affecting social skills.

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I've browsed the forums, and have seen that some people here who has Asperger's do have friends and don't have it as bad as I do.

The problem is that I do have problems.

When I was about 3, my parents (who were never married) were seperated. My father gained custody of me from my mother and I went to live with him and my stepmother. I lived in the middle of nowhere (literally), in the remote desert. It was a small town with two restaurants and one gas station that happened to have a school. I didn't really even have neighbors, I lived a couple miles from the main road which was the town. All I could do was stay up in my room most of the time, and before and after I started elementary school, my father and stepfather never taught me social skills. So after I was 11 and went to live back with my mother, I was terrible at socializing and still am.

Will and has this ruined my life completely?

Personally, I don't think your life is ruined at all. It may not look good now, but there is always the future. What helped me a lot with social situations were self-help books. My favorite is "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little tricks for Big Success in Realationships'. I am pretty visual learner, and the steps and techniques were concrete enough to execute.

It's also important to examine in what way you are "terrible at socializing". One could say that and it could mean thousands of things varying from person to person...do you not know what to say? Not know if it's appropriate to say something? Maybe people are turned off by your body language? These are just a couple example and I'm sure you can think of your own.

Well, you might not be as far behind the rest of us as you might think. You haven't had much opportunity to develop your skills, but then again many have been given ample opportunity and they still don't get it.

To your question 'Will and has this ruined my life completely?', I would say no. You won't be giving this whole socialising thing 100% of your attention in life, hopefully. Rest assured, there's plenty of other things in life to worry about, and what strengths you have in other areas will give your life meaning if you use them to their full capacity.

It all depends on what you mean by socializing. It varies in severity, really. Like, if you're looking to go to parties a lot, and you have trouble socializing, and you're there and don't know what to say, why then would you go?

If you're trying to interact with others in a typical setting, just tune in to things that best serve your interests. I tend not to talk a lot if I'm not interested. I will sometimes engage in a conversation regarding my interests, but I rarely start a conversation. I may mingle into one if I support what's said or like what's being talked about.

Are you a member of any aspie support group? That might be helpful.

- Ray M -

I feel for you because I was kept isolated, too, and not taught things I needed to know. Even if you start late, though, you can catch up.

I also wanna add that my father and stepmother never got me help I needed in school, if kids were giving me extra hard times, I would have to deal with it. And I never even got diagnosed until I was 11.