Is this how you feel?

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yes, sounds about right to me

Hodor...college didn't exactly make me a social butterfly but it was a little easier to meet open minded people at my U...(mileage may very) but I would recommend that you try and join some groups that share your special interests. I didn't force myself to do that out of fear of rejection but I really wish I had. Especially in the arts, I was afraid not being a "real artist"..ie ..sometimes means a pretentious jerk...that I would not be excepted but I think there were probably like minded aspies I missed meeting because of my own fear.

i annoy people for some reason, it sucks

I don't know what to say beyond I often feel this way, totally inept. For me, "making friends" is exactly as anxiety-producing as dating, just without the potential for sex. Will she call? Won't she? Why didn't she? And so often, either I like someone but they don't seem to reciprocate, or someone likes me but I'm not comfortable with them. It's hard for me to "dump" people - so I just tend to disappear. Aside from my SO I haven't had any real "friends" except party buddies when I was in college, really - and the small handful of people I do consider my friends, I seldom see.

It's like a dog chasing a car, and the car finally stops, so the dog finally has his prize...and then what? He doesn't know what to do with it.

I've found that I don't have the patience/tolerance/energy required for many friendships. I like to be on "good terms" with everyone, ideally, but I'm pretty much a homebody now, in my thirties - I seldom attend social gatherings, unless it's with my husband or it's related to our son's school, and even then I don't really fit in, and frankly that's fine with me. I'm tired of feeling badly about myself because other people perceive me to be "aloof" or "stand-offish" OR that I talk TOO much, or that I'm "selfish" for needing so much alone time. I do not intend to spend my forties feeling badly about who I am or what I need, damn it.

For me, that's liberation.

Does Animal liberation Front already use ALF (the TV character)? I don't actually EAT cats but...I think he is cute and fuzzy and would be a good mascot.

Perhaps a simple circle - with red crayon drawn OUTSIDE the lines?

I guess I lean to the abstract with logos.

Your (Sinagua) avatar could be a good basis, some crazy carachter saying (laughing) something like "hey, stop bugging me ! "

I've said almost those exact words.

To me, it's the difference between Asperger's, "social anxiety disorder" and schizophrenia. I'm not *afraid* of parties; just confused and overwhelmed by them. I'm not afraid of meeting other people; just don't know how to do it.

On the one hand, I desperately long to "belong." It frustrates me that I never quite seem to "fit in" with any given group. OTOH, as others have noted, I want to socialize with people on my terms. I know other people criticize me for my inability to accept certain basic social norms and my lack of interest in the kinds of things that interest "ordinary" pepole. But I also don't really want to socialize with people unless they can share interests with me.

Ultimately, I'd rather have a few close friends than be involved in a lot of clubs/groups/parties or whatever. And usually the people I've been closest to "mesh" with me without the social norms being an issue -- either because they're just as socially awkward as I am, or they're really outgoing themselves.

Once upon a time I guess when I was younger.

Now it doesn't bother me anymore, alone isn't that bad, the friends I tried so hard to keep years ago usually didn't understand me and caused me a good deal of stress at times as a result...like the lab rat that keeps getting shocked when he reaches for the cheese...after awhile he decides it just isn't worth it and moves one to something else.

Like sinagua said, I'm tired of feeling bad about myself based on other people's perceptions of me. I tried to "fit in" for too many years...it was a tremendous waste of energy.

I agree with you I do want to make social contact with people and have friends but there things holding me back like anxiety, depression, and just not having the social cues and skills of normal people. After a while you just stop trying to and avoid it. You know that it isn't going to help and make it worser but at least you're comfortable by yourself.