Saying you have AS - making yourself an easy target?
This is what I posted on my MySpace page:
It also means that I am socially "clumsy" (to say the least!) I don't know how to make "small talk," but if you get me talking about any of my passions, I can bore you to death! I can't remember names and faces, at least until I get to know the person very well (This is particularly embarassing at Max Creek shows, where everybody knows me And I can't look other people directly in the eyes, probably the most consistent symptom of Asperger's Syndrome. If it appears that I am, I'm really looking you in the mouth, which seems to be good enough for most people
People don't need to know about your AS because of your sense of smell. They can know you have a good sense of smell without knowing the label.
AmberEyes
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Joined: 26 Sep 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,438
Location: The Lands where the Jumblies live
Sadly, bullies will try and exploit any perceived differences/weakness they find in other people.
All they need is an excuse.
If they can't immediately see an excuse, they'll pester you until they invent one.
I've lost count of the numbers of people with disabilities and differences which aren't their faults be harassed and called names by other people. The intolerance I've witnessed is disgraceful: it's as if the bullies have no respect for human life at all.
Sometimes it's best to keep quiet, but even then...
I've told a few of my close friends that I think that I have it and linked them to the Aspie Quiz, which they all got a good laugh out of. Other than that, I don't see what the point would be in publicly exploiting it.
It's very anger-breeding when people make fun of others for their disabilities, as I most recently saw at my last psychology class where a middle aged woman was laughed at for the way she stared/stimmed while reading off a group report.
All they need is an excuse.
If they can't immediately see an excuse, they'll pester you until they invent one.
I've lost count of the numbers of people with disabilities and differences which aren't their faults be harassed and called names by other people. The intolerance I've witnessed is disgraceful: it's as if the bullies have no respect for human life at all.
Sometimes it's best to keep quiet, but even then...
I don't tell anyone about my AS,
but i have noticed that same conduct. if bullies can't see a difference to pick on they will just make one up.
sinsboldly
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Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
Yes.
There's never been any clear advantage for me, so I usually keep my mouth shut.
Telling people would actually be social and occupational "suicide".
I might as well walk around with a giant arrow above my head.
And they usually don't believe you anyway and think that you should "just get on with things".
Where I come from, some people still think that it's contagious and only little boys who repeatedly stick their hands into the deep-fat fryer can have the condition.
At the word "syndrome" or "autism" most people want to run or avoid the subject altogether or discuss far worse cases in depth and not listen to me.
If I do tell people, my close friends and relatives say that "I'm better than that", I "can't possibly have it" because the doctors were "deliberately lying to me"; that it will invalidate all my achievements and everything I've worked so hard for; that there's nothing "wrong" with me at all and I'm just deliberately attracting attention to myself; and that I "shouldn't label" myself; and that I shouldn't let "them" (doctors professionals etc.) win and that I should just "forget about it" because they are all "wrong".
When I do tell people in confidence such as counsellors, there's really nothing they can do anyway. They just tell me to "express my feelings" or that I'm "on a journey". When I tell them about my past their jaws drop with dumbfounded bewilderment and they openly admit that they aren't experienced enough to deal with me.
They give me no practical advice or clear coping strategies or helpful step by step courses of action.
Nothing.
I agree.
and then there are those that see before them an aging woman that is asking for help that should rightly go to the children, for they are the future and I am, apparently, the past. I have already done what adapting I am going to do, and besides, no one knows how to reach me, anyway. Panicked and desparate parents will be far easier to string along in pricy appointments for years.
Merle
_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
I've been kind of worried about this. I suddenly left public school, didn't tell anyone so I just kind of vanished. And I'm going to be attending again soon, but with accommodations or perhaps even an aide if the school can provide it. And I KNOW I'm going to bombarded with questions about why I have these now and why I'm back... and I really don't walk to talk to any of them because none of them'll ever be my friend.
I don't offer information unless it is relevant to a conversation, so it is a rare that I inform anyone.
That said, I don't particularly care whether they do or not. I've met very literal/gullible neurotypicals and very literal/gullible aspies; I'm rather irritated by both and pretty certain I don't qualify as literal or gullible. Subtext is not only obvious to me, but very stimulating.
I'm sure I'm vulnerable to quite a lot of forms of abuse, but I'm confident that being cheated isn't one of them, and I think the others are unrelated to Asperger Syndrome.
_________________
'I don't know if that's an Asperger's thing or not, I think it's just being reasonable.' - Bram Cohen
sinsboldly
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Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
when I was your age, anytime any girl 'left for a while' and came back, the gossip was she 'went to visit Aunt Florence' which was code for 'went to the Florence Critterden home for Wayward Girls (and Unwed Mothers).' At least you don't have 'that' to live down.
Merle
_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
I recently told a coworker, and he actually said "it wouldn't surprise me if you said you have autism, my sister is AS, and I show some traits, but not enough for a diagnosis." Followed by me specifying that it was AS I had, and we ended up talking about that because it was a really slow day.
sinsboldly
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Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
I impulsively told a coworker - she was transfering to another office - and she just lit up like a Christmas tree with smiles and grins! Seems her daughter was recently diagnosed on the Spectrum and it meant so much for her to see someone all grown up and supporting herself. I was humbled that it was so little for me to do that meant so much to her.
Merle
_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
Yes I think by telling strangers you have AS it informs them that you can be exploited more easily. And that also you probably live alone so would be easier to steal from or rape.
That's why I think people who go out in public and announce that they have Aspergers in news articles or at ASD conventions are absolutely stupid.
My own experience is I've told people I know only to have them suddenly start treating me completely different than they used to. I've witnessed this most recently in an older friend suddenly trying to tell me what to do and take control of my life as if I was her child.
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