Does it bother you that you don't have love in your life?

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Does it bother you that you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband in your life?
Yes, it depresses me. 64%  64%  [ 54 ]
I wish I had one, but it doesn't bother me. 27%  27%  [ 23 ]
I don't care about having a girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband in my life. 9%  9%  [ 8 ]
Total votes : 85

asplanet
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07 Apr 2008, 4:58 pm

Seth36 wrote:
Yeah it does, I'm not certain as to whether I have aspergers or not, seems pretty likely I meet all the criteria and got scored high on the test for it but I've also had somewhat of a traumatic past that has probably contributed as well, if nothing else though I know from previous experience that even in the rare occasions where i do meet someone it gets rapidly destroyed by another problem i have which the only way i can describe is a complete inability to feel positive emotion, i've never had a single feeling of happiness in my entire life, and any kind of closeness freaks me out, partly probably as i may have aspergers but also because i'm not used to signs of affection, my childhood experience was like a scene from Hostel crossed with an NSPCC advert so i'm only used to feeling pain and depression and that pushes people away.


Like you I had a traumatic past and use to always think this was the reason I was different, could never keep relationships or feel content. But please there is hope as even thought it took me far to long I have changed my life around, part of that was being diagnosed and truly understanding who I am.

One of the biggest problems I feel in life is trying to live up to other peoples expectations, the stereo typical of "normality" we feel we can not be happy unless we are like what we grow up around perceiving to make us happy.

But sadly its all true first we need to look at ourselves, and then decide what we want from life, not what we feel we should be like, or want.

First we need to find ourselves, no one else can bring you happiness and then decide what it is we truly want from life and bit, by bit work towards that happening, I did which included lots of things even immigrating to another country and leaving behind my crazy hectic stressful London life, were I was for the most part sad.

I am now a mother, wife and living a place I only dreamed of years ago. But it took time to get to this point, so set your goals and start working towards your dreams they can happen.

Life will always have its ups and downs, but what has always keep me strong is having some think to work towards and quite often once we do this, other things follow....


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Naboo
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07 Apr 2008, 5:38 pm

I'm quite happy with having my close friends, but I guess I feel a bit lonely sometimes. I've never been in a relationship, but I've had my chances, I've just never known how to act to make anything happen. It can be very frustrating.



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07 Apr 2008, 5:52 pm

In short: yes, it does bother me.

But I'm prepared to wait for the right girl to come along. Maybe one day.


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DeaconBlues
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07 Apr 2008, 7:50 pm

Your poll questions are based on a false assumption - that since you haven't found anyone yet, therefore we're all alone. I'm married, with a cohusband and two children as well, and perfectly happy that way.

Now, if you intended this to be answered only by those who are alone, it might have behooved you to have indicated this in eitherthe title or the initial post...


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07 Apr 2008, 7:54 pm

I'm mostly annoyed that I have the opportunity to meet someone, but I can never take a chance. :?



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07 Apr 2008, 11:59 pm

Loneliness and unending boredom are both cured by the same thing, companionship. A relationship would make me feel whole.


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08 Apr 2008, 12:02 am

I clench my teeth and fists as I walk down a road where I live that lovers come to share their feelings. One part jealousy, one part remembering what used to be...better times.


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Seth36
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08 Apr 2008, 2:55 am

asplanet wrote:
Like you I had a traumatic past and use to always think this was the reason I was different, could never keep relationships or feel content. But please there is hope as even thought it took me far to long I have changed my life around, part of that was being diagnosed and truly understanding who I am.

One of the biggest problems I feel in life is trying to live up to other peoples expectations, the stereo typical of "normality" we feel we can not be happy unless we are like what we grow up around perceiving to make us happy.

But sadly its all true first we need to look at ourselves, and then decide what we want from life, not what we feel we should be like, or want.

First we need to find ourselves, no one else can bring you happiness and then decide what it is we truly want from life and bit, by bit work towards that happening, I did which included lots of things even immigrating to another country and leaving behind my crazy hectic stressful London life, were I was for the most part sad.

I am now a mother, wife and living a place I only dreamed of years ago. But it took time to get to this point, so set your goals and start working towards your dreams they can happen.

Life will always have its ups and downs, but what has always keep me strong is having some think to work towards and quite often once we do this, other things follow....

I can relate to alot of thagt, however i'm kind of well beyond the point of still having hope left, theres a bit more to the story but thanks to my childhood ive never been afraid to die and if im being honest about it i actually look forward to the day i do die as essentially my suffering finally ends, putting up with obsessions and compulsions etc drives me round the wall sure but the hardest part for me is that i couldnt ever deal with my past, i just buried it for the last 21 years and never spoke of it, lately its been forcing its way back into my mind and ive broke down a few times, had another suicide attempt 2 weeks ago (makes 8 in all now).

Although i still have some kind of dreams left over, i.e. i always wanted to join the army, every single one of the dreams ive ever held onto has been systematically destroyed by something happening in my life that means it cant happen, for instance i may have a problem with OCD and the army cant take people with that condition, if i get diagnosed i can wave goodbye to another one of my dreams, theres very few dreams i have left but none of them drive me anymore, i dont have anything that gives me motivation to go on, i have kind of slipped back to being suicidal the only reason im trying to avoid it at the moment is because one of these obessions i have is that i cant let people down and i have alot of work i still need to do for the one or two friends i do have (developing their websites for the businesses)



MaterialDefender
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08 Apr 2008, 4:01 am

The fact that I don't have a girlfriend now, and have never been close to having one bothers me, a lot. When I look and see how socially ret*d I am, I feel like I am going to remain alone for the rest of my life and that scares me.



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08 Apr 2008, 11:45 am

Bluesummers wrote:
I clench my teeth and fists as I walk down a road where I live that lovers come to share their feelings. One part jealousy, one part remembering what used to be...better times.


I feel the same way, only I have never experienced it. I hate them because they have it and I don't. :evil:

I don't know how much longer I can handle this pain.


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Brandon-J
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08 Apr 2008, 12:03 pm

Yea I wish that I had one but i'm starting not to really care and just accepted that I prolly wont find anybody in my life.



Zatoichi
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08 Apr 2008, 12:09 pm

Undiagnosed.

Yes, I'm very lonely.

This is quite a bit of a misguiding poll. I am depressed, i am lonely, but these are mere biological reasons. I'd prefer not to have to be lonely, and just go through life alone.. But I don't think that's an option. I don't like most people out there, but I do have an image of the perfect girl/woman. Untill then, I'll just wait till I find her, because my perfect girl won't be at a place where NT's go looking.



jaydog
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08 Apr 2008, 2:41 pm

Well i am mostly like what the rest of already said, I'm so angry related to this topic,
due to the fact that in school, there was much hugging, kissing and it seems like most of the women and men in school were always going after the most popular students, when it comes to love or romance or sex.

I'm out of school, 28 yrs old, iv had a crush on several women in the past growing up and while working a job,, and couple times which i thought a relationship was gonna come together, it either fell apart due to the issue that they were to busy with school or work or long distance, to really be able to make it work. Iv had so many traumatic events in my life, so frieking tired, no energy to really care, that my heart is cracked to the point where even falling in love or a girl friend is not even on my mind. Even with my conditions such as sleep disorder (sleep 16-20 hours a day, sometimes, 3 times a week) will pretty much effect me to where love is nearly impossible.

Unless I find someone perhaps an aspie who has same conditions as me, anxiety disorders, ptsd, personality disorder then perhaps i would have a chance, but I don't see it happening anytime soon, my emotions are just out of control, and due to the fact that many people who are going though life and hell, and the same as most of us are dealing with, usually stay inside or stay independent. Sure I would like a girl friend, when im stuck with severe anxiety and mood swings inside my apartment, i know the chances of that happening is very slim.



HereComeTheLizards
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08 Apr 2008, 2:44 pm

I'd like love in my life the same way I'd like to have £10 million. I'd like to have it, yes, but not having it doesn't ruin my life.


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angelgirl1224
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08 Apr 2008, 4:03 pm

well although im happy without a man in my life i wouldnt mind one.
And, i do get jealous when i see couples kissing and stuff in public. It feels they are throwig it in my face i am single. I feel like slapping them, Lol.
xx


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JasonWilkes
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08 Apr 2008, 4:35 pm

In general I'm a very happy person....
but sometimes I feel like I care more about random people who I meet once and hope to become friends with, than my closest friends care about me.

It's so hard to meet people, especially when you have very few friends, and thus very few channels through which to meet others, and all the while, the apathetic, tradition-bound masses are ever so reluctant to talk to strangers, or to meet people by any means other than the usual
1) know you through a friend, or
2) met you at a party (hah!).
channels.

::sigh:: Where do they keep all the good people?