"you can't be autistic, because ..."

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I was initially told by a really arrogant psychologist that I couldn't have Asperger's because I didn't fit the profile, mainly because I'm female and it's "extremely rare in women."

Later, I was fortunate to find a knowledgeable autism expert who works with adults right in my local area and finally got an accurate diagnosis. She, as luck would have it, actually seems to exhibit some mild AS traits herself.

We had a good laugh over that other guy.

I would have failed that test, yet my mother still wouldn't have admitted I could be autistic.

I have never been married, have no kids, have had very few friends throughout my life, am asexual, asocial, have poor eye contact, sensory sensitivities, motor clumsiness, extreme difficulty socializing and serial obsessive interests. It's a real "duh" moment when a shrink tells me that, at age forty-something, I'm not AS but have merely failed to develop social skills. If I'm that old, reasonably intelligent and had a hypersocial NT mother who forced me into social situations as a child yet I still don't have social skills, maybe I don't have the neural substrate for intuitive social learning. And what might that mean? DUH!

Sounds like my issues.... Autism is not restricted to lining up cars in the corner! How many times must i tell you!! !/rant

Sometimes I'm half-tempted to take up lining-up-cars just so people will believe me. But then I don't, because lining up cars is boring.

My 4 year old son stopped doing that a year ago. But not a bad idea, next time someone is stuck on that silly stereotype, I could always take some of his cars and line them up

BORING???

Aw, heck no! Your cars must just not be shiny enough.

Lining up cars? I'd use to mimick a forecourt OR a car park ... Having fun with how to space them, all facing the same way, etc

"People with Asperger's have very distinctive mannerisms"

--she didn't actually say what these were, but it was my opinion that it's not always obvious when someone has AS, and moreover that it manifests itself differently in different people.

I've been wondering about trying to get a diagnosis, weighing the pros and cons before i do anything in that direction, but this thread is a lot of examples of why it might be a bad idea to try ! its hard to believe how ignorant doctors and other medical professionals can be, but i've noticed that admitting ignorance, even in a particular area they know little about, is not something they ever do. i think i'd respect them a lot more if they did, and trust their opinions more too (not that all doctors are the same of course, i've met good ones and bad ones).

I hear ya.

"You can't be Asperger's - you're too social!"

uh huh.

And I have half a lifetime of very bad decisions and bad situations and very bad things based on being WAY too social and having little or no boundaries.

Whatever people have as a preconceived notion about autism and Asperger's, if you don't fit that, they don't think you're it. They never consider the other very real possibility that their definition is wrong.

The real reason why I didn't look my mother in the eyes, and couldn't even when she said it was a test, was because I hated her expression. It was sad and neurotic and ugly and disgusting. Who would want to look at that?

My psychiatrist first said that I couldn't have autism because I talk to well at which is true. Then I found out about aspergers and he agrees that I probably have that.

"You have a Master's Degree in English."

"You care what people think of you."

"You have a job you do well."

"You speak well when you're not nervous."

"You just have an anxiety problem."

Ignorant person :"Your daughter doesn't have Aspergers, she's too gorgeous"

Me: "So are you saying that people with Aspergers are ugly?"

Ignorant person: "No, but she's too smart"

Me" "Oh, so now you're saying that people with Aspergers are dumb?"

By that time I walked away and left this pointless conversation. My 4 year old daughter is a diagnosed Aspie, and some people just refuse to believe it because of their ignorance.

From my mother upon hearing of my DX 'you cant have aspergers, your not a genius' upon reflection the light came on and she realised that the DX fits perfectly

"because you make eye to eye contact"
"because you can hold an intelligent conversation"
"you don't look autistic"
When I was a kid, there was no doubt that I was autistic. I didn't make eye to eye contact back then and had very little language. Now I am the complete opposite. I talk 24 hours a day. In the old days, I would scream if something was different or moved. If something was normally at a place and it was moved, I would scream. If people got too close to me, I would scream. Now I look and act completely normal except when I'm stressed. Then things happen. I get suicidal, I sometimes cut myself, have panic attacks, and I would either lose my language and start speaking gibberish or disorganized, and other things happen as well. I can't handle major changes now and stress is hard for me to deal with. I act autistic when those things happen.