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nettiespaghetti
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04 Jun 2008, 10:57 am

This has been my topic of thought today: I cannot *stand* fake people. Of course we all have our own personal examples... a person that always has a huge grin on their face but then snaps at you when you're not expecting it. The person who is sweet as honey and has a nice exterior, only to feel the proverbial knife in the back when you're not looking. Number #1,246 of things I can't relate to. I don't understand how people have that kind of energy, or what kick they get out of deceiving people. I can see through it, can't everyone else? I'm sure they do, but still... they keep doing it and somehow getting away with it. I guess maybe it's a hobby for them. Natural born actresses/actors apparently... *shrugs* So annoying, so irritating, almost brings out my psychotic tendencies...lol j.k. :)


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sinsboldly
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04 Jun 2008, 11:04 am

They do it because people let them get away with it.
Believe it or not, people get jolts of energy from the flashing smile, the light in the eyes, just like when people get angry and the eyes flash and the mouth twists and growls.
Those people that are 'fake' when pleasant are just as 'fake' when they are growling.

We, as AS rarely feel the anger as fake, we respond to it, we resonate with that feeling, we don't resonate so much with the 'warm fuzzies' they are throwing out, though.

doesn't make it right, or even pleasant to be around, but . . .there it is.

Merle


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CleverKitten
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04 Jun 2008, 11:17 am

People have often accused me of being fake.

But I swear I'm not. It's just that, I never yell when I'm angry, and I am as calm and pleasant as can be. Yet some people can't stand this! They accuse me of being fake and a liar.

But why should they care? I never snap at them, or yell at them, nor will any amount of hassling will convince me to lose my temper.


Would what I'm doing (controlling my temper) be considered "being fake?"


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nettiespaghetti
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04 Jun 2008, 11:22 am

I only consider it fake when other tendencies begin to show through. Like when you realize they said something about your behind your back when acting very sweet and nice to your face for instance, or when suddenly they say something nasty and then they realize and try to cover it back up with the syrupy sweetness. Or sometimes will just flat out lie about something you've done or said while pretending to be your friend. I could probably go on...


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04 Jun 2008, 11:27 am

My experience of that is people who want what they say to be true. They want to like everyone and have everyone like them and so they end up in contortions from time to time, trying to be all things to all people. Doesn't work, but they keep trying. Also, if when people are too nice all the time, they sometimes need to vent somewhere safe. Apparently Princess Diana used to get all nasty in private as a way to unwind after public appearances - not because she actually thought like that but because she was out of balance from being all nice.



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04 Jun 2008, 11:29 am

Oh, yeah. Those kinds of people are the ones I cannot tolerate.

It's kinda funny, though. The same people that accuse me of "being fake", are the ones that are truely being fake themselves.


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nettiespaghetti
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04 Jun 2008, 11:40 am

I suddenly feel the need to give an example... I don't want to have my attitude taken the wrong way. I'd much rather be around someone who can smile and try to make the best of things and stay positive. But here's my examples of fakeness that I hate:

A traveling nurse was stopping by every 2-4 weeks to visit my son after his surgery. She wasn't technically monitoring health per se, it was more development. Well being she was judging him against normal healthy children I felt it was unfair off the bat, but I figured it was free help so I tried to go along with it. She was very smiley and seemingly polite, but I soon realized that was anything but sweet. She picked apart everything with my son, and over and over tried to tell me I needed to do things differently, and that he was behind because he sat in his toddler chair too much, etc. Well he had surgery, he enjoyed rocking himself in his chair. I tried taking him out to play with him but he cried. I was not about to put him through any duress, and I tried to nicely explain this to her, but she just got more and more rude the more she visited until my husband hated seeing me so upset so we told her to stop coming. And I hated how when he was around she wasn't as rude to him as she was me, although she still ticked him off with her little remarks like "vacations over, yeah right". All over letting him rest in his chair. I so wanted to tell her to shove her smile where the sun don't shine.

Then there was this boss I had. She looked so super sweet with a huge smile 24/7. I soon found out differently, and was warned by alot of people within my company that she was devious and couldn't be trusted. For example, one day she had a guy working under her and she says to him "just go home we can finish up". It was Friday and he had to travel to get home because he was a merchandiser who had to stay in a motel during the week to help build one of our stores. Anyways, he says ok and goes home. She immediately pulled out her cell phone and called her boss and says "I can't believe he left us here with all this work". After she told him to leave. I just wanted to smack her!


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Prof_Pretorius
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04 Jun 2008, 12:02 pm

These sorts are often salespeople. My ex boss was all friendly and nice when around customers, but would snap at me for the slightest thing. Very annoying. His customers realized after the sale that he was only friendly if he was going to make money. Afterwards, he didn't know them ...


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04 Jun 2008, 8:09 pm

nettiespaghetti wrote:
Natural born actresses/actors apparently... *shrugs* So annoying, so irritating, almost brings out my psychotic tendencies...lol j.k. :)

Why would this induce psychosis in you? Or do you actually mean psychopathic instead?

(A personal peeve of mine is people colloquially misusing psychological and psychiatric terms in ways that don't make much sense if the proper meaning is understood.)



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04 Jun 2008, 8:13 pm

syrupy sweet people really f*****g annoy me.

People won't judge you for showing your true colours.



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04 Jun 2008, 9:01 pm

But what if a person just naturally has a sweet and kind personality? What if his/her mannersims are the true colors?

Why do people assume that a person who is nice isn't showing their true colors? :?


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04 Jun 2008, 9:31 pm

Now I wonder if that is why some people get mean to me about my niceness?



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04 Jun 2008, 9:41 pm

it makes me all the more leery of everyone....



nettiespaghetti
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04 Jun 2008, 10:06 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
nettiespaghetti wrote:
Natural born actresses/actors apparently... *shrugs* So annoying, so irritating, almost brings out my psychotic tendencies...lol j.k. :)

Why would this induce psychosis in you? Or do you actually mean psychopathic instead?

(A personal peeve of mine is people colloquially misusing psychological and psychiatric terms in ways that don't make much sense if the proper meaning is understood.)


Ok, psychotic, psychosis, whatever, it was just a joke. I guess I could have said it makes me want to get physically violent with them... but it was still just a joke. Like at the end of my other quote I said it makes me want to smack them, but I didn't really do it and I wasn't really going to smack them, just an expression of my frustration.


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