jman wrote:
The only time I experience sensory overload is when their is alot of drama going on around me. A situation that is very emotional. I actually don't know if this is sensory overload or not, but when things get like that I start stimming like crazy.
But I don't think I have an aversion to much of anything else. So I wouldn't know whats it like to experience some of the problems you do.
Sorry for getting pissed off at you. I guess I am having trouble accepting the fact that clinicians considered me "disabled" even though I am able to work and go to school. Sure I don't have many friends, but thats because I prefer my own company more than half the time.
I don't think I have as bad impairments as some of you around here, though. I am just having a very difficult time coming to terms with this condition.
I feel ashamed of myself for having this condition as it is considered a mental disablity. And to the general population this usually means you're ret*d. I find having this label at times to be very insulting and degrading, like I am less than other people. I see many of you around here not being able to get jobs or dates. Even though I've held down grunt work and part time jobs it makes me worry will I survive a corporate job? It makes me worried that I will end up like that since I am only 22 and still in college. Although right now I am on an internship and so far so good. The fact that I have a similar label to all of you, and alot of you are not being able to reach your goals makes me feel even more even more like crap for having this. It almost makes me feel like my life is set in stone: no job, no girlfriend, few friends, sucky life even though I received early intervention, who knows what the future brings?
The reason I got so mad at you for wanting this is because the fact that you need all these accomadations and support somehow reflects on me because you and me share a similar diagnosis.
THeir are alot of things that bother me about having autism. One major fact is how society at large has a very negative, and disparaging view of autism. You have organizations like CAN that have been desperately formed to get rid of it because it is so "aweful"
But the things that gets to me the most are some of the support groups that are devoted to families of people with ASDs. The fact that these support groups exist make me feel like a bad person for having this condition. Makes me almost feel like an alcoholic or drug addict or something. Both autties/aspies and substance abusers can be very difficult to live with and relate to, I am not denying that. However, the difference between autism and substance abuse is We didn't choose to be autisitc However drug abusers made the unwise choice of constantly getting drunk or high. The whole concept of having support groups for families of autties/aspies basically says to me "Shame on you for being autisitc, now we need a support group to deal with you"
Now I understand that some support groups are needed such as those for parents as valuable information can be shared to help support their autisitc child and help him/her reach their full potential. However one thing I have noticed about these support groups is the fact that parents blame every issue that arises to be centered around autism/AS. Like for example I remember one time here on WP a parent posted about their child refusing to do homework. And I thought to myself what does that have to do with AS?? Their are many other factors that could be contributing to that fact. Maybe he has a learning disability, or maybe he's just simply sick of school. Who knows? But the bottom online is alot of parents are overly intrusive instead of letting the child make their own mistakes, but if something bad happens being there to support him/her. Thats actually what life is all about, a learning process.
The most aggravating types of support groups for familes to those autism/AS is the spousal support groups. Most of the posts on most of the boards are devoted to blaming their AS spouse for failure of the marriage and insulting them. One Woman on a forum reffered to aspies as "Aspoids". On the same forum their motto is "It's not you, it's HIM". What these women don;t realize is it always takes two to tango. Their has to be compromise on both ends. If their AS is unwilling to compromise such as getting help for the AS, or trying to work out the issues then maybe the relationship is not meant to be. However that does give them right to make generalizations and put down everyone with AS. Those boards make me feel even more like crap because again they make me feel ashamed of myself for having this condition. As if it were my fault.
I think someday all of us autties should gather in a big city, and do a demonstration march for our civil rights and acceptance.
Im tired of having my dignity and self esteem destroyed by this label.
NO MORE!
Thats fine jman, I understand.
It’s hard to sometimes accept oneself when one has what are considered ‘impairments’ or ‘disabilities’ and are so labelled by the
Medical Model of Disability. The medical world, other institutions and the media paint such a negative image of impairments, AS and autism included. So it is no wonder the public think of the term “Mental Disability” as meaning someone is ‘ret*d’ (nasty word), or ‘mental’ (another nasty word).
It is about time these institutions and the media woke up and saw things from the view of the
Social Model of Disability, which looks upon impairments in a more positive way and sees that it is societies fault that people with impairments are marginalized and disabled by societies attitude and other barriers in the mainstream community.
Under the SMoD AS and autism have lots of strengths. They are a
different way of brain wiring rather than a
dysfunctional wiring.
Of course some take the SMoD too far and will never admit that some impairments are purely impairments and these people always look to blame society and other barriers even for things that cannot be societies fault as in my explanation of my coffee overload being to do with my impairment and not society faults because they exercise their right to drink coffee. (Or my example of the emergency vehicles using sirens not being the fault of the vehicles but a fault of my impairment itself)
I met someone that insisted that my coffee issue was the fault of society for drinking coffee, so insisted it was society that were causing the problem. I think that is really silly and is taking the SMoD toooo far and gives people arguing the opposite of the SMoD a chance to point out that the person is not serious and so therefore why take what they say on other matters seriously another time.
I am lucky that due to my age (38) I have reached a stage in my life where I am confident in myself and so am not affected, or too affected by what society thinks, or what I think society thinks.
I really hope you can attain this stage of your life sooner rather than later. I think coming on WP will help you see autism more positively and help you feel less bad about it. Positive portrayals by the institutions and media will change society, but it would still take time. Meanwhile, we can all do our bit to change the view of people we come into contact with, even if we do not use words.
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It's just amazing how bears and people can be.
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07 Dec 2005, 10:04 am
. yet even he said that my autism affects me far more than his disability affects him. once he's on the train, lost in his book or his newspaper, he's temporarily not 'disabled' any more - but with autism you never get away from it. any moment some sensory issue could strike, something can overload you, something unexpected could happen, someone could talk to you... certainly that's what I find, with autism you never get away from it for a moment, even my dreams are affected by autism. he dreams he's still able-bodied!
