Autistic Empathy versus Neurotypical Empathy

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Yeah, I agree with what MadAme said.

Oh, probably you do it because you figure (I think correctly) that helping other beings fulfill more of whatever pretty potentials they happen to be endowed with is inherently valuable and satisfying.

Sorry you're feeling set upon. Gloss it over, please; is it really different from anybody else's griping about the irritating qualities of human beings in general? The fact that somebody takes a dim view of mankind doesn't mean he's not worth it. It doesn't even mean he's an ingrate.

Sidenote for Saffy: I don't engage in NT bashing, but I would like to point out that there is alot of AS bashing and Autie bashing here as well; maybe it comes with the territory. The irony is that this is a post about empathy; some ASs and Auties have it hard, so maybe try to use your empathy.

In any case, I think I am more empathic on a deeper level, or the reel deep experiential level of others. I almost feel like I can cloke myself in another's experience, but this happens rarely It really happens when someone experiences genuine pain and sorrow at there core. Especially someone at odds with themself, and when other NTs don't even notice.

I am probably more often a little clueless though, hard to say; basically its hard to say becuase I am a little clueless.

NTs can be quite cruel, look at the support for war among some NTs. It's almost slathering. Where is the empathy there. This whole empathy thing probably needs to be reexamined! Not to bash NTs or anything, just some NTs.

Do any AS's support war at the drop of a dime? Anyone?

To me, Saffy, it's sooo obviously sour grapes. I don't think that makes me as empathic as NTs, and this thread has generally managed to remain honest about auties' lack of empathy. I fear you've been drilled into assuming all our reactions will be different to NTs', so that in this case you may be overlooking the obvious psychological defense of trashing what you can't have (or in this case, what you can't be). I'm sure most of the occasional offenders would admit to doing this if you asked them.

I think people are confusing empathy with compassion on this thread. Empathy is the ability to have an idea of another's mental state. It has nothing to do with what you decide to do with that idea (help them or not).

Lack of empathy is the main symptom of AS, it's the necessary and sufficient symptom for diagnosis.

Greentea, great point. Maybe my occasional empathy is really what NTs experience quite often; hard to say. For me its a big deal when it happens, and maybe that is just because it is rare. But when it happens its a big deal and I think because of this I am more prone to really pay attention to it an analyze it. Does any of this make sense? Again, the problem is, I'm not sure. That's probably one problem with relating to NTs; this is all about differences in experience, and how can I try to understand the differences if the differences are generally incomprehensible; or, at least, so I think.

I'm just not sure.

Compassion, though, that, THAT, I do believe I understand. Then again, when I place myself in the shoes of all those Iraqi moms and dads who lost their little ones based on our bad decision and I just cant take it, is that empathy or compassion? If that's empathy then maybe I'm not AS at all; it just kills me.

Empathy is in the specific. If you meet one of those mothers and know instinctively what she needs in that precise moment, for example, then that's empathy, even if you use that knowledge against her.

If you're good enough at getting an intuition of what a person wants / needs at a specific moment, then you don't have AS.

I have zero empathy and this is what causes almost all my problems in life.

I am a very compassionate person and will sometimes even help people when it opposes my personal interests.

Compassion = feeling for another
Empathy = feeling another

Excellent answer. I couldn't put it better myself.

Okay, thanks. That's a relief. I'm getting used to the idea of being AS. Last thing I need is to be confused again.

A coworker of mine recently dumped their whole divorce thing on me one late night, at work, and I sat and stared, listening intently. After he was done, I think I might have said "huh," and went back to typing on my computer. He left, and then I thought that maybe he expected a bit more; I also think I was discerning a slightly hurt look on his face when I pulled the image of his expression up later. That sounds pretty AS, no?

Is it weird that I am preferring to be AS now? Maybe its just my way of accepting myself.

Maybe it's true for you, but not for all. I do have problems with empathy, but do not lack it compleately. I'd even say I'm not half bad at it.

My bigger problem is showing said empathy.

I find it near impossible to show empathy... and often with strangers have no idea what they are thinking, feeling. But when it comes to empathize with those that I am close too, especially other aspies, auties I often sense the inner feelings at a deeper level and that can really affect me. I think we do have empathy but not in the same way NTs do or experience it, I feel this is where the confusion comes in.

I am diagnosed with Aspergers and I do feel the diagnostic criteria is an on going process, I do not feel it will ever be a matter of a set of tick boxes its a lot more complete, those of us on the autism spectrum are as diverse and different as those that are not, one hat does not fit all of us, and still there are no real concrete answers to all our differences...

I realize lack of empathy is needed for this diagnosis. However, this notion is very vague and incongruent with what I have seen in others. I have seen lack of empathy and intuition in people without the diagnosis.
Researching the concept of empathy and when it exists and when it does not helps.
I am not saying those with the diagnosis of AS are misdiagnosed.
I have read in several threads that all of us are on the spectrum some just not enough to be that noticeable, these characteristics exist in the population at varying degrees but are present in everyone.
Also, I have researched empathy and have read that it can be learned and is learned.
Not negating the AS diagnosis here, just saying why get the idea there is nothing one can do? AS means not being perfect but lots of people aren't perfect anyway. Your thinking can be altered. Understanding is the key. Understanding yourself and those around you, what your weaknesses are, what their weaknesses are.
I have been around NTs and socialized with them my entire life.
I was always at a disadvantage with them because I didn't fit into their whatevers...I don't know what you'd call it.
One thing that never was much help to me was obsessing on how I was different from them.
People in the forum do this a lot in threads, but does it accomplish much?
Wouldn't it be more beneficial to consider how different we are but also, how alike we are too? The things we have in common as well as the things we do not.
And before you judge this (being an aspie I realize this will be difficult and reactions will be against this) remember I have experienced some of the worst, I am not a judgmental, perfect NT handing out NT advice who has always been surrounded by people who love me and "get" me, supportive of me, want to see me succeed. My experiences have been just as rough if not worse than most of yours.
I just see a lot of self defeatism in these threads. I wonder if it really has to be this way?

Tea touting topic

QFT Compassion and Empathy are distinct, discreet words. Thanks, Greentea.

My reponse is the same as Samuel Johnson's. And yours.

I don't often understand what people are thinking. However, I feel feelings on a pretty deep level, so it's sorta like I know a vauge gist of what someone is up to, but not the details.

I don't often understand what people are thinking. However, I feel feelings on a pretty deep level, so it's sorta like I know a vauge gist of what someone is up to, but not the details.