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TruthfulTrout
Snowy Owl
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29 Apr 2008, 4:28 pm

Ok, I feel that I have to step in and say a few things here. Yes, I'm the one whom she loves. Let me clear up a thing or two.

A. She's not stalking me here. I advised her to sign up and ask the AS community for help concerning this situation, and gave her permission to say who I was.

B. She does put my feelings in front of hers (Too much, in my opinion), and I've begged her to not concern herself with how I'm feeling and simply concentrate on being content.

C. There seems to be some confusion here. She's not trying to get me to love her. This is not a question of if I love her; it's a matter of letting myself love her.

D. She's well aware that the reason I don't want to let myself love her is that I fear harming her, as it is inevitable that it will happen.

I'm sorry if her question has offended anyone, I simply thought others on the spectrum might be able to offer her some insight into the Aspie mind without getting angry. It seems I was wrong. I apologize. If you have any other questions concerning this, please direct them at me, and I will answer to the best of my ability.



Last edited by TruthfulTrout on 29 Apr 2008, 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nomnom_hamster
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29 Apr 2008, 5:04 pm

Everyone gets hurt when it comes to stuff like that.

Thats how you learn. If you fall in love with someone, you're taking that risk.

If you two do break up, that pain will be there to tell both of you what to look out for next time.

Like...if I stick my hand into a flame that looks like this what happens? ouch, i got burnt...

And then the next time: That looks familiar...oh its a flame. What happened last time? I got burnt. I said ouch. It hurt. Maybe I shouldn't do that again.

And it doesn't have to be if you break up, you can learn these lessons and still be in a healthy relationship.
Like...We've already tried doing that in that situation, maybe we should try something else this time to work through this problem (problem not meaning trouble, but problem meaning figuring out the equation kind of thing).

Thats life though, in general.

I think you already love her, to whatever extent that may be, otherwise this never would have come up. If you didn't, would you be THIS AFRAID of hurting her?

I mean, its and aspie thing to not want to hurt something/someone, but...really,

You asked her to come here for help for both of you and you came here to help her help both of you and its all about how much you don't want to hurt her and stuff....

So you already love her right?

So now I want to know what the real ? is....

:? I confuse myself sometimes.... :? :roll:

Edit: k got it.

you're obviously worthy cause you wouldn't be going through this much to figure it out, and neither would she.

While its up to all of us to determine our self-worth in life, you have determined you aren't worthy of this, while she says you are. I think you should let her make her decision on this.

She says you're worthy, so don't worry so much about it. And like I said, its a learning process.

If you're willing to let her say you're worthy and you trust her, then go with it.


Are you understanding any of this? I hope I didn't make it too confusing...

And since its not aspie nature to hurt someone(usually), if you do something that does hurt her, she has the people here to clear up the confusion since it won't have been intentional.

:D (rofl :lol: )



TruthfulTrout
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29 Apr 2008, 8:58 pm

nomnom_hamster wrote:
you're obviously worthy cause you wouldn't be going through this much to figure it out, and neither would she.

While its up to all of us to determine our self-worth in life, you have determined you aren't worthy of this, while she says you are. I think you should let her make her decision on this.

She says you're worthy, so don't worry so much about it. And like I said, its a learning process.

If you're willing to let her say you're worthy and you trust her, then go with it.


Thanks, Hamster. I understood most of what you said, but this part confused me. Perhaps it's the way you worded it, but I'm not entirely sure what you mean. Are you saying that I should believe her when she says I'm worthy or go with my own judgement?



nomnom_hamster
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30 Apr 2008, 1:12 am

TruthfulTrout wrote:
nomnom_hamster wrote:
you're obviously worthy cause you wouldn't be going through this much to figure it out, and neither would she.

While its up to all of us to determine our self-worth in life, you have determined you aren't worthy of this, while she says you are. I think you should let her make her decision on this.

She says you're worthy, so don't worry so much about it. And like I said, its a learning process.

If you're willing to let her say you're worthy and you trust her, then go with it.


Thanks, Hamster. I understood most of what you said, but this part confused me. Perhaps it's the way you worded it, but I'm not entirely sure what you mean. Are you saying that I should believe her when she says I'm worthy or go with my own judgement?


You should believe her when she says your worthy.

Sorry I was feeling light-headed earlier and was having a hard time saying what I was thinking.

You kind of need to learn that you're worthy, but you should trust her when she says you are. She knows whats best for her at the moment.

And don't worry about it so much :D "just go with the flow" as they say. You two seem to be really good friends so keep building on that and see what happens.