Another Schizophrenia Topic

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Okay, I'm not really sure if all of this (please read the whole topic) is Schizophrenia or not, but there's no harm in asking.

When I was younger, I often heard voices that were not actually there. But at that point, I had been teased and harrassed by everyone so much, I would instantly freak out and go for the closest person to me. I think what was happening was that I was being driven insane by everyone. This had gone on for about eight years or so. But I still get in an instant shock (I totally freeze up) from it if I hear something similar. My mom says it looks like I saw a ghost or something.

I've also had a really tough time deciphering (excuse my spelling) dreams from reality. Even just yesterday did. When I was younger, I would be so insistant that what I saw in a dream was actually real, I'd give myself a meltdown over it. Nowadays, I often have to ask myself, was that a dream or actually real? It can be anything from conversations to random events. The most recent one was when my mom and I were driving down a rural road on Saturday, we saw a goat charge at a Geat Bue Heron. Weird, I know. The only way I know that was even real (since it seems like something that would only happen in a dream) was that my mom saw it, too.

I've also often seen things around that actually aren't there either. Like, I'd turn around and I'd think I'd see someone (or something there) and I'd do a double-take to make sure if they're really there or not, and they're often not there anymore. This has gone on my whole life.

As for my imagination, it's always been very, very vivid. Also, when I was eight, I wrote a story for the state-wide testing we always did. Even though the story itself had to do with imagination, I read it nowadays, and the main character just screams schizophrenic. (Ironically, the state said it was the top story for all third grade students in the state.)

Also in third grade, I'm certain I had a hallucination. I was on the playground equipment at recess and I wanted to go through the tube to get to the other side. I was about to go through, and I was all of a sudden pushed by these five boys in black leather jackets and I watched them go through. But the next thing I kenw, there was a big crowd of students behind me yelling "Go!" to me and I was just sitting there, looking confused and nervous as other. I went to tell the recess moniter what was going on and she wanted me to point out the boys that had pushed me. But I never saw them again after that moment and they were nowhere to be found. I remember her looking at me like I was insane.

And starting last September, I started hearing these really weird sounds. Kinda like alien sounds or something. I'd just be doing something like I would always do (like getting some food or hanging up clothes) and the sounds would start happening. I was always scared to death each time I heard it. And one of the times (this is creepy), I was talking on the phone to my boyfriend and I started hearing the sounds come from his end of the phone line. He didn't hear anything though and insisted everything over there was silent. And I could hear it, more clearly than ever. With the exception of that particular one, all the other ones occured whenever no one else was around.

I also talk to myself a ton and I will literally forget where I am sometimes. But this is also when I know for a fact that I'm alone and no one else is around (or will be) anytime soon. And a lot of the times, I'm not even myself when I do this. I'm usually someone else (real or not) talking to someone else (real or not). I know, it's really weird.

Only one person in my family has schizophrenia, and I'm not directly related to him as he's my aunt's ex-husband. And no one else has any signs of it. I know ADD, Bipolar, and OCD run in my family (I already know I have OCD as well), so I don't really know what's going on there. Heck, I barely even know what's going on with myself? Any thoughts?

Consider schizotypal personality before you consider schizophrenia... your reality testing seems to be working just fine despite odd perceptions and such.

Thanks, I'll look into it.

The telephone system has many glitches in it, and I wouldn't worry about hearing weird sounds over the telephone. Such glitches are: "digital compression artifacts", "crosstalk between lines", or "radio waves being rectified in line connections".

Being sensitive to real but "anomalous" and "uninteresting to other people" sounds, if I had heard something similar to the sounds you say you hear, I think I could probably identify the source. For example, it could be the sound version of a "mirage" or it could be a "resonance" or "a complex echo phenomenon" or a "beat mixing of different sounds", in the other cases where you are alone. These can also sound like voices but are merely bizarre in general and can usually be recorded, proving their reality.

edit: for example:
I've recorded a resonance in my bath that sounds like a Las Vegas Slot Machine.

That is true about the phone, it is often fuzzy. But it was the exact same sort of sound I hear when I'm off of it, too. The tape recorder is a good idea, too. I don't have one, but I'll look into seeing how much they cost.

I also looked up schizotypal personality disorder. It does sound a lot like me, but I'm more social. But I guess that would also depend on where I'm at, too.

My iPod won't record anything, but my cell phone does! Thanks for the idea.



Does anyone else have any thoughts on anything?