Disorder.

i understand what you're saying... but i do think that aspies can have the potential to understand that something is expected from you in social interactions and to be able to try at least.

i have always almost resented the fact that i have to try so hard to find something, anything to say to people and that i always felt disheartened cause no one ever seemed to try so hard to socialize with me. i don't always know what to say or when to say it... but after years of people telling me to quiet down or quit interrupting or just flat out asking me where the heck i'm coming from... i conclude that i have to do something else at least.

and it was always hard cause i never knew what i was doing wrong.. i think teaching people taught me how to better elicit answers from people, so that helped somewhat in figuring out where people are coming from... and now i know about AS, i finally have a basis to apply context to things and at least attempt to direct things .

all this doesnt mean i dont find it easy to interact... i still have many uncomfortable silences when i (think) i know people expect me to say something but i either dont care or just dont know... or maybe im biting my tongue not to say all the random things brimming under the surface. there are only a few people i feel comfortable enough to just say things around

and even if i find it tedious... i know i can sit there and listen to people... i've found that goes a long way. i chalk that up to teaching as well.

I was about to reply that aspies can interact socially and all, as I do for years, but when I read what Daniel wrote, I must say that he (Daniel) is right.

Daniel, you may have AS but I saw a lot of your replies in various thread and you really seems a good guy and a bright one. Your answers are always interesting.

When I was in my good [adult] years I could sit down next to people (teenager), and listen to them talk, I could also answer questions if I knew the answer. The conversation would end after I gave my answer as I never had anything to say for I don't speak of my interests, until someone asked me another question that is. If I didn't know the person who asked a question of me, I'd just ignore them (in retrospect, I knew I was ignoring them, but I just couldn't answer; there was a wall).

Now, I'm totally hopeless, and I don't know when I'll be able to go back to my "one-sided" ways.

"One-sided" is the norm for Asperger's; whether you only answer questions, or you talk someone's ears off.

The social deficits are the most pronounced in Asperger's as it's lacking in the verbal and cognitive difficulties of autism.

and i agree... but you don't have to like your vegetables to eat them and be healthy. just like you can interact with people, even if it takes a little work.

i think what has helped me interact is not to give a flying flip about what people think about me. doesn't help in professional situations necessarily... but even when i'm not around people i feel comfortable with... i still am better than i used to be about rolling with whatever faux pas i do/ say....... yet another thing teaching has taught me... being put on the spot when you do something wrong lol.

Lorna Wing has also described the "passive" autistic who may engage (in a passive manner) with others who initiate contact. I've found that to be true of myself. I have also found that socialization structured around a defined activity can work for me, especially if they're people I've known for a long time. Unstructured socialization is much harder. I was once fortunate enough to meet someone on my first day of college who was interested in getting to know me. Best yet, she talks a mile a minute so I didn't have to say much when I was with her. (She's a very socially competent NT who nevertheless likes monologues.) I sometimes went to meals and other things with her and a few other people. At first I hardly said anything at all during that time, but I was eventually able to participate, albeit in a different and less natural manner than my peers.

I did not

Last edited by Mw99 on 07 Apr 2008, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.