Eye contact

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do you have troubles making eye contact with people, even when you're in a conversation? It just makes me uncomfortable to do so :S and I'm not really sure why. I can force myself to, but then it comes across as forced, or rude, or like I'm making fun of someone. I had an elementary school teacher who insisted on eye contact from her students when they spoke. as a result, I never spoke in her class :S

It's hard for me to make eye contact with someone. I do try sometimes but I don't know how many seconds equal innapropriate eye contact. If you do it for too long it may come across as staring and strange. I've basically given up on eye contact. It's useless to me right now but I've heard it's important for job interviews.

I got lucky in this regard, because I usually look at people's mouths or noses so no one has gotten on to me for not having good eye contact. I didn't even know that you were supposed to use eye contact in non-threatning situations until this summer! It was one of the first things that made my Aspie friend wonder if I had AS as well. Before then the only time I looked at people directly in the eye was when I was angry and telling them to get lost.

Looking back, I realize that I never noticed my parent's eye colors until recently. With people I know I remember them very well except for the eye area, which is fuzzy.

I can glance at their eyes, but it's a more unfocused rather than a pinpointed glance. If I'm very upset or just meeting someone I don't look at them much at all, just play with whatever is in my hand and stare at my feet or the wall. With my friends and family, I'll look somewhere between their mouth and their collarbone.

Eye contact was something I was never good at. I either stare at people or don't look enough.

I have a very hard time looking people in the eye. Until I was about ten or eleven and my parents insisted, I never looked anyone in the eyes at all. Now I can hold eye contact for up to three seconds if I am listening to someone talk. One thing that you can try is briefly looking at a person’s face and then looking away every few seconds, although this is tiring and people sometimes consider it a bit odd. Or you can look at an area slightly above or to the left or right of someone’s face (but looking just below a female’s face is generally not advised).

I still cannot make eye contact when I am talking and I will instinctively look away if someone tries to make eye contact without warning. Unless I focus, I tend to talk to walls more than people.

Eye contact is something most people have no difficulty with. Thus they cannot conceive of anyone ever having problems with it. If, like me, you find it extremely difficult people assume (consciously or subconsciously) you're a complete idiot. And because they're in the majority, they are allowed to. Yes, I am angry about this. I have been for years.

I have an interesting question: would you be able to make "eye contact" if you were wearing black sunglasses, and they couldn't see your eyes? I must remember to try this, and see how I feel about it.

Actually, I am working on the sunglasses thing right now. I recently bought a pair and found that whilst wearing them, I was perfectly capable of making eye contact. I still feel the overwhelming anxiety when they look into my eyes, but my brain doesn't force me to look away when I have dark glasses on. So I started training myself. Making eye contact with everyone who walked past me on the street whilst wearing glasses, and then one day, I did it without the glasses on because I forgot I wasn't wearing them. It felt really good!

Last edited by Daewoodrow on 22 Apr 2008, 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I did it and felt like a voyeur.

interesting :D thanks for the input!!

I have read an article recently that described a different pattern of brain activation between Nt's and AS people when looking at human faces. They use a specific area connected with crucial emotional areas, we use the same area of the brain dedicated to the recognition of objects. No wonder it feels weird...There's just no point in trying too hard, I can make (fake) eye contact well, but it still means absolutely nothing, it's just something I do to show interest in what people are saying.

I've tried that, but it offers little in terms of feeling comfortable. It's better than making eye contact without any sunglasses though.

I find that if the other person is wearing sunglasses, then it's easier to establish eye contact with them.



*shudder* Me and my family are being spied on by voyeurs.

hmm, I still have a problem looking at people who are wearing sunglasses. :S maybe it has to do with them seeing my eyes, more than me seeing their eyes. :S

I think it varies from person to person. I can look a person in the eyes, but when they look back it's like receiving an electric shock.

I can force myself, but it's obvious the level of discomfort it causes me. :S

if I put a pic of me as my av someday, I'm going to be wearing sunglasses, so that people don't have to look me in the eye :D