Issues with moderating what people say when your Autistic

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hi all,

This is a message particularly directed at the admin/moderators but I thought I might as wll make it into a discussion as well.

I've just been talking to someone online and have been told that I have freaked then them out. I'm not gonna tell you anymore about it besides the fact that I don't parituclar understand where I went wrong and defaintly know that I couldn't have seen it coming.

The question I have is that if empathising is a big trait in autism. Also if the admins and moderators on this site have AS (if i understand correctly) then how on earth can they gain enough confidence to be responsible for deleting inappropriate comments when you can't 100% of the time be trusted to know what is and isn't inappropriate?!?!?

I for one wouldn't dream of moderating what other people say cause it would only be a matter of time before someone bad would happen!

Or do some autistics simply not get this trait?

This is a support site for Asperger's Syndrome and Autistic folks, the important word there is 'support'. Yes, as far as I know each moderator is AS or A. Speaking for myself, and not of any authority here at WP I go by the rules.

If what people are doing is against the rules, or the spirit of the rules, then I feel justified to make members aware of what part of the rules they are bending, prodding or plain out and out violating. As the members learn the rules and play by them, they learn lessons about how to live their lives out there in the three dimentional community as well. So it is a win-win situation for everyone!

But that doesn't mean I can't make mistakes, anonymous2. I have made some doozies!

(and who says we can't learn empathy? I didn't know how to play guitar when I first popped out of the womb, but I learned, why not learn empathy, too?


Merle

I cannot comment directly on the situation of WP moderators (I am not one), but when I moderated at a forum, I had no problems because the rules of what was allowed, and the parameters of my job were clearly defined for me. I simply applied the forum owner's instructions.

I only ever had one moderation decision questioned by a member (which was very surprising considering the posting volume). I responded to their query by explaining what I understood the member's complaint to be, gave the reasons for my initial decision and stated that if they disagreed (after I had explicated the reasons for the decision) that I would type the issue up for their approval and submit it without identifying information to another moderator (who they were free to choose) since (as I pointed out) having made the original decision, my partiality might be unintentionally effected. They chose not to take the issue further.

Otherwise, I simply did as I understood I had been instructed, while placing an emphasis on transparency (for instance all my moderator actions were clearly explained and always posted in a particular colour and with my name attached). While I imagine some posters might have failed to respond to inappropriate decisions, I doubt the entire membership of such a large board would uniformly fail to point out any complaints, and they all had a clear record of why I did what I did (so could be expected to quickly identify any inappropriate decisions), so it seems reasonable to conclude that having AS does not necessitate an inability to appropriately moderate an internet forum. Or at least no more so than being human does.

You're getting empathy mixed up with something else; lacking empathy doesn't mean you'll say inappropriate things. The better thing would be to see that people with an ASD will take something literal unless it's proven otherwise, and there's a good chance that many with such don't censor their thoughts--this latter portion of censoring thoughts isn't global like the problems with pragmatics and literal interpretations, however.

Not to mention the problems many have with perspective taking and realizing that others don't innately know what you do; this can lead to arguments, as both sides won't see how the other side can't be of their mind state. This also transposes over "customs"; someone with an ASD may constantly curse, and they won't see why it bothers other people, because it doesn't bother them (there is actually no way to stop these people from doing this; they try with drugs, and that just makes zombies, and they also try with torture (shock "therapy"), and that just creates people who are too afraid to do anything (and are like trained animals), if it "works" that is).

Socially and emotionally inappropriate behaviour can manifest in so many ways, and I think people should be more understanding of others and how they behave, as long as people aren't personally attacking others, whether overtly or covertly. This latter "attacking" is what should be focused on.

Not to say that people should be privy to behaviour that they find offensive; people do have the choice of who they wish to interact with, and they can stop interacting with people if they find them offensive in some way, without making a "big deal" about it.

I can feel sorry for people if they are in genuine distress but there are alot of people who tend to 'pull a fast one' meaning just trying to gain sympathy. Some people especially in the neurotypical community are just plain dishonest and they would do anything to gain money especially for an uninteresting issue or whether I was skint (having no money) at the time. Some disabled people try to attract sympathy and when I was a little boy I was often thought of as bone idle or that my autism traits are attention seeking behaviour. I have treated people like this as a survival technique. If I showed sympathy or helped someone when I have done things on my own thwn It could be seen as a soft touch or a sign of weakness. I don't know what anyone else thinks on the matter

This is true. I'm often inappropriate, usually because I'm wrong, immature or being too arrogant. When this happens, it reveals to me things I need to learn personally. So while I might not like it, I benefit from being corrected and I try to appreciate when people take the time.

Having empathy just means you can, among other things, take another's perspective on things, including the effects of your behaviors on others.

So being wrong or acting like an as*hole can result in you being inappropriate. Having no empathy in that situation just means that you didn't see yourself as inappropriate or don't get why it was inappropriate.

You can learn empathy, and few people have zero empathy. If you try to value the feedback of others to your behavior and moods, you might develop more awareness of how others react to you, which will help you develop more empathy. You cannot be totally unaware of your external projection of self and learn empathy for others.

Good luck.

I have been on a LOT of boards, and they HAVE been eclectic. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being best, I would give this site an 8. I would probably rank MOST around 7 to 8. 9 and 10 DO have a problem in that people that are far away from MY beliefs and sensibilities might complain. 1-3 is ludicrous and biased, 4-6 run the possible risk of getting sued. When you see the crazy things SOME say here, IMAGINE if that was said on a teen site that I would rank a 1-3. They would be ridiculed to no end!

So I find it odd that you complain about the moderators here.

BTW MOST moderators make mistakes. Those with half a brain KNOW IT! You have to live with it. The AOL censor system, when it started was haphazard, so I didn't think it was a program, but it was SO stupid that many believed it was. An ENCOURAGING IM that I sent was REJECTED because it was "insulting". I managed to get my message through, and the recipient APPRECIATED IT!

People don't seem to ridicule, here. It's very nice.

It seems to be a more supportive and laid-back environment where people can have diversity of personality and views without being attacked.

the rules ensure people are not attacked, because this is a support site, and all of the moderators are ASD with loads of experience (of being ASD, mostly)

Merle

You do not need social skills to know what positions are defensible and what are not.

If a position is atypical but reasonable, how would a socially-blind admin impair that person's ability to hold that position?

If a position is common but indefensible, why should it hold clout? (I have an answer to that, but humor me - and try to avoid the obvious answer, as it has serious pitfalls)

This thread raises interesting issues. I'm not yet sure where I stand, but I do know what side of the fence I am on.

Speaking of which, I cant seem to find out who our moderators are or how to contact them. What steps should I take to resolve a conflict involving someone else consistently breaking rule 2 (no personal attacks)?

Here you go, hope this helps.

Click a name on the list below to begin writing a PM to that moderator or access the Moderator Attention thread.

Quatermass
lau
tinky
MrMark
SinsBoldly

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt67102.htmlMODERATOR ATTENTION: how to get help when you need it

I do well enough to "pass" when I think about it. As long as I have more than a minute or two to make a decision, nobody's complained... yet.

Oh, they know I'm AS, all right, and there's this one guy who thinks I need an electrician to change my brain wiring to make it "more correct" (he said they thought he was AS in childhood, and then he tried to fit in, and did... I really don't think he's truly AS and he cited "brain plasticity" back at me...), but it's generally going well.