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Synth
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04 Oct 2008, 10:11 pm

Aguila wrote:
Synth: It's like my brain flickers off and on rapidly like a dying light bulb, accompanied by the sinking feeling that I'm going to die...

I have felt just like that before! Also feeling like your covered in spiderwebs. The other things did not really ring a bell though. I have no idea what I would do without AS or whatever other problem I have. Sometimes it can be so frusterating though.

Wow really? Holy crap lol. I've only searched the whole internet practically asking around what the hell is going on and finally I find someone here who can relate :) Sorry, this is an exciting moment for me lol.



Kelsi
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04 Oct 2008, 10:28 pm

Synth, have you done any research on Temporal Lobe Epilepsy? It causes all manner of hallucinatory / mystical / psychic / sensory type experiences :)



Synth
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04 Oct 2008, 10:38 pm

I was thinking about doing it later but I'll stop posting for now and do it. Sounds interesting.



Synth
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04 Oct 2008, 10:51 pm

"can also be associated with tumors, meningitis, encephalitis, trauma, vascular malformations or congenital brain malformations." Hey, maybe I really am going to die 8) lol. Hopefully I can get an mri etc. soon. And from reading about it, I learned theres a part of our brain called the "hippocampus" lol, intriguing. But still, I don't want to jump to conclusions. I'd rather have an official diagnosis from a neurologist.



Mutanatia
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04 Oct 2008, 11:08 pm

Kelsi wrote:
Mutanatia wrote:
Kelsi wrote:
Synth,
As for PTSD, it is very common among Aspies. Being a 'square peg' forced into a 'round hole' is experienced by us as abuse. An accummulation of such incidents over time is traumatic. 'reruns of abuse and personal failures' fits with this, as do fears.


Define this "abuse." I'm wondering because...would this explain my memory flashes? Would being rejected b girls qualify as your definition of "abuse," or are we talking more about physical abuse, etc.?


Abuse can be emotional or psychological, not just physical. Being rejected by girls may or may not be abuse - it depends on how they went about it, what they did and said, etc. However, even if rejection is not done in an abusive way, it can still be traumatic. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can occur after a single major event, or as a result of an accummulation of trauma from many individual events, or from a prolonged event. Memory 'flashbacks' can be a symptom of PTSD if they are uncontrolled, intrusive, vivid and traumatic.


Interesting...my flashbacks are uncontrolled, intrusive, vivid, but not really traumatic so much. But I do unconsciously play events of being rejected/the problems that I had while in the relationship over and over again in these flashbacks. Some of the flashbacks I've had are where I replay an event and unconciously think about what I'd say to them were I back in that same situation etc. Does it sound like PTSD?



Synth
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04 Oct 2008, 11:22 pm

In fact I believe it is. For example I am a very sensitive person, so falling madly in love with someone only to have them reject me would impact me deeply enough to have an experience like this. So again, yes you could have ptsd. It all depends on the person.



dawndeleon
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04 Oct 2008, 11:25 pm

I had to pause and think about the 'spiderwebs' sensation, and that is a good description, not so much the sticky part, but the elastic feel, like you are breaking through them. I also have experienced a shut down moment or two, or as i usually call it , a 'glitch' when there is a delay in motor skills, or you lose focus with your eyes for a small time. When you have trouble putting a sentence together. It almost feels like a systems delay or something. I also get an electrical shock like sensation if i am jarred really fast, or in a sudden start. maybe that is also kind of a spiderwebby type feel too. I also had problems keeping my watches running once i started wearing it. Cheap 80's digital watches usually lasted a few hours on me. They would either slow down or die. Once I took one offf and set it on a desk for a few hours, it resumed ticking. . I used to see monsters as a kid too. I still have some visual hallucinations sometimes.

My school teachers would comment to my parents that i often 'stared off into space' As if they thought I was other than deep in thought. I have had my best ideas in that pose. Ok, so sometimes it felt like i hit a restart button.

I dealt with a lot of abuse from being different and it does have an effect on the way you may react to things. I often will find myself talking to people with my chin down, my shoulders up and my hands clasped, a la dying cockroach/praying mantis. Its hard to come out of your shell. Really hard. Its worth it when you do though, because its usually effin amazing.



Mixtli
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04 Oct 2008, 11:43 pm

I have a theory of Autistic evolution. It's going to be written briefly, and I hope I don't offend anyone, but underneath I think it may have some merit:

That is, Autism is a throw back to Homo Erectus or Neanderthal mental states. If you throw a bunch of aspies in the woods to survive, we would probably do quite well as a lot of our traits may allow us to excel in that situation: problem solving (original thinking), sensitivity to environmental changes, etc. The one thing that sets homo sapiens apart from previous hominids is the social aspect. It also parallels recent discoveries about chimpanzees; that they are actually quite intelligent but lack theory of mind, thus preventing or reducing the capacity to teach and to progress over generations. Chimpanzees can solve problems in their environment pretty well and can be ingenious at times, it is now found, but the knowledge is not passed on except in a limited way through mimickry by other chimpanzees.

It was the strong social aspect that allowed humans to settle and develop civilization and advance over time. Also, I read a theory at one time that Neanderthals had higher IQ's than modern humans (I think that was based on brain size, however).

Anyway, I think that the old Eructus/Neanderthal genes never went away totally and manifest themselves in certain lineages as AS and autism, and I think the irony is that it’s possible that civilization would never have happened without AS’s and in a sense NT’s and AS’s exist in a sort of symbiosis with each other.

NT's excel at organization and education and AS's push society forward with original thinking.



Synth
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04 Oct 2008, 11:48 pm

Only in that sort of symiosis of course, in all other ways it's quite the opposite.



Synth
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05 Oct 2008, 11:25 am

Also, sometimes I don't have a sense of time, 2 hours can pass and it feels like ten minutes :?