"friends"

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Why is it that when I want/need someone to talk to all my friends seem to disappear? Its like it annoys them or something. I dont want to bother the pastors or other people at church either unless its big...
Theres one friend I lost contact with six months ago and I really miss him, he was so much easier to get along with than anybody I have ever met or probably ever will meet...


Anyone else get this?

It's fairly typical of friends in my experience.

Friends are fleeting. Enemies are forever.

I emailed my best friend that my mother had died, and I've yet to get any reply from them (almost a month after). Since this is my best friend, you can imagine what my not-so=close friends are like (insert sarcastic laugh here).

I think that has a lot to do with how the friends perceives the friendship.

If you are best friends with another, that other might actually just think they're an acquaintance of you.

My acquaintances say that I am them are 'friends', some even say they're 'good friends' and they are eager to share things with me.

Yet, they are in truth just acquaintances. They would not share their real, deep worries and hopes or listen to mine (if I told them which of course I never would seeing how they're not friends).

They're nothing like my actual friends.

If people are certain they're friends with you, it doesn't mean they want that particular kind of friendship that you might have in mind.

Yes, I agree with this. I have difficulties knowing how another person perceives their relationship with me, unless they actually tell me outright, because people can often talk to everyone in the same way in a social setting, but that doesn't mean they perceive everyone as their friends. I have very few friends - the friends I have are those who have really gone out of their way to initiate the friendship, as I don't know how to do that, and who have told me clearly that they value our friendship and see me as a good friend.

What if you had somebody pursuing you as more than friends for years and being very clear in saying how he felt about you and even getting into talking about the future, but then he suddenly changed once he realised it couldnt happen at this point in time due to circumstances and tryed to convince you that none of it happened, that he never said those things and you misunderstood, and everyone else who saw and heard him also misunderstood?

That's what the phrase "good riddance" was created for.

And sometimes friends will turn into long term enemies.....

So better be careful! Argh!! !

i am quite naive about friends. i can make thema but do not understand how to keep many of them. but i do know hundreds of people from over the course of my bumpy life.

i tend to collect people. i may have been some kind of spider in a past life.

I know a lot of people. but no one knows me.
i have one autistic friend who aboslutely knows me better than anyone

and i do not like to spend time with people much at all. too complex. if i let them close i get so mucked up because of communication struggles and misreading things, worrying etc.

I suppose that I'll have to defer to your experience in that. I guess it could happen, if you're an as*hole to those close to you.

Unless you decide that friends aren't important in your live, ever...

It can also happen the other way around. If they start to bully you and you refuse to put up with the bullying any longer then they will turn into enemies. When you stop enabling and facilitating an alcoholic they will turn on you and start blaming you. That sort of thing.

Why do you care? If they think that you are not worth of keeping contact, why you should bother at all? Their problem, not yours!

Yes, but then the person wasn't a friend, but a toxic person all along whose attachment was destructive.

But I definitely agree with you that bad people can masquerade their way into your life as friends and benefactors.